All Comments on 'Shutdown Fever'

And he made the right decision. Still, I wish I knew what the real story was on what she was doing and thinking, esp. the last meeting with the other guy. Was her suicide attempt faked? You left a long of dangling questions.

what happen to the wife and did the lover have a long going affair?did he thank frank and the boys for their help?your story make a lot of sense and that make it good.

Enjoyed. Thanks for the time and words. The ending was proper, she had to be honest to keep the trust. I'll look for your next one. Thanks again.

One of the very best cheating wives stories in a long time.This is the type of ending all cheating wife/husband stories should have.

I really enjoyed reading the story. Nice work

kind of long ...but it ended as it should ...how could he ever trust her again ...i do feel sorry for her son though ...i hope they busted jerrys nuts so bad it will hurt him to ever get hard again...maybe he and janice can hook up sounds like she might be good for him...i do hope donna does ok as i wouldnt want bobby t osuffer to much ...she really should have told hubby about the contavt as no one asks a question like that without knowing something ...as for allison i hope she gets half of what jerry makes till the day he dies ... great story

There are some good thoughts shared by other readers and some not so much appreciated. I agree that he did the right thing in the end and I don't think you need to write another word. Some things just do NOT need further explanation. However, his wife had several serious character flaws. Being slightly drunk is no excuse for being unfaithful, especially when it happened twice. It is obvious (from the way you presented the story) that she wanted what she got every time, including the kiss in the parking lot. How smart and quick would she have to be to simply turn her head when he tried to kiss her? She didn't because she didn't mind and she let it linger because she liked it. It seems ludicrous that she would sign her e-mails "You loving wife" instead of simply, "I love you." She was anything but a loving wife. All in all, I agree that the story was a bit too long and a lot of stuff could have been left out without affecting the whole story. Writers should keep the phrase "economy of words" in mind. In other words, "How can I say this without being verbose," not "how long can I make this," should be the guide when writing. One last thought: A man should never ask for ALL the details concering his wife's sordid affair. He would have to be a masochist to deal with it and for it not to destroy his pride and any trust he had in her. Simply stated, the anser to the "Why" question is always "Because I wanted it to happen." Asking for the whole story just makes it all worse. I know that from experience.

The ending seemed perfect to me. Once he realized he simply could not trust her, he had to move on. What happens to her matters not.

A sad story, too; because you took the time to let us get to know the characters and their feelings, so in the end what happened matters to us.

It's very believable that Donna really loves Hugh; even believable that they might have been able to get past her second set of lies. But it's also quite believable that Hugh would act as he did: to say, enough is enough, I won't be lied to any more.

Thanks for your excellent writing! Best, ohio

I like it to a certain point. I mean the ending to this story could be anything and leave us to fill in the blanks.

Was she really being coerced into having sex with Jerry because he did something to her drink (another anyone's guess). Was she really afraid Hugh would think lesser or think otherwise of us if she let him know about her accidental meeting with Jerry?

Was Hugh really too unforgiving? Or was Hugh really trying to protect his own broken heart from getting any more broken than this?

Sometimes if there were doubts in something especially a flawed relationship then it might be better to completely get a clean break out of it then let it manifest and eventually really got out of hand. Well, maybe Hugh might have really misjudged Janice but who could really tell?

Nicely done. Very sad and I felt sympathetic towards all party even Jerry maybe a little for being beaten up so badly. My guess that it was Frank who sent someone up against Jerry.

The story was well written and reasonably well plotted, but too much narrative regarding his work. The real problem, however, was that it left this reader with an empty feeling...a feeling of a story not completed. I gave you a 50 because the story was left unfinished with too many unanswered questions. Cheers!

It's a good story and does well standing on it's own. However, I personally wouldn't mind finding out how things went in Seattle. The marriage was dead as soon as she lied to him again. The only question is how much the sister knew. It's too bad he hadn't already adopted Bobby, maybe he could give the kid a decent home to grow up in. Whether you continue the story or not I just wanted to say thanks for sharing.

It's a good story and does well standing on it's own. However, I personally wouldn't mind finding out how things went in Seattle. The marriage was dead as soon as she lied to him again. The only question is how much the sister knew. It's too bad he hadn't already adopted Bobby, maybe he could give the kid a decent home to grow up in. Whether you continue the story or not I just wanted to say thanks for sharing.

A reasonable rational 100% perfect story.

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Through page 4 I was getting furious over this idiot that passes as a man/ husband believeing anything the cunt wife says.

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he says (bottom page 4)

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I have no reason to think that you have made up the details of what happened, and I have no other way to prove or disprove what you told me anyway. <i></i>

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what a fucking idiot.

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The very first thing Donna did was LIE to her own KATHY (Hughs' sister) to make HUGH look bad. <b>The very FIRST thing.</b>

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<b>KEY POINT</b>-- Donna told Kathy a LIE... Donna KNEW Allison was NOT home.... that Allsion was away in Calif. Yet supposedly Donna was remorseful and distraught over her 1st cheating with Jerry and she SAYS in her email to Hugh she knew things went too far....

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<b>Good honest women dont make up lies and stories to go out and cheat if they dont want to. Donna lied to Kathy because she wanted to see Jerry a second time.</b>

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anything is bullshit

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Hugh should of been able to figure this out... He knows from Donna's email that she was almost FUCKED by Jerry the 1st time... that she had multiple orgasms she sucked Jerry's cock.

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<b>But Donna went back to see Jerry again. </b> Hugh shows up at Kathy's house.... Kathy relays the Lie Donna told her.

