by Scorpio44a
Very seldom write anything about the stories I read here but had to say this one was one of the best i have ever read.
One of the best stories that I have read on this site in a long time. Thank You!!
Well written, and it showed you have great emotion in your writing. I'm just a little perplexed as to why you would put the story in the incest/taboo section?
and with lots of twists. Did Pete get his vasectomy inverted and which of the ladies was the birth mother
a few confusing issues that should be clarified, vasectomy was one of them and some dialogue early in that was a little unclear. Nice to read a story without the usual cheating and drama.
Looks like you could add more chapters to this story, more adventures, and perhaps Sandi might get early parole?
Uh, yeah sounds like a real winner of a guy who tolerates the FBI breaking the law and investigating him with no warrant and using him. That kinda ruined the story for me.
The author has the ability to write a very interesting and convoluted story, with unusual side stories.The story line and the two main characters were very well defined, it seemed that I found compassion for them,and felt their sorrow.The addition of the three sisters was a very good twist to the root of the story, and the vivid sexual encounters with them only added more excitement to the story. The wedding cruise was icing on the cake for a good ending.I was sorry that the author had the three sisters move away, for it would have been yet another plus to the story for the younger sister and his wife Cass become pregnant at the same time He could have been involved with both of the women, and watched their bellies swell, as they carried his child.Thank You for the good read....Rich
I don't know if HE knows it but I think he's marrying 4 women, not 1!
continue reading. decent authors turn into writing about mostly gibberish orgies and other nonsense about putting toys, rocks, plastics, machines, etc. in human orifices, blah-ing on for pages and pages, with no meaning or needs for it... <p>
This is another of such gibberish nonsense. <p>
I have to say, though, that I like FROM DIANE TO SAME, author. I thought that carefully thought-out, well choreographed little exaggerated tale was well planned and well executed. In fact, it is one of the more memorable fiction --- intentional but creative fiction -- I've read here in Literotica. <p>
Alas, about 98 percent of what's written here are gibberish nonsense; and I only read about .001 percent of it; of htat, I like probably a dozen or so...
More than the usual sort of thing and the site and the first rime I have felt I wanted to comment. A good story well written with everything from tears to joy, great.
Loved your story, well written and very entertaining, as are most of your stories.
The plot twisted extremely well. I was sure that you were going to have Sandi be a hitter, and that she'd been the one to fire the shots. Years to set up that one hit. In retrospect, I'm very glad that you didn't. It would have turned a wonderful story into poor horror. Well Done!
Really enjoyed it.
Would have liked to know why Mark and Cass got shot in the first place. Wrong place/wrong time?? Was Mark a drug dealer??
Despite your attraction to big dramatic action (secret agents etc.) which I enjoy as well, I felt the high point of this story was at the first part when we witness two lonely grieving people find each other. That part was just exceptional.
This is up to yr usual standard-well written with eough details to where the reader can feel the pain and joy. Right on the edge of believability-with world conditions as they are, THIS COULD HAPPEN, and might have!
And as usual, with the usual Scorpio flair that we've come to expect from one who writes well.
You do so well at writing,and grammer,and spelling that there are hardly any hiccups in the line by line scan! I'm especially pleased with the plot(s) and continuity, and would like to see an extended story of your imagination. This effort was well done and also very plausible(imagine that). The main characters were well described as far as the mental being was concerned. The secondary persons were also believable in their own turn, which made the whole thing good to read. THANK YOU!!!
This story was very fascinating to read. I throughly enjoyed it.
Great variety in so many ways but woven together into a remember able and enjoyable short story.
I felt the Sex orgy aboard ship was only useful to contrast with the intimacy of the lovers (and to titillate us readers, thank you very much 8)
Parts of this story hit so close to home that it is almost scary and did cost me a tear or two. Your handling of the characters is great, the detail awesome and the sex as hot as anyone could ask. Thanks for the memories.
I know it is a long time since the story was posted and Scorpio44a has written many more stories, but this is one I often re-read. It is captivating in all respects. My only minor bitches about it are: first, it would have been nice to know why Mark and Cass were shot - was it truly random, angry wife, jealous lover, drug payback etc etc; and second, we were left hanging about Sandi. Her life sentence should have been confirmed and perhaps Mark and Cass visit, or she gains parole and becomes a 'friend' or something. As it was she just dropped off the screen after hanging up the phone. However, all that said the story was and still is a great stand alone read. Thanks Scorpio and please please keep posting.
Mark was shot because he and Cass were in the wrong place. The gunman needed money for a fix and seeing them dressed up he figured they were his money source. The bullet that hit Cass was intended for mark.
Sandi was convicted and received life. She hasn't reached her first parole hearing yet. Pete's FBI contact has verbally relayed messages to Sandi from Pete and Cass. If she gets out, she's coming home.
I'm glad I kept my notes from when I wrote the story.
Well thanks for that. Great to see you read comments. Your stories are fantastic and I enjoy them heaps. Thanks for the 'epilogue' comments. Obviously if they were part of your notes you had intended to work them into the story or use them for a 'next chapter'. Fair dinkum, I think there was enough plot in this story to write a full length novel without it losing any appeal. Thanks again and please keep writing AND POSTING.
