All Comments on 'She Smiles When She Swallows'

Good story, but WAY too long.

No way was that too long. I can't see any part of it you could leave out. I hope you write more and often. Excellent.

first thought is was too long, but i couldn't stop reading it, it was perfect

now that they know how to control him and he likes watching i can see that he will have a long happy life of watching his wife fuck big dicks. and Nicole too. maybe they can get him to suck the big dicks first so it will slide in easier? he did not appear to be angry so maybe he is just a wimp. do a sequel of how they get him to take a big dick up his ass. maybe they can take pictures amd post them on the fridge?

Or maybe he is a bigger man than they think. Maybe he gets angry. Maybe he becomes an alpha male and teached them about arranging thier li\ves to suit him. Maybe not. i just hope he makes the big dicks use a rubber so he can stay fee of STD's. maybe he will find out that he already has an STD. or will when he fucks his wife again

it needs a closure.

A good long story...what you said in your Bio is very very very true and this is a very good show of that.

Congrats, and heres to many many more.

The cam corder was built into the story from the beginning, so there was a higher expectation of what was recorded there.To an extent that was a downer.

However this story is yet truly a Loving (cheating wife) Wives one.

"I don't know, he'd never do it to me." Then she starts checking to see if he has cheated. Then they go upstairs to talk about it. And by definition, plot how to go about getting hubby laid and being able to prove he did.

She's only looking for a good excuse to cheat, no concern whether it would be right or not.

Great Story, I could not stop reading it.

Keep Writing

I don't usually leave comments (good or bad) for any stories, however this one was perfect. Please continue to write.

Troubador said it well for me.

The length of the story is way to overboard. It was way to drawn out. I don’t mind a long well done story but this was just to boring. It could have been done in a third of the long obsessive drone on this story contained. There was just no reason or entertainment for the excessive so called drama.

The wife is a self-absorbed woman who cares only for herself. The husband will do anything and not rock the boat or lose his love. SAD

dull and tedious. After page 2 it was like hearing fingernails on the blackboard. Page 4 lead to excitement I haven't experienced since I watched the paint peel on Granny's wall.

BTW, was this supposed to take place in the US? Did you ever live here? Because your understanding of US laws is about as comprehensive as George Bush's! First, even if his wife admitted the IRS man into the house does not give a federal agent carte blanche to search a home never mind film the fucking place! And if you really want to wind up in Ft. Leavenworth making little rocks out of big ones, just try keeping federal property sometime! Your tight little bum will be warming Bubba's pecker faster than you can say "Al Capone".

Stick to what and where you know!

Later,

C

hemungus cock excites you enough to write this then you are into watching cocks and pathetic male humiliation.

Why did you spend so much time writing of his watched helpless cuckolding and planned demeanment - in doing so lowering him self to subhuman below human convention that he got excited watching his own (chosen)cuckolding.

So, was that exciting to you writer? As you can see it does excite a few jaded numb sicko's like yourself who are into male helpless demeanment as little else excites them enough to get it up and jackoff.

To be clear, this wasn't erotic to a semi-normal male or female it was just a contrived absurd sick accounting of a man who by choice become a wimp in his wife's and friends eyes - losing any real respect she and they once had for him as a male. Also, lost was any self respect he once had never to be regained in his sick mind.

Wonderful cast of really sick people writer - there wasn't a one worth a shit so much so they deserved each other and you who made them that basely subhuman.

You have talent little sick one but so far are only writing for the few - the 1% of pathetic sick males into self cuckolding themself, helpless male humilaition and watching cocks in the fantasy of using their wife whore as bait to watch cocks.

This was read to the end in hopes that you would have him become a man again in some small way but you didn't want that did you. Just a helpless wimpie half man.

Get some help little sick one as a writer creating a watching pathetic helpless humiliation man is as low as a Fetish writer can be. Is Pissing next?

I thought it was a great story too, one of the best I've read on this site. I would have preferred it if a few condoms had been available but I guess they would have been a challenge in the Jacoozi.

