She Wouldn't Again

I knew what that meant, they were going to do it after all.

She said she had but still didn't like the idea, she and I were still married and still living together as man and wife. John that jerk, explained that she and I were living together but not as man and wife, not the way she felt for John and I felt for the other woman.

Again I almost gave my self away by shouting, "I love Peggy not any other woman", but somehow I stopped myself.

Peggy said she still wasn't sure if that was true, but even if it was we were still married. I rejoiced over that but then my heart came close to stopping as he talked her into going over that evening to talk more about it in person. God, I wanted to tell her not to, that it was a trap. Once they started kissing, and he was telling her in person how much he loved her, that would be that. But I couldn't say anything without her knowing I had listened in on a private conversation. That would have really set her off and probably have driven her into his arms and bed.

I had never been so frustrated in my life. I sat there listening with one ear and at the same time berating myself for being an idiot. I should have seen this earlier, I shouldn't have acted like a jerk but talked more with her about how I was feeling. I should have bought her something to celebrate the baby's birth like he did.

Finally he said bye, in a romantic excited way but she was a bit cold in her response. I don't know if he knew her well enough to catch it but I did. She hadn't made up her mind yet on who she was going to love. I almost sagged in relief, there was still time for me to do something. What I could do that wouldn't reveal that I had listened, I didn't know. I had to say something, but as I headed to the kitchen she was grabbing her purse and heading out the door. Over her shoulder she just said something about having to go buy something. It could have been for the baby even though Jessica was spending her first night over with her parents. For which I was glad so she won't be aught up in this. I just stood there dumbfounded. My first thought was she was going to buy a special nightie for tonight.

I waited and waited till she came home but once home she kept puttering around, not giving me a chance to say anything. I wondered if she was doing it on purpose, or was nervous about that night. Finally she cooked something quick for dinner but neither one of us ate much. She probably was thinking about later that night, or perhaps of Jessica being away for the first time, and still deciding what she wanted to do. I couldn't eat, my stomach was in knots. I tried to say that I loved her and was glad we had been married all those years and how we, mostly her, had produced a lovely child. She kept being sidetracked by her thoughts instead of listening.

Finally she showered and left. I ran to the door, since she hadn't warned me she was about to leave and was able to get out "I love you more than anything" as she got into her car. She gave me a funny look like she was suspicious that I knew somehow. She drove away without responding. That hurt but I had to do something so I decided on the one thing I could do since I didn't know where he lived. I hurried to my car and took off after her. I knew I was taking another big risk but I was desperate. I had succeeded in following her once. I thought I could again since she was preoccupied and alone this time. On the way the disturbing thought struck me that they had figured out that I had been listening and that this was a set up, but I couldn't take the chance it was for real.

After about thirty-five minutes of driving we came to a two story building. The building contained two condos, next to each other. Each one was skinny with two or three rooms down stairs and two or three upstairs. She stopped and got out. I quickly parked down the road, hopefully out of sight if she looked down the road for some reason. Peggy didn't as she went to the front door of one. She was let in and I was left to try to figure out what to do. I moved the car closer but still far enough away that it would not be seen even if they looked out a window.

I quickly got out of the car and rushed to a window. I saw that one curtain was partially open. I took one more huge chance, a double one this time, but I had to see what was happening. I had been able to watch with Ron and I wanted to even more now. The double chance was that not only might one or both of them see me peeking in but a neighbor might see me and call the cops about a Peeping Tom. I had to take the chance. It was the living room, Peggy and John talked some, I could not hear but I think I could understand the gist of it from reading lips a little and by their gestures. He tried to kiss her a couple of times and she turned her head but she answered him with something about love. I couldn't understand what exactly. Did she love him or love me or both or did she not know? It could be she loved him but still respected her wedding vows. But I knew they had kissed before, I had seen them more than once. Maybe she knew where the kisses could lead tonight.

God, I was so frustrated. He was able to influence her and I wasn't able to say anything in my defense or in the defense of our marriage. After quite a few minutes they left the room but instead of going to the front door the went up the stairs. I could hear them climb the steps even through the walls and I knew where they were going. It had probably been his idea. But how was I going to keep watching?

I turned around desperately looking for a way up, Climbing up to the balcony was out. I thought I could but probably would make too much noise and would be too easily spotted standing there next to the window. I saw a hill right next to his building. It looked like they had been building a road and put up this mound of dirt temporally. I tried to quickly ran up the side. It wasn't easy since the loose dirt kept slipping but once I got near the top I turned and looked. I was not quite at the right height. I climbed higher then had to move over a few steps to see his bedroom window. I couldn't believe it I was almost within jumping distance of the balcony. I quickly noticed that his drapery was only half way shut. I could see into the room.

By the time I was able to see what was happening they were standing there. I couldn't see the whole bedroom just a narrow slice of the middle. I did see most of the bed, which was not reassuring.

They talked, than he moved closer and this time she accepted his kiss. Please Peggy don't I begged in my mind. Resist him like you did Ron, please. Aga in I just watched for the same reason I had with Ron. To see how far she would go and this time to see if our marriage was over. If it was than I might go ahead and cut his balls off, knock his block off or some such. It wouldn't matter to our relationship and it would give me some satisfaction.

End Note:

Part two might be be online now.