Seriously Inconvenienced Ch. 03

"In a second bizarre crime, Police were called to the Frank Freeman Funeral Home, where it is believed someone broke in the night before. The Funeral Home says that there was no damage and no bodies were harmed nor desecrated. Police believe the break-in may have been just a prank by teenagers."

As Chuck Pringle gave the boring sports report, seeing that the University's Bulldogs had an open date before the finale against State Tech, Cindy Ross said to me: "Whew, I think we dodged one. Bettina didn't talk about the possibly stolen ashes of the Lawson woman."

"That's because I sealed the police reports, so the Press only got the information that there was a break-in." I said. "I cited family privacy and respect for the deceased during the ongoing investigation. My final report, which by the way will be written by me personally, will not mention the crazy shit about possible deer ashes and such. What did Joanne have to say?"

"She did well." Cindy said. "She connected the two events, but has no idea why someone might bring the deer from Cummings Outdoors to the funeral home to be cremated. Neither do I, for that matter. We're wondering if this is some sort of University fraternity prank."

"Could well be." I said. "By the way, Jack Muscone and his FBI team are flying to Washington this afternoon, and taking some evidence on their plane with them. I told them that you and I will be there to help guard the evidence, so be ready."

"O-kayyyy." said Cindy. She was learning; she didn't say anything else, but I caught her glancing at me several times.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I came out of my office at 8:00am, I saw a very pretty woman moving some stuff into the desk in the anteroom, in front of Paulina's office. Paulina was in the doorway to her office.

"Ah, Don," said Paulina, "just the man I needed to see. I want you to meet my assistant and paralegal, Yvonne Newton. She's going to be here at this desk while I'm here in this office. Our workload is rising, thanks to your Detectives' abilities to solve so many more crimes."

The woman was slender and thin, with short black hair and nice legs. "You're Detective Julie Newton's sister?" I asked, very sure, as I shook her hand.

"Why yes sir, I am." said Yvonne. "Did she tell you I was going to be working here?"

"No." I said, "But I can see the family resemblance. Welcome to Police Headquarters. I hope to have my own assistant as this other desk to keep you company by the New Year..."

I carried on, not only thinking of getting my own assistant, which I would need to help with my increasing paper workload, but of the Gor-don situation in the other office... a situation that would need resolving, and soon.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"I'm sorry, sir," said Christina Cho in my office later that morning, in the company of J.R. Barnes, "there were no ashes that allowed for any possibility of DNA or other cellular testing. I tried running a small sample of ashes against a human sample from the morgue and a deer sample from Cummings Outdoors, but my tests were totally inconclusive."

"Don't apologize for that." I said. "In fact, it might be for the best. Let me ask both of you this: is there anything, anything at all, to exclude the possibility that these ashes are of old Mrs. Lawson?"

"No sir." said J.R. Christina shook her head.

"So if I twist the English language to say that these ashes are likely the ashes of the old woman, I won't be committing perjury, will I?"

"No sir." said Christina. "Certainly we cannot prove such a statement to be intentionally incorrect."

"Good." I said. "I'm going to tell the family that it is my belief the ashes are the grandmother's despite Mr. Jed's belief they are not, that perhaps some contaminants got into the oven when the body was being cremated, making the ashes look slightly different than normal, and that this strange case is just a strange coincidence. Any issues with that from either of you?"

"No sir." said Christina. "If I'm ever asked, I'm going to say there simply is no way to prove otherwise." J.R. Barnes nodded agreement.

Part 12 - Final Flight

The County Airport was a bit busier than normal that afternoon. It was overcast, and the wind was just beginning to pick up a bit. The small, sleek, white and blue jet was near the tower. Two white vans pulled up nearby.

"Sir," said the driver of one of the vans to FBI Special Agent In Charge Jack Muscone, "Special Agent Lester Craig asked if you could take these crates to Washington." He handed Muscone a manifest and a letter from Agent Craig.

"Yeah, sure, we've got room. Go ahead and load 'em up before we put the other stuff on board." Muscone said agreeably, then turned to me. "As I was saying, we should be back in the City by the day before Thanksgiving. My team will want to spend Thanksgiving with their families."

"As long as you come spend your Thanksgiving with me and my family." I said, knowing that Jack Muscone really had no family to visit. "Molly's coming up, and I told Cindy and Teresa to come also, and told them that was not a request. I think they're secretly happy."

"Yeah, I sympathize with them, especially Teresa." said Jack. "You guys really are her family." I agreed as I watched three crates, four foot by four foot by four foot, being loaded onto the plane. Then other workers began loading Jack's crates into the back of the craft...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Yeah, some guys in coveralls are loading crates on the plane." said the spotter as he watched the loading through binoculars from the woods to the north of County Airport. "Okay, Muscone and his team are boarding... there's the redhead woman, her cop boyfriend kissing her goodbye... the curly-head woman and the Spic guy..."

"You don't have to narrate their every move." Keeler said.

"Shut up, you old fart." said the radio man. "I'm relaying this into the radio."

"Okay," said the spotter, "that redhead police officer with the crowbar is at the door of the plane... his wife, the Deputy CIA Director is at the door of the control tower waiting room.... that blonde policewoman is with her... the loaders are coming off the plane... they just closed the door. Radio the team leader that it's done, the cargo is loaded." The radio man sent the message.

"Okay..." said the spotter, "the cops and the CIA woman are getting in the Police SUV and driving away... the plane is taxiing to the end of the runway... wow, it's getting windy, the plane is jerking around a bit... okay, there it goes..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Martin Nash had left in his car after kissing Sandra Speer goodbye. I waved goodbye to Jack's plane as it began moving out, then got into my Police SUV, in which Laura and Cindy were already waiting.

As I drove down the road to the entrance gate of County Airport, the plane behind me began taking off as the skies turned darker gray. Laura was riding shotgun and Cindy was in the back.

"Whoa, something doesn't sound right." Laura said, her head whipping around to look out the window. Just then I caught the sound. The plane was just clearing the ground, but seemed to sputter--

***KA-BOOM!!!***

"Holy shit!" I yelled in total shock as the shock wave of the explosion impacted my body. I almost overturned the SUV as I whipped it around 180 degrees and hit the gas, instinctively hitting the blue lights and siren. As the plane hit the ground in a fireball right at the end of the runway, I tore down the apron and then the runway itself, the blue lights casting an eerie glow on the concrete of the tarmac. I called into my radio for police and fire units to respond. The Airport had one Fire Engine; it was pulling out right behind me, red lights blazing.

We got to within 30 feet of the outskirts of the debris when I hit the brakes. The fire truck went on past me before stopping, firemen racing to get hoses out and foam on the burning wreck. I got out of the car, feeling more than seeing Laura come up to my side, Cindy somewhere right behind me.

"Oh my God, oh my God..." I gasped. Laura came up to my side and put her arms around me, possibly thinking I'd try to go forward into the wreck. But it was too late for that. I put my arm around my wife as we looked on in shock, neither of us able to do a damn thing about our friends in what was left of that plane...

To be continued.