Enjoyed your story. I agree with the others about it being a little long but you did have to develop the characters somewhat and set an easy pace for the story to flow and build.

I was expecting a twist at the end and was plesantly surprised at how the wife and Nicole got the events started. Great. Keep it up.

...I have to say that it had its good points, but it was WAY TOO LONG ... like 6 pages too long. That's for starters. It was also too obvious what was going to happen ... no surprises here. What happened at the end just revealed what we expected all along only proving that Nicole is not a friend and that Belle is a boarderline idiot without any morals or character after all.

I agree, way to long. At least break it up into parts.

As far as the subject matter I don't understand the negative comments. It's clear early on where this is going and if you don't like this sort of thing hit the back button (a few times in this case) and pick another story to read. It seems like the tone of the negative comments is the same from story to story so it's likely the same person and that means he is reading all of these. So then just admit that you too enjoy Loving Wives.

You sure took your time with this tale, it seemed to go on and on. I can't say I admire many of your characters. Unless this is a family of swingers I can't imagine a husband to be so tolerant as to see his wife getting ready to be screwed by a stranger (with what STDs?) without saying "hey let's make some drinks for our guests" to breakup the 'party'. It is your tale and I really don't loke it.

Fantastic

to make the story. that made Mark seem week event houg he loved his wife and wanted her to enjoy herself. I believe in hubby and wife only but fantasy is fun. I liked the end, here is where he can redeam himself as an asertive man. You may want to shorten it a little bit or break it up into parts otherwise we cant stop reading an it seems too long.

Keep going, dont stop, you have good momentum going in the story.

There is no communication between them. Niether of them express their desires to the other, she tells her freinds more the she does him and he is to big of a pussy to confront her. If he wants to swing then he should tell her if she wants to cheat on him then she isnt worthy of him. HE needs to have the balls to tell her its ok or not and she needs to keep her legs closed until he says open them. Or they need to go thier seperate ways out of respect for each other if nothing else and that Nichole is not a very good friend, she very self serving. She isnt happy and misery loves company. Your story is about a doomed marrige unless something changes and fast.

Thanks for all the comments! I'm sort of on vacation now so I don't have access to a computer all the time, but I read every comment and feedback at least twice whenever I can.

The length issue seems to be the hottest topic and what can I say.. It's over thirty thousand words, or about a hundred ordinary book pages, so yeah it's long for literotica standards. But you read books, right? And they're not too long. So if you find this story too long, it just means I haven't been able to keep you interested.

If there is a sequel, and I'm starting to think there just might be since a lot of people wants to know whether Mark is a wimp or not, it may be shorter or it may be longer. I will in any case do my best to make it a more interesting read.

Please continue posting comments, I'm thankful to each and everyone of you, even those who hate the story and think I'm a sick individual. As long as you keep it civil...

Thanks again /Hsedo

I liked the story. Some people are too critical. It's supposed to be a fantasy!

Great writing. Fuck these cock suckers who say anything else. These pathetic bastards have no life.

It was a well written story, and a great plot. You brought us along at just the right speed. Please write some more

The queer assholes and sick motherfuckers will love this piss-poor waste of time trash.

I enjoyed this very much (although like some other readers I felt it was longer than it needed to be). I found it very erotic and exciting; and in addition I think the author did a marvelous job of creating ambiguity about what was going on (between Belle and Ethan during the party) and ambivalence about how Mark and Belle felt about things.

I hope you will ignore the vitriolic negative remarks from those who basically hate any story in which a husband is not a caveman who "protects" his wife by beating the shit out of any man who comes near her. If they don't like your stories, they should read other ones, instead finding new and creative ways to tell you what a jerk you are.

I enjoyed this story both because it was very sexy and because the play of feelings--uncertainty in Mark, the affection between him and Nicole, the concern and love between Mark and Belle--were explored in a really interesting way.

Thanks for this story, and please keep writing! I'd love to hear what happened between Nicole, Belle, and Mark the next morning.