This is my favorite story on this site. I have read it a number of times.
Consistent in it's quality - what we expect from you of course -
Consistent in much of it's theme - also no surprise -
The idea of a bisexual FBI agent traveling with her lover's (mother and daughter) while working undercover strains credulity of course, but you did predefine the world they live in as being a bit different from our norm LOL.
And the poly here grows like all of yours with incredible serendipity, the Nebraska farm girl goes from suffering a loss to topless sunbathing on someone else's deck to sharing his cock to mass sex groping and willingness to have a murderer move in all in 3 pages - woot nice world Pete found.
Thanks -
good but very little incest just a little mother daughter but not enough to put it here.
no real taboo either seems this would have been better in the erotic couples or romance area.
I found this story to be overly simplistic and totally unrealistic. Everything just flowed too smoothly to be believable. *SPOILERS ALERT* First, Cass cleaning what she thinks is an abandoned car and the "vacant" property next-door just after she moves into a place she's renting. Really? Um...Why? Second, Cass and Pete are both struggling with love relationships that have abruptly ended, she's been shot and her husband murdered before her eyes, and yet one walk and breakfast together and suddenly Cass & Pete are in love and she moves in with him. One jaunt in the sack and she's over her dead hubby. Third, new neighbors move in and after one meeting they all hop in the sack together. And the "lesbians" are all for sucking & fucking Pete, even the "Dom" Alex. Fourth, the whole FBI part of the tale is farcical. Alex identifies herself as an FBI agent who moved in next-door because she's ON ASSIGNMENT accompanied by her incestuous, mother&daughter, lesbian lovers!! Next, she sets it up so Pete can have a convenient, private phone call with his incarcerated, TERRORIST, former "wife", just because he's a "good guy"? Finally, she uses her FBI contacts to set up the whole honeymoon cruise and she and her lovers PAY for it? Alex must obviously work for herself, with no superiors to report to, be able to take a few days off to travel out of the country while in the middle of an assignment and is independently wealthy.
There just about zero conflict. Everyone gets over their few problems too quickly and easily. Everyone meets, then hops into bed together with nary a second thought. Even then, the sex scenes were very minimalistic. And the incest/taboo topic was practically non-existent within the story.
A lightweight story all around. Can't even call it a fairytale, because even fairytales have conflicts in need of resolution.
1) wrong area so little mother daughter sex as to be unnoticable this would be better in the erotic couples area.
2) way to rushed he gets over his wife leaving way to fast once the girl nextdoor moves in. she got over her husband way to fast and agreed to move in to fast.
3)the whole FBI part was a laugh
4) the cheap lazy explaination you gave in the comments area proves you suck as a writer a GOOD writer would have posted a second chapter to finish it off. of course a GOOD writer would have finished it off PROPERLY in the first place.
do all serious readers a favor and delete all your stories and rewrite them using a good editor and make sure to PROPERLY FINISH THEM.
I can so relate to the left part but leave out the things
She did away from home. A town near home here served
As a get away for the same activities. Though a wedding
Never came about I remember words she spoke the last
time we coupled.."youre dangerous" and that was our last
. She knew we were getting close and I think she wasnt
ready to commit...
So the stories are close, the participating people are too.
Great read..at least Pete found his 'clip' wasnt complete.
Okay now that I found you I gotta read more of your stories. Yes, Pete was cut but, during the bachelor party the other guy joined with Janet too. Pete just got to her first remember. Your notes answered the few questions my tiny mind had about Sandi and her parole if she got out. This story made me feel it was completed. Thank You for this excellent work.
I was hard the whole time. This story was very well written. You cant put it down. Keep up the good work!!
The whole FBI agent thing was just too ludicrous, even more so the three 'sisters', would have been better to leave the question unanswered than this dross.
No FBI agent would act in any way like that and keep their job.
Please get an editor with a working bullshit detector to stop you from writing silliness like this.
..., and I must admit, the FBI thing was pushing it. Could've been done a bit better, though how I couldn't say, I'm not a writer. And I admit that, even though some people believe that they are, Anonymously.
Overall, I enjoyed the story, and gave it 4 Stars.
Keep on writing!
A fantastic story. The FBI twist was unexpected and a little over the top, but damnit, I like this one!
A fantastic story. The FBI twist was unexpected and a little over the top, but damnit, I like this one!
I’m not sure but, didn’t the male protagonist say he had been clipped. Unless clipped means something different Janice baby wasn’t the protagonist baby, other than that good story.
Well for Pete's sake, my name is Mark too, lol! A very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.
i entirely agree with Dark_Storm's comment of 11 years ago. Unbelievably silly! This Pete character must exude very special pheromones to have not only Cass, but 3 lesbians jump right into bed with him. I mean, there's not even any mention of a big cock to sway these women! A lot of the anon comments mention the trash aspect of this one- gotta say, i'm with them as well! The thing i really shook my head about is 'where's the incest???'!!! I figured we'd discover that Cass was Pete's sister somehow. Just the fact that Alex' two lovers are mother and daughter had you putting this in the incest category? Baloney! Poppycock! Balderdash!