by Harddaysknight
Dan's response at the end should be: "We'll see." He took this whole scenario pretty well, all things considered. Most guys in that situation would probably have filed for divorce if they knew that their spouse was capable of tricking them into thinking they had betrayed them in such a cruel way.
The sad thing is, in my experience, most females are at least this manipulative when they really want something. At least she's not a cheater. Silver lining I guess.
Happy to not be married to either spouse in that couple. They, however, seem to be well suited for each other - just an observation, not a value judgement. Hawaii should be an interesting trip for them both.
Not a cheater (well they all say that don't they, right up until they are) but certainly a scheming, selfish bitch that would go to great lengths to get what she wants, even setting up her own husband to make it look like he has betrayed her in a most cruel way. Honestly I think that's worse. I wish them well.
Cute farce. No cheating. Just scheming with a back fire. Her other comments make it clear she loves him. And she has tried to get him to take her to Hawaii over the past year. Of course it is a farce. Essentially an episode of "I love Lucy" with a lot of sex involved.
Normal wife plotting to get what she wants without thinking anything could go wrong.
What a bitch, she reamed you out for asking her to make a pie for poker night. But she thinks it's fine to loan you out all the time.
Dan should watch out. He STILL got effectively manipulated!
Still pretty funny though.
I guess the silly wench isn't grown enough to, say maybe, COMMUNICATE with her husband?!
Just another stupid husband story. This is just horrible. Do you really think all men are this weak minded and gullible? Come on man.
She got her trip, and he got to taste some young pussy. She definitely paid for that stupid stunt
Conniving bitch wants to set up husband for a trip to Hawaii. AND he actually books the trip. Not angry at wife for the setup? Waste of time reading. 1 star -- Bob
Who cares about how logical this was? It was a great, funny story. 5 stars looking for 10. cd
Pretty funny but I don't think a lying, conniving wife deserves to go to Hawaii. Or anywhere else except maybe divorce court.
Low score. I know its a fantasy but the logic of a loving wife trying to get her husband to think he cheated to get a trip rather then just asking for it or banging him into it is off the wall.
You speak the truth in your 04/18/21 comment. Bull's Eye statement, friend.
HDK, I enjoy the oldies as well as the newer ballads.
Keep 'em comin'.
She just asks me if we can go to Hawaii and I book it, the way in the story seems like a lot more fun.
I just can’t understand why people expect lit stories to be realistic. Good one HDK!
so putting aside the fact that the wife just didn't once again say "take me to Hawaii" and plans this scheme she is in no way angry that he felt up her best friend and was eating the other neighbors pussy? She now knows he was faking being drunk.
A Bridge Too Far...
Ok, twists are good, even a double twist, if well reasoned and written. Which means right up to when hubby cums in his wife.
But a triple twist? Virtually impossible to pull off. And this one fell flat on it's face. What was great became an infantile farce. Ain't buying it. 2 stars...
The story part of this was pretty good, but the lack of communications by his wife was terrible. I can't believe the length she would go rather than just say "honey let's go t Hawaii".
Couldn't stop laughing! the plot was good and the writing excellent; loved your humourous description of events as they occurred.One of the really good stories on this site. Thank you HDK. 5*s, of course.
Now this is humourous! And very well conceived and written. Thank you HDK, this is more the thing expected of you.5*s.
Wish there were more light hearted writers like HDK and Britease...
That was one funny story. I laughed at the liberties he was taking when he was supposed completely out of it. 5 stars
Sweet Jesus, Crouching Tiger! One supreme sacrifice after another.
She can't know he is going to forget something,so that he can over hear her talking.
...great fun. This writer pulls off a real winner every once in a while and this is one of them. Four stars.
Great story! I laughed all the way through it, especially at the comments about parts guys. I'm lucky, a cousin owns the auto parts house in our town, and we have a great plumbing company (woman owned and mostly women plumbers) who not only know what to do but actually give same day service.
ON OUR DISHWASHER! get your brain out of the gutter.
"I want him to want to take me there." - Doesn't guilting him into doing it kind of defeating that purpose?
The "little blue pills" are expensive, you don't just hand them out like they're vitamins or aspirin.
As has been said before, her claim that she "knew" he was over-hearing them is bogus.
HDK
I must admit to enjoying this tale. I appreciated the fact that you created a humorous plot which was a hell of a much needed break from some of the more depressingly serious submissions on LW. Thanks for the laugh!
GREAT FUN READ AS ALMOST ALWAYS, SHAME SOME READERS HAVE THE NEED OF A HUMOUR TRANSFUSION, JUST 5⭐️, Thanks P.
If your husband loves you, why can't you just ask him to take you to Hawaii. A disappointing story.
How could she expect Dan to hear the conversation when he was on his way for the parts.They didn't know he had come back.?
I love reading your loving wife stories wit a funny plot. Keep on writing!
You are the absolute king of the humorous loving wife stories. This was a good one.
Isn’t that some shorthand way people used to use to express how funny something was? I know this is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read, on the ‘net or anywhere else. HDK, pay no attention to the nitpickers and naysayers, this story is just Funny. As. Hell. Period.Thanks for posting it here. I wish I could give it Ten stars.
Lost a star for her bogus "I hoped that if he heard" bullshit! As I think has been said, maybe by me, if she even THOUGHT that he heard, why go through with the plan?