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<b>it never occurs to Hugh... Hmmmm if Donna was filled with regret and knew what she did was wrong and claims to have been drunk / drugged.... <b>WHY</b> did she LIE to Kathy ? </b>

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The PHOTO evidence provided for by Frank is NOT really needed by anyone with a brain... but for a dumb fuck like Hugh it was.

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Yes Donna MIGHT have been too drunk or drugged but we ONLY have Donna's word for that. But why tell a LIE to Kathy about meeeting with Jerry is she didnt want to be there a second time?

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Sad that Donna didn't figure out that she had to be completely truthful - she would have saved her marriage. Hugh is much better off moving on - I doubt she'd ever connect her behavior with the consequences associated with them.

I liked your story very much. Don't end it here.

Tim

loves just not enough. LOL, ok its corny?

anyway, i like the story. it captures enough emotion and melancholy. nicely written.

I don't know what it is with you writers that are so fracking politically correct, and trying to be the "good guy" that you never make the guy pay for fucking the wife.

Here's aniother story where Jerry get's off scott free because Hugh is such a fracking wimp that he actually seems relunctant to accost Jerry, prefering instaed to hide behind his cheating wife and letting her tell it. I personally would beat him whithin an inch of his life. He would never think of fucking up a marriage again. What is it with "writers" like you. What's your problem. If the guy was much larger than me than I would get a million volt stunner, use it, and then proceed to bring the wrath of God on jerry. But you don't do that.. I love cheating wife stories but why don't you give the husbands some gonads..Perhaps you don't know what they are.

Thnx for the work Jake. This one begs for a continuation. Not that they have to get back together, (nice), but what happens with him going off to Seattle and meeting up with Jan. I mean there is a lot of rain up there . . .

Donna lied to Kathy when she said she was going to play cards with Allison and Jerry. Why didn't Kathy react against her?

Then in the last story Donna never said where she went after

she left the mall. She did not go home or back to work. Kathy should have picked up on that immediately. Was she in collusion with her girl friend or slow in the analysis department?

The story as written is excellant. However, I think it begs for a continuation followup. Thanks for your great efforts.

I think to really end the story with some kind of closure, you need to write from Donna's point of view. Say as she receives the final divorce papers, she flashbacks over the whole mess from the start. Her lies to Kathy, her thoughts when she tried to commit suicide, where she was after she left the mall, etc. Not every story such as this needs an epilogue, this one however, begs it.

Thanks for your story.

Great Story.

I agree with those who would like a follow up.

The author portrayed Hugh as a straight-forward, no nonsense type of guy who placed a high value on truthfullness. His wife failed too many times for Hugh to believe anything she said in the future.****The author did an excellent job in depicting how truth and trust go hand in hand in a marriage. Thanks for the story.

Nice to read you again. You gave her a chance to be honest and she failed. Too bad, life has consequences!

Like a lot of relationships in life this one picked up too much crap to survive. It gets to a point where the pain and work involved to keep it alive are just not worth it. When she went back for a second time,she knew what she was doing and still talked to him and what ever else at the Mall. Good stories are hard to find, so Thank You for this.

this story is among the most heartwrenchingly believable. "it doesn't matter any more," Hugh says. and he is right: for there to be a chance for him to ever HOPE to rebuild trust and faith in Donna again, after what happened, AFTER SHE HAD CONFESSED, she needed to truly tell him EVERYTHING, "innocent" incident or not, her doing or someone else (Jerry's) doing. Because there must NOT BE, where her actions are concerned, ANY thing to let Hugh or her family think she's compromising herself again.

she must trust herself and her family and Hugh totally, and hope they not judge her when she tells them of such things. "The incident all the mall," as Hugh's sister put it, is ONE OF THOSE INCIDENTS.

and, as Hugh says, it doesn't matter anymore, AFTER Donna had promised to be truthful to him always and will never make another "mistake" again. Well, guess what? Hugh has not even arrived home yet, to start the reconciliation and Donna HAD ALREADY STARTED lying again!

so, Hugh's haunted (as Janice said in Alaska) phrase to his sister, "it doesn't matter any more, whether what Donna tells you about the mall incident,,," ------ that is a decisive man, not a wishy-washy who "couldn't live without" the "love" of his life, blah, blah, blah,,,,,,,

again, a sad tale but decisive man. Donna will lose more than Hugh in the years to come. there's likely no Jerry, no Hugh, and a whole lot of heataches after the divorce, as Kathy the sister might stay away from her (except to see Bobby her nephew) and so Donna will have plenty of time to reflect and regret,,, and then she will also need to find a good man, and it will be hard or harder than the first time around, with Hugh, when she's young and without baggages,,,

I would like to hear Donna's POV. A guy works that long away from home, it just opens the door for this kind of thing. Questions? Did she meet Jerry by design at the Mall? where did they go? seperate ways? To a Hotel? Lot of unanswered question. Did like the story though, but I do like happy endings. Cheers

I think that this was a great story and the inclination of revenge was good. I think though a follow up to really let into what happened and a look at the Seattle trip would be great. I still think Jerry was guilty but so was Donna.

So said Kathy, recounting what Donna had said when Donna arranged to have her kid spend the night at Kathy's. That being the seond time, Donna went to Jake, supposedly thinking nothing, or not much was going to happen, but in fact arranging ahead of time to spend the entire night there. Hmmm.

Surpised how that little fact seemed to have escaped the attention of just about everyone.

good story, Jake.