I liked the build-up. Several of the scenes were very well done, including the nice nuances in body movement when Nicole was talking to Mark. Also, you did a good job breaking it up; having them watch the neighbors. If I had any constructive criticism, it would be that the "realness" of the jacuzzi didn't seem possible. Thanks and keep writing.

Sad that this author has written a fine story and yet no more submissions since the original. Many posters slammed the author for the tale being too long or other small details. This story was well done with a good fleshing out of charatcters and the author shows good skills with lots of promise. While I think the Husand got played and scammed-it is still a good story.

Please post some more!

I agree it was a little long and found myself searching through text just for 'Key Words' that would only pertain to the focus of the story. It was a jaulting read to say the least.

Very well written but jaulting still.

That was no IRS agent henceforth that CAM was NOT gorvernment property. If you remember, Mark, the narrater explained that.

As for the supposed wimp husband. I dont think so. He is very loving and trusting. He saw no problem with Belle's actions since he liked to watch and Nicole was with him and was so giving too with Belle's permission. "What's mine is yours, Coley."

He does however have a slight problem with them coniving all this up just so Belle can have a clear shot at that huge dick. That consitute a huge lie of ommision. "I am going to have to have a talk with Belle and Nicole when they wake up."

If it were me I would have asked Ethan to leave immediately without Nicole. Then I would fuck Nicole in the ass on the living room floor as Belle watched. I would make sure to use the all derogatory and hurtful phrases I could. Believe me when I would get through niether woman would ever dream doing something like that ever again.

The I would tell them had they asked first for a swap of partners I might have considered it.

One can only hope that his little talk has him kicking her ass to the curb. He probably won't though since he was wimp enough to let other men play with his wife's body all day long. He deserves what is going to happen to him. He will have to make reservations to fuck his wife during the free periods when she is not off fucking Ethan or others. One time thing my ass. Ha Ha Ha

There is nobody to like in this story. None of the main characters have any real love or respect for each other. Any wife who loved and respected her husband would not have played grab ass like that in the pool much less set him up so she could fuck a big dick. And any man with an ounce of self-respect would have put an end to the pool antics before they even got started.I feel like I wasted nine pages of my life reading this.

Another fucking wimp tale.

My wife and I did almost the exact same thing with another couple. We fucked each other's wives. We started by first eating our own wives as they sat on the side. Then blowjobs which turned into swapping bjs. Then his wife sat on my dick and mine on his. It was a fun night.

Lying, cheating sluts every one of them.

After nine pages of cheating wife garbage, author didn't desecrate LW again.

In NYC in late 1960's there was place called Plato's Retreat. I went with a few older friends once. After entering couldn't see much in dark. Then I realized floor was a moving mass of bodies. There was a pool with fat old men and beautiful young women. I left in less than 1/2 hour. I never felt so dirty or depressed in my life. Like I feel after this trash, which I skimmed then skipped whole pages.

It isn´t really my favourite type of story but it´s well written and pretty good overall.

Fix the fucking TAGS! This story was about nothing but cheating slut wifes and cucks. No likeable characters at all. So sorry I read it.

First, Mark needs to give it a week. Some decisions need to be made here. Make a breakfast date with both women for the following Saturday. The video seems to verify that this is her first time with "mega-cock" but will it be the last? Seems unlikely. A week will give him time to consider what he wants to do, and take steps if it's not "forgive and forget." A week will also give Isabelle a chance to really miss the experience. He was obviously set up and worked carefully and masterfully by the women so give it some time to really understand how he feels about it and how he'll deal with future repeat performances

Time to move on. Their marriage is not what he thought it was. Nicole and Belle manipulated him. Sad. Whioe she is afraid at losing him, Pandora's box has been opened and trust will be a real problem. Maybe they work it out with counseling. But they need to get away from their friends, especially Ethan and absolutely Nicole.

And of course more nonsensical big penis trope. 10" and thick is like 1 in 60k. Just check out any penise size calculator online. But hey it is fiction, where well-endowed men are common.