How would Nicole expect him to hear the conversation about Hawaii when she knew he had set of to get a part.Also,why pay Debbie several hundred dollars for her part.This money would have paid for a trip to Hawaii,so why does she need Dan to finance it?
"Shit! Everybody, get out of the room," instructed Steve. "Marge, that goes for you and Debbie, too. I don't know what the hell you two were doing watching Dan laying pipe like a man possessed, but give them some privacy! The guy is a fucking machine!"
~ Priceless! I haven't seen/heard the expression "laying pipe" in a coon's age!
Fun story with plotting wife ends up getting the pipe laid and,her trip to Hawaii!
~ 5 ~
I never know, when I start one of your tales, if it will be a howler or not -- and that's part of the fun of dipping into your stuff!
Nice setup and delivery, with a delightful little zapper at the end....laughed all the way to Maui!
Thanks again for a fun time!
and that's a very high standard indeed! I enjoy it every time.
Thanks,
ohio
I've read it before, but I neglected to compliment you on a fine story. If the stories being written now were half this good, I would be one happy girl. You are, most certainly, the man. Funny, sexy, nicely written, the total package. Randi.
Bloody brilliant, funny story about a wife trying to trick her husband into taking her for a holiday in Hawaii (beautiful place) Loved it. I laughed and cracked a fat reading it! I loved the wife's response to His horn. I should get Him drunk more often. Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.
That was fantastic! I'm still smiling and chuckling. My face hurts!!!
When she "threw herself on me" --- he needed to continue the momentum placing her across his lap and spank her butt very red in front of all while he berates her for the devious 'scheme', giving a clear message to Marge, Deb and others.
The conceit in this story is so absurd as to deserve 1*
I agree, THAT would have been great, then he leaves the house and says fix your own shit from now on.
No one was supposed to be mistaken for real people. And the wife especially was like an episode of I Love Lucy. What fun. No actual pussies were hurt in the writing of this story, or at least none we know of. But I digress. Good deal.
Or... We're to believe she knew he heard the plotted plot and got her the Hawaii vacation because of that... And yet, if she believed he knew about the plotted plot, why wasn't she ballistic about him copping feels and eating out Debbie since it meant he KNEW what he was doing...?
Basically, I guess it means she was willing to let him ACTUALLY engage in at least SOME sexual activity with someone else as long as she got the vacation...
And yeah, the moment she flipped on him about volunteering HER, he should have reamed her a new one...
I like how he got a handful of Marge's tit but he can't fuck her because of his buddy Steve. Hot, horny and cock starved Debbie, though, is a sure thing. She doesn't have to answer to anyone and won't give a rat's ass what Marge or Nicole think, anyway, since she's moving away and won't be seeing them again.
Congrats. This was clever, funny and maybe just a bit ridiculous. Five out of five. Often with your stories I want to know what happens next. But this one ended perfectly. Cheers Steve
I didn't like the plotting by the wife, but in reality, we all know they do just that, some more so than others. in the story, the wife said she knew he would hear them plot the escapade, but I don't believe it. how many of us readers have said "I knew about it all along", in the normal form of conversation, to avoid a little embarrassment?
I don't know about most of the readers here, but I could never deny my wife anything I had the power to give her. the story said she usually got anything she wanted, but she still plotted, and stated that she hinted for a year, seems funny she just didn't come out and tell him.
I would have handed her the itinerary and say, "This is the trip I was GOING to take you on until I heard you plotting to trick me into taking you!"
I agree with KarenE, she had NO idea that he was over-hearing their plot.
Fraught with disaster. The plot was pretty near bad enough to get her divorced.
my second time through. So if she only said that because she knew he was listening, why was she following through with the plan? Very risky.
Very clever HDK comes through again. Cross, double cross, She get the trip, he gets some fun, he knows he is being set up, but does he know that the two women knew he was outside listening? So many questions....
totally loved it. I can see it, understand it, and appreciate it. I would consider this new world humor in a marriage.
for a couple of cheap feels.....TK U MLJ LV NV
Really? That is how you end it? He takes the cunt to Hawaii? Damn this wimp got the bitch good....
I think he should take this opportunity to do two things -
1) Remind Nicole about the apple pie incident, and instruct her that she is NOT to volunteer his services without checking with him first.
2) Mention to Marge that when she says she "owes him" she should remember that when Nicole tries to involve her in any plots against him.
If she was counting on his over hearing the plot and realizing how much she wanted to go and give her the trip, then why go through with the plot?
She had NO idea he knew anything, and that's why she was still trying to trick him.
Right at the end when you indicated they planned for Dan to overhear.
Should have stopped after "Dan is taking me to Hawaii."
Would have been perfect.
Since she knew he knew his tit grabs and snatch licking will cause problems.
Probably soon after returning from Maui! ;o)
'The poor guy is so drunk, he's even copping a feel from his own wife!'
and we should all accept it and get over it.
ask yourselves this:
if he had not come back for the dishwasher part and overheard them plotting, would it have been alright for his wife to blackmail him into a trip to Hawaii?
As the neighbor/friend said, why not just ask him to take her for a vacation without the manipulation?
If it had been me, I would have walked over to them and handed them the broken part and suggest where they could have inserted it on my way out the door.
.