To all - The story was from the husbands point of view so I think it is a complete story. The wife could be innocent but it does not matter - he does not trust her anymore. In fact, he does not care. I am not sure about leaving his son, but that is the story. Author - great job and thanks for not writing all the preachy stuff about vows and honesty. This character was real and he asked for the full truth (needed it) and did not get it. For him it was over. You wrote him as a man and not some petty 12 year old. Thank you.

Donna really fucked up i think the meds that she has been taking for her depression may also be a factor for her behavior how about hearing what Donna has to say about her seeing Frank in the parking lot .?

Atlanta,Ga

Excellent writing. The author's style makes for an easy read and his technical skills are very good. I think the story's hook is a little weak. If I hadn't remembered jake60's name from his other stories, I'm not certain that the hook would've kept my interest.

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The plot is standard: hard-working hubby comes home early from a remote job, catches the wife cheating with a supposed friend and initiates a divorce. The author handles the storyline well and the scenes through which the characters move are very well done. If I have any criticism of the authorship, I thought Kathy's character was under-developed. The author doesn't say much about the childhood relationship between Hugh and Kathy nor a tremendous amount about the relationship as adults. We really don't know what kind of person Kathy is and have no idea whether she's trustworthy or not. Being good friends with Donna makes you think she might be biased in her favor but blood is thicker than water. Isn't it?

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The story ends with the couple divorcing and Hugh departing for greener pastures. He's satisfied that Donna hasn't mended her ways and will cheat on him in the future. He doesn't do anything to verify this belief but then again he doesn't have to. Her infidelity is sufficient grounds for divorce. I think that Hugh is too trusting of "his" friends. I suppose I have a bit of Missouri mule inside because I have to see it to believe it. Hugh is naive because he's willing to accept hearsay. These flaws make him believably human and it's good authorship.

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The sad part about the break-up is that Hugh won't be able to help Bobby grow into manhood. Hugh says he misses the boy but that's self-serving prattle because his actions speak louder than his words. Hugh's decision to leave town says what he really believes.

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The author doesn't spend a lot of time developing Donna's character and that was too bad because we don't know who Donna really is. I agree with the other posters who noted the lack of Donna's point of view in the story. We only see her through Hugh's eyes. Even that is remote, consisting mainly of phone calls and e-mails. Given what the characters say and finding no evidence to the contrary that suggests that they're untruthful, we have to believe that Hugh is right: Jerry drugged her then manipulated her into having sex with him again. It would've been better for her to have come clean with Hugh after the first tryst but she didn't. She didn't trust her husband enough to tell him the truth and that's the real reason for the divorce.

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My biggest criticism of the author's work is the character of Frank. Did Hugh save him from a fate worse than death when they were teenagers? He must've because Frank labors harder than Atlas to get the goods on dear Donna, a woman he's never met and of whom he has no personal knowledge. Come on, this guy's not for real. Oh, yeah, like I'm believing a guy I used to be friends in high school and recently met again on a job in Alaska is going to spend his days back home following my cheat slutwife around so he can get the scoop on her. Unreal. In my opinion, this fantastic device taints the quality of the story.

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Good fiction this is. Thank you, jake60, for a good story.

this story was just about perfect, albeit a tad long-winded. I was surprised, as were many others apparently, that neither Hugh or Kathy picked up on Donna's lie, about going to Jerry's house to play cards. Also, after Donna knew about the photos taken at the mall, she didn't explain where she was, during the time that Frank could not find either her or Jerry. Donna wasn't at home for sure, nor was Frank, so the lack of an explanation was a lie by omission at best. But at the end of the day, Hugh did exactly what he had to do, walk away from Donna, whether she was truly a slut-wife or not, the continued lies made it just impossible for him to ever get past that, & learn to trust her again. As far as his revenge on Jerry or not; Jerry got his, & Hugh realizing that could just walk away from that situation also.

Great story, & ending was good also. A sequel on his trip to Seattle would be, in effect, another story; and while you could certainly write it if you chose, this end wrapped up just fine. Good work, good to see you posting again.

Jake60:

As with your previously outstanding story about the art student and her muse, you have again a winner - but with one exception: the reader seems to be left with a story lacking a final resolution to the story.

So Hugh moves to the pacific northwest, Then what happens ........ My Conclusion: a potentially great story which now requires your finale.

RAG

Jake: I enjoyed your story. Thanks for your effort. Your protagonist, Hugh, already had all the information he needed after he met with his sister upon his return from Minnesota. According to his sister, Kathy, his wife, Donna, was having dinner with his friends for a SECOND time. This means she lied to Kathy TWICE about her evenings' plans. Why lie the FIRST time, much less the second, if everything were on the level? If it were planned to be as innocent an evening as Donna later claimed in her correspondence with Hugh, why the lie to Kathy prior to the first indiscretion? Her lying would indicate that something had already been planned between her and Jerry. It would further indicate that all she conveyed to Hugh after that were also lies. Her desire to so nobly not fault anyone but herself may have been an attempt to diffuse any serious blame from staining herself. As to the effect of the wine, and the possibility of its being doctored, Hugh has only her word. And she's already been exposed as a liar. (PP) As to the story itself, I would agree with much of what Alvaron posted, particularly regarding the lack of character development. I also missed the subtle nuances. You described Hugh's angst, but I didn't really feel it. For what it's worth, I enjoyed your story, was pleased with your resolution, but I just didn't feel invested in it. (PP) I don't think any more needs to be written. I'm not sure I need to read this from Donna's perspective, although it might be interesting to know why she felt the need to initially lie to Kathy. I would be apprehensive that, as has happened in past such endeavors, circumstances would suddenly change, and the two stories would have only their titles in common.

A lot of readers have asked for more. I understand their desire, but it would be the wrong thing to do. The woman accepted an inappropriate invitation, used lots of semi-plausable reasons for going, then fell right in with her slow seduction. She made verbal request to stop, but not once in either of the two admitted episodes did she actually try to end them. Well, except for what she describes in while in the toilet on the second cheat. What she describes there, if it is correct, was actually rape.

But she never put real effort out to stop the seductions. And then she follows her paramour to some unknown location. Obviously to continue the affair. How many times she did this after she was caught is a mystery that hardly needs solving for the husband to understand what was going on.

As for adding to the story; it would diminish the story, not enhance it. The husband and us all know what she has done. Why drag it out? As I read it, there are NO needed details to understand what happened. Sure, it leaves the "why" of her actions a mystery. But the basic reason was that she is weak, holding temporary sexual pleasure more important than her husband and even her son.

She's not a very nice person.

Doug

the Troubador

So did she cheat on her husband with full and conscious thought and without the aid of drugs or alcohol? Did she love her husband? Was Donna’s story entirely truthful?

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The answer to all of these questions is that we do not know. However, in my opinion, she lied about her liaisons AND she loved Hugh. She lied at the onset by telling Hugh’s sister twice that she was visiting Allison and Jerry. She knew Allison was away from the home. She lied over a period of 2 weeks, so she had more than adequate time to reconsider the second deception.

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Donna’s actions amounted to more than just poor judgment. However, the act of attempting suicide is not in keeping with that of a cheating wife who has already rationalized her actions. This woman has a small child whom I assume she loves. Yet she would leave her son an orphan? Her attempt to end her life said she did indeed give a lot of weight to her husband’s opinion of her. For him to have that much power she must have had strong feelings for him.

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In the end, the affair was made public to all vested parties. Why Hugh did not require Donna to tell Allison of the affair puzzles me. That would have been one requirement I would think he would have imposed. Nevertheless, he did not.

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Was Hugh justified in divorcing Donna, or was reconciliation the most appropriate action? My answer to that is that it depends.

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Each husband has a threshold in his mind that justifies a divorce. The absence of thrust without any concrete evidence will be enough for some spouses. Other spouses need physical evidence. Still others need to know that regardless of what happened that their future actions would have little effect on their spouse’s behavior before they can cut the cord. Each relationship has its own dynamic.

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In this story, we really do not know enough about Hugh’s values to know if he made the correct choice. It was correct to him and that is all that matters.

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Thanks for sharing this story with us.

one of the more believable LW stories on Literotica, or elsewhere for that matter.

I really liked the ending as you did it. Endings are the hardest part of a story to get right, and you nailed it with this one.

What more is there to say? Once Hugh decided he could not trust Donna, that was the end of their relationship. Once she lied about seeing Jerry in the car park, what could he believe of anything she had said before, or might say in the future?

Adding more would definitely not add to the story.

<p>What's weird is I watched something like this happen to a buddy that I knew.</p>

<p>Maybe it's my area, but the semi small town I'm from I've seen a lot of cheating. But I rarely agree with the Troubador and I do this time. The story as it stands is fine. It's explains alot and makes sense as it stands. I'm not sure a "Donna's" side would make any sense, save to make it more erotic as you would need to go into greater detail about her cheating and try to explain her thought process with Jerry. But I think the story doesn't suffer without a Donna side to it. The only real victim here is the small child, and the husband staying with her just for his sake is really the wrong thing to do. Eventually the child will pick up on the husbands lack of love and respect for the mother and force him to choose sides.</p>

<p>But I'm still laughing at the Anon poster who said that you were a wimp because you let Jerry get off scot free. I guess he missed the part at the end where Jerry got a free hospital stay from unknown assailants huh? Personally I've never been a fan of selective violence like that. I mean violence against just the other man if the wife <i>willingly</i> sleeps with another man in a story. That never made sense to me. If she was raped I can see it. If she was assulted for the heck of it or because she was robbed I can understand it. But not because she chose another man over me. </p>

<p>Nice Story. Looking forward to your next one</p>

-Risq

Very well done jake60!!! THANKS!!

First - Bravo for a realistic and down to earth story.

Second for those who are asking for Donna's POV it seems problematic at best. What can she really say that would make any difference? Donna - "I do not know how to be honest but trust me anyway." Listed below are some parts of Donna's story which smell like a 10 day dead fish: _____________________________________________________

Donna says "That first Friday, Jerry phoned me at work at about two o'clock, and asked me if I wanted to come over for supper". If it was so innocent why did she lie to Kathy? If it was so above board why didn't Donna invited Kathy and the kids to this supper?_______________________

Then we have in her words the belief that the same touching and caressing would occur the second time she went over to see Jerry. Huh! She seems to down play this situation totally. If she had a problem with drinks the first time why would she drink wine on the second "encounter?" When Jerry threatened to tell Hugh about them why didn't she tell him to go to Hell and then she call Hugh to confess her slip?_______________________________________________

It is mighty convenient that she attempts to take her life after taking to Kathy who comes over to save her. Who was going to take care of her son if she killed herself?_____

By the way, I do think that former best friends, aka Frank would try to help Hugh. So Hugh takes her back essentially on her word and faith and she demonstrates that she is not trustworthy. There is no reason for meeting Jerry and allowing him to kiss her in a public shopping mall. After all the damage Jerry caused her marriage she should have ran from him because anyone could have seen her and him there._________________________________________________

The other question is whose side is Hugh's sister on? She was used by Donna twice to enable her to be with her lover and to cheat on her brother. Donna lied (supposely) to her three times. If Kathy and Donna were so close why didn't Donna ever share this terrible burden (Jerry's seduction and threats)?__________________________________________

Botttom Line: Too many "mistakes" = lack of respect and trust by Donna__________________________________________

Excellent Story - Thanks___________SleeplessinMD

An outstanding story, very well written and edited. I'd love to read a sequal, and learn how Hugh moves on with his life.

Many thanks for sharing this story with us.

Bob

I made it halfway through the story and was enjoying it, but as soon as you brought in the 'maybe he drugged her drink' angle, I stopped reading. It is such a cop-out and a cliche. Why don't all you writers who use this hack plot device just let the wife be seduced, and then the story rests on whether the couple can get past it or not.

I don't even know if you had the wife be drugged or not - once I see that come up in a story, I'm gone. Too bad, it was pretty decent.

Been there, been through it and I did the opposite and regret it every day, as it happened over and over with other men until I got fed up with it also. Lies and lies on top of lies, never knowing whether to believe it or not. Moving on with my life now.

Loved the story, the ending was terrible.

I applaud you Author as does the crowd that also appreciates marital consequence when the circumstance calls for it.<P>

This was well written as were your others which should be read by those who haven't yet. Your ability to walk a plot path and maintain both interest and integrity is not often seen here. These stories are a clinic for some and prescribed for many others who oftentimes turn too many cheeks when the evidence demands more. And that is the key to fairness and consequence or not.<P>

Author your firm human positions are more than welcome as you sell them as appropriate to the circumstance. <P>

In my opinion, your level of detail was perfect and nothing more would enhance your work sequelwise. A suggestion to some would be that oftentimes a second reading is needed to catch all the subtle and not so subtle words / nuances that some authors plant to grow their plot. To reveal from all sides isn't like life nor is it very interesting. Sometimes the earth is flat for a reason and allows speculation or uncertainty to develop interest.<P>

Author - you are appreciated for all your work to date. It is consistantly credible and pushes a human degree of respect and self respect. We await your next when time permits.<P>

With Very High Regard

Excellent cliff hanger, I was so afraid the poor sod was gonna get suckered in & wimp out.

You know damn good & well she was with Jerry after the mall meeting, and she knew exactly what was gonna happen the second time she went over to Jerry’s. I’ll bet Donna had a pretty good idea of what she expected the first time, when she agreed to go over without their respective spouses. She tried to insinuate drinks & drugs weakened her will, but you can’t rape the willing. Next time if she’s gonna marry a guy who spends a lot of time away from home she should get dido & a puppy (for companionship).

I enjoyed your story very much.

Boyd

One of the best stories I have read and well written and not carried out for over a period of time. Some times we take people advice and sometimes we don't. In this story he was forgiving and understanding and wanted to make things work. Glad that he found out that his partner was not being truthful before he continued the relationship.

Sometimes "Slow and Easy" means, check it out before you make a decision.

Good job.

Did not like the ending of the story.

I was asking myself. If you tell a formulaic story, say a fairy tale, then at the last two paragraphs say pretty much “Nah” to all that you read before what does it make the whole work? There is some added interest at the end. There is a surprise because the formula has a twist. But if it comes at the end and all that it leads to is to kind of a reversal: “all that I was planning - is now void”, it makes you want to ask wait a minute! The way you concluded about things in your life so far, how do you know that you get it right THIS time around? Not as far as the evidence goes, but as far as your thinking about what happened to your wife? Who’s to tell? If you believed earlier that she was a victim why not think that she is still coerced in one way or another? And if you were wrong earlier about her what makes you think that now you get the picture right? I am not arguing for reconciliation here. I am just saying that what was a non existing inquiry by remote control earlier is no more and no less than that now. <P>

The main formula here is drink to cheat and perhaps drugged to cheat. It’s one of the least engaging formulas as it yields the wife to be a mere intermediary property “owned” by one male but violated by another. The drama is between the two males, they could have been arguing a real-estate deal gone belly up. You could not assign any free will; responsibility; or intelligence to the wife or else it would not be the alcohol and the drugs which did it, and it would immediately open a Pandora box of the one question no one wants to raise like WHY would the wife act so thoughtlessly (or may be it not so thoughtlessly?) to begin with. Why would she allow it to escalate “on its own” as if she is not a willing participant? Right from the first night? In other words, how deep do you really need to put your hand into a jar of cookies in a store to realize that you are stealing? Does it have to be all the way to your elbows? ************************************************And what went through her head throughout the week? There was no alcohol involve to affect her actions then. And what with the over all premise: namely, few drops of alcohol, and you could make all your wet dreams about your sexy, yet alas, unavailable neighbors; colleagues; old class mates come true. Just wait till their spouses are gone, give them a glass of wine and compliment them a bit. ************************************************And what are the underpinnings of the logic of ‘blackmail to cheat’ in this case? If she wanted to salvage the marriage as she claimed and ended up not only repeating but escalating the offense to the marriage and her vulnerability to further blackmail (if there was any). She knew what happened the previous week which did not include full intercourse, yet with a vague threat she went after a week of being sober to the house of her blackmailer and ended up upgrading her offense? True, the husband could not prove or disprove any thing from the wife’s emails. All the proof was already there embedded in the email which was fraught with internal contradictions. He should have left that work for those who make their living on reading documents carefully such as good lawyers. ************************************************ The wife is portrayed in the tradition loyal to the formula: make them as unrealistically dumb as possible, so that as some posters who say that they want “ feel good escapism” could tell themselves that compare to THIS their life is the picture of domestic bliss. I guess what for SOME is fun escapism for others is still a formula even with a twist at the end.

The story was good except for leaving his son in the care of his soon to be ex-wife. Divorce was the obvious option but he needed to stay near since Donna had already tried to hurt herself. Leaving and going half way across the country indicates that he didn't care about his son.

that deserves one score for the quality of the writing and one score for content. The writing of this story is a 5 and the content is a 3 IMHO.

The husband's character leaves a lot to be desired. I am afraid he is a lot like many men who make decisions and take action without fully exploring the "what happened" or the "why." The result may have been the same but no strings would have been left untied.

Wine , drugs it's appearant she knew what comes after the Bar-B-Q .

and the only prescription is more cowbell!<p>I dig this story, man.<p>

It's not his son you dumb fuck. It's his step-son. The sons parent is the cheating slut.

I totally agree with Scorpio44. I usually try to comment only on the writing, not whether I like how the plot turns out, but in this case, I felt the writing was sort of matter-of-fact, plain and simple, good but not great, but the plot just left me cold. I enjoyed the somewhat similar Amy Finds Her Muse because it gave motivation for the cheating wife. In this story, there seemed to be no particular reason for what she did. She seemed to want desperately to remain married to the husband for some reason, even though she also had no intention of being honest or faithful. What is her motivation? I considered that maybe she wanted him to support her, but according to the story, she already owned her own house and most of the stuff in it and was employed full time, so money didn't seem to be her goal. She seemed to prefer her sex elsewhere. She was non-dimensional. The story made no sense. And his reaction was cavemanish. His feelings were hardly revealed. Was he angry? Hurt? Jealous? Sad? What did he really think about besides his sort of macho knee-jerk reaction to being cheated on? It is hard to imagine him not wanting to confront her, to talk to her about it, to at least ask why? But there is very little of any of that. What was the sister's real role? Did she know more than she was telling? Was she hiding things from him? Why? What was her motivation? The plot needs a lot of work to make. I want a story to either be erotic or insightful, and this was neither. The descriptions of the sex were not erotic because of their place in the plot where I felt like I didn't want to read it. I also couldn't figure out why he wanted those details. It seemed silly. The only reason I could think of for demanding all the details was to humiliate and shame her, but that didn't really fit the plot. Basically, I felt that the story simply didn't make sense. I also felt a sense of the author trying to simply re-use the plot of the Amy story with a few twists, but it seemed formulaic. Are you a bitter victim of a cheating wife, playing out your bitterness? Why all the villainous women in the stories? What's your motivation?

I thought it was well done, and interesting. I hope you keep writing stories.

Jake60 when you look at the scores you will see that the vast majority liked your writing and liked your story angle and they gave your story a high score. Keep that in mind if you decide to keep writing. .................... For those of you that ever wonder why we lose new writers ........ just read the last three questions at the end of smy3th's comment ............... and remember that when Lit is full of nothing but 'willing cockolds', 'rape in it's worst form', 'bdsm in it's worst extreme', 'extreme man-hater stories', 'extreme women-hater stories', and no stories worth reading ............ we will have no one to blame but ourselves and our comments............. Writer I encourage you to keep writing but I would not blame you if you decided to quit.

The writing style is excellent, but the ending needed more work. It made no sense to me, I couldn't understand his reasoning. I do understand that for a reconciliation there would be a matter of trust, but the way he did it I concluded that he went through the motions and he was already looking for an excuse to quit.

Nevertheless, I am so grateful for your story. It entertained me, and I shudder to think that good writers will stop writing because of critique. I would hate if as readers we would end up subjected to what the previous comment from annonymous stated--cuckold stories, man haters, women haters, etc, because that's not what the category of Loving Wifes is about. Please, sir, keep on writing. This category is already in threat, I've started to avoid it. Quite sad, it used to be one of the best. what the hell has happened?

I really enjoyed this story. Well done. Actually, I've enjoyed all of them. I thought you did well to have hubby at least consider how he might get past wifey's indescretions. The advantage to hubby in this is that, in the future, he will have a clear sense of having given due consideration to all aspects of the situation and of having made the right decision for himself. He will be wistful at times for what was lost but will always know that it had to be that way. <P> This story shows the real problem: can trust be re-established in the face of lies? In this case, obviously not. Wifey started lying to hubby's sister and just didn't stop. It's kind of like coincidences. By the third one, it's enemy action. We don't have any past information on wifey but it's unlikely the lying started out of the blue. <P> Rather thought provoking, as we could have the same sort of thoughts about people we think we know. Do we really know them? In what kind of situations can we depend on them or not? Do you trust until proven wrong or does trust have to be earned in the first place? There are facile answers but no easy answers. <P> Phil

great story but did you leave the ending like that on purpose or is it an opening for another chapter

Very well done and not too drawn out.-------------Thank you for the great effort and entertainment.----PT

After I read those stories which I find intriguing enough to write a feedback to the author and to other readers ‘peer review’, I try to crystallize my thoughts, then put pen to paper (oops that one does not work anymore…) and to try and explain how and why I felt what I felt about the story. None of it is aimed at the author in person; all of it is directed at the story and only at the story. ****** <P>

The proposition of Anon is that the sum total of such reactions, if critical and even in the minority, could scare away the author from further writing. Let me ask. Should not the author benefit from the cumulative responses of his /her readers? Isn’t that the underlying assumption of opting to open the option for reader’s feedback? And it’s a savvy decision on the part of this and every author. Not because of my particular view, or any one particular reader’s view - but because of the sum total of all the comments. If there is a better story the reaction would encourage the author to reinforce what worked. If there was a story that had more problems, the reactions should show the author, at least what in readers’ mind did not work and what could make it work better. Isn’t the story aimed at the readers? It’s only in the cumulative reaction that the author can start seeing trends. But every reader should IMO cast their vote as if she/he is the only reader. ****** <P>

I am forever grateful for this grass root interactive site which benefits, authors and readers alike. The repeated vague yet ominous blames that people who dare to honestly express their opinions have ulterior motives or would be somehow responsible to irreparable damage to this site, are getting tired and lamer by the day. Moreover, to the extent that they ‘guilt trip’ the less experienced readers with this sort of blames, they could actually undermining the vitality of this site. ****** <P>

Without the free, open and civil interactions: authors to readers to readers to authors, this site would have never been what it is now. BTW, who in Anon’s mind stand in the face of the garden variety of the old and the new garden variety of hate writers Anon mentioned? Think my Anon friend.

Liked the story and the husband. I cant understand why some think he should have stuck around and kept setting himself up for more shit and abuse from the wife and his sister. He offered to try and rebuild their marriage once and thats once more than lots of guys would offer. She fucked up her second chance so there isnt any reason to explore the whys and wherefores imo. <p><p>

I thought the husbands reaction was believable and fairly calm/rational given the circumstances. He was a good guy but still human and thats my personal preference in fiction. I would have liked a little more follow through wrt the new woman but its not the end of the world. He had moved on and wasnt bitter or wasting away pining for his ex - almost as good as seeing him live happily ever after with a new and better partner. <p><p>

I also wondered about the extent of the sister's involvement. She seemed a bit too purposely obtuse for it to be explained away as just sticking up for a friend. Did she know everything that was happening and deliberately try to set her brother up or was she just blinded by friendship? Doesnt really matter I guess except that the brother could have told her to get stuffed before leaving if she was trying to fuck him over on purpose.<p><p>

All in all it was a very good story imo - thanks for writing.

Constructive critique which is something that you, Kolkore, do so well is one thing, but for Smy3th at the end of his critique to unjustly question the writer’s motivation for writing is an entirely different thing. [Quote]Are you a bitter victim of a cheating wife, playing out your bitterness? Why all the villainous women in the stories? What's your motivation?[/Quote] That was not constructive critique.

accident. Woman is a liar and a cheat end of problem. Question leaving child with a lying adulterous spouse, she is not a role model for a child to grow up under and in the story she has more than enough mental problems to warrent taking the child from her. Father should be more concerned for childs welfare. It is obvious in the story that the sister is an enabler of the cheating wife.

Shame she did not have loyalty to her brother.

I liked this story. I never did get a real good handle on the wife. Her character has some serious flaws. I think the husband had no choice except to be rid of her.

This was very well written, with a sad, but believable, ending. I liked the fact that you had him struggle with the trust issue most of all, that he felt rage but acted like most would, and that in the end, love her or not, he took the action he needed to in order to move on. I thought that Allison being called was a nice touch, but that him being beat half to death did not flow in the story. You avoided violence and then this, which felt like an add on to appease those who are not satisfied unless someone gets put in the hospital.

your story make common sense now.before your story were just words and trying to be sexual,but make no sense.the last few stories you wrote about real feeling people have when cheated on and the payback they want when hurt.keep going that way.

thought the ending was realistic.

Obviously it's quite subjective but in the end he couldn't drug her (or whatever) if she wasn't there.

I have to say that's about how I would react. (No need to kill her and go to prison ... just get on with my life. It's like being in the army or going to the dentist ... eventually it will be over.)

Interesting story - I enjoyed reading it.

Regards, Jack

Donna's actions are very typical. According to Barish, a woman's social worker, 60% of women cheat and 90% feel "justified." Certainly, a woman alone for a long time has more sexual energy going nowhere and therefore more probability of extramarital affairs. I know VERY PERSONALLY of a woman whose husband was away for a long time and he understood this, giving his ok to her one-night stands, if the need should arise. (It did.)

As far as Donna's behavior was concerned, if the initial meeting with Jerry had no sexual "tension," why did she need to have Bobby baby-sat at all? The BBQ location was just a step away and dinner could readily be shared with the kid, no? That, even before the lies to Kathy were needed. As for the second meeting, if no sexual contact was desired, even more reason to take the kid or a friend, don't you think?

If it were you and you went too far the first time, do you think that you will be able to rise above the temptation the next? If a slime ball threatens to squeal, what about the counter of exposing him to his wife?

Anyway, I have also become disgusted and divorced because of the manipulations of a spouse. It was only much later that I had significant evidence that the manipulations were covering infidelity.

A partnership is exactly that and when your partner has interests with others that trump yours, it's time to dissolve the partnership.

Smy3th is apparently a woman's libber, with an agenda. Did he or she not pick up on the blame attributed to Jerry? This is not a hatchet job on a poor innocent wife; it is an indictment on two cheaters. No faithful wife, whose husband is working out of town, would willingly join a husband, whose wife is out of town. The cheating would be an obvious conclusion!

Great read, although the ending was ambiguous at best. Those who have decried the husband's not letting the wife explain (let's see, for the 3rd time at least) how many strikes does this woman get? She knew what was going to happen when she went back to Jerry's house the 2nd time, & then accepted a glass of wine from him; give me a break. She was not an innocent victim, at least not the 2nd time, or even the 3rd time. And when she lied to husband about the kiss at the mall; nah, he's done the right thing, got out of her life, and moved on. She's going to do it again, even when she got him back (sorta) she still had to lie when offered the opportunity to do so. The story does cry out for another chapter about where he goes from here, or maybe Kathy's take on what Donna does after the fact.

She went back a second time, nothing condemns her more than that. Sex was on her mind and alcohol was a device to make her betrayal easier to accomplish.

or, at least it is unfinished. Did the sister know? I would enjoy more on the story, what more went on(enough was enough to not take her back again) but the possibilities for a good story are there to continue. Good writting, I read the rest of your stories now.

Thanks

or, at least it is unfinished. Did the sister know? I would enjoy more on the story, what more went on(enough was enough to not take her back again) but the possibilities for a good story are there to continue. Good writting, I'll read the rest of your stories now.

Thanks

unless you call the tale of a selfish dumb ass bastard like Huge as a story. First the dumb ass bastard let Jerry off scott free. he could have easily gone up and caught them in bed. Even if he had not beat jerry he could have let him know how he felt. I think that Like the writer that Hugh was a person that refuses to meet things head on. He then trys to set him up with another woman...can't be for our hero to be all alone. He doesn't even give Donna a chance to say why she was with Jerry and the man that took the pictures admitted that he lost them. It don't do any good to tell you how much of a failure of a writer you are.Marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

Stupid ending. Leaving it up in the air is just frustrating. Should be some reconcilation to the story. Better luck next time with your stories!!!

of problem solving. I am amused at the people who think there was no ending. It clearly said in the story that he had signed all the papers and the divorce would go thru anyway without it signature, it would just take longer. That folks is an ending and the sister knew he was leaving for good. And it was evident he was going to Seattle to see the "other woman". Thete was one statement in the story that really worked against reconciliation in this story, and if taken as real in any adulterous situation. "that she loves you, and that she would never do anything like this to hurt you again." Is that because she loved you so much she went out and had sex with a man twice to hurt you. She went to a man's home to have dinner with him, when her husband and his wife were both away. She said it didnt seem right and was talked into it. Might we ask if it was just a dinner invite why not take the child with her? Drinking in a house with a man after he has put his hand on your ass and you had to tell him to remove it? When she was necking and giving blow jobs and getting oral, she wasnt to out of it to say no, or not know what was happening. She herself said she said no but did not force it, and that she did the blow job to keep him from keeping asking. Ah yes betrayal and adultry just to keep a man from asking you for sex. When he supposedly got her over the second time for sex, she knew she was going to have sex, why else would she go back, and then drink again? You know if she had really been forced the first time, the blackmail would not have worked and she would have immediately told her husband instead of having an IQ of about 50. He knew things she didnt know he knew, that she drove straight to the mall and parked near Jerry. That they had kissed and she had followed him out in the cars. Yep, you can trust a liar and a cheater but your have to be very stupid to do it. A person who cheats or puts themselves in a position to be "seduced" has a personality defect that makes them who they are. Nothing in this story indicated the wife had really had a personality change and he was smart enough to realize that. In my opinion, he wanted the hurt over and was in to much of a story to forgive and forget. Myself, I have never understood, why the victim has to be more than the guilty and just forgive and forget. Or is it the victim has to stay a victim and be stupid to know they are just setting themselves up for the next scene? Anyway I enjoyed a well written story of a man who lives well despite a lying cheating slut exwife. A shame the boy had to suffer for the mothers actions but then women who act this way usually dont really care for their offspring that much anyway, if they did they wouldnt subject them to these types of events.

Kathy's knowledge or ignorance of Donna's affair is irrelevant. Family comes first. Kathy's loyalty to Donna was greater than her loyalty to brother Hugh. Hugh did the right thing by kicking both women to the curb and leaving.

I liked the story and the ending seemed fine to me. Keep writing the good stuff. PAPATOAD

This is an excellent story with details provided and a very good plot. However, somehow, I get that feeling it's a story that is unfinished. Why this is so, I am uncertain. Maybe it's because I am thinking beyond the ending to what is to happen in Seattle with Hugh's coming possible relationship with his new lady friend met in Alaska.

How can these guys claim there was no ending? Haven't they any imagination at all in their heads?

It must have been so tempting to get them together again, but you stuck to it, and he left.

You certainly do have a winnng formular here!

I laugh at these guys who write about someone leaving and not talking, yet in their stories they all come back until something else happen if she screw around face her and get it over with. This makes a foolish statement and aman who can't face life.

Great, but needs a sequel.Maybe Donna "point-of-view" what happened, years later.

Your characters seemed pretty real and your story really held my interest almost like I was there. I think if you just added a little more detail of the surrounding settings it would help draw the reader in a little more. For example, Hugh sat high in the cab of his crane looking over the frozen yard while simultaneously working the foot pedals and levers to make the giant boom appear almost alive as he smoothly loaded the twenty foot pipes on the flatbed. I can't write as smooth as you do but you get the idea. I noticed a lot of readers wanting you to write more (to finish it). That's a good sign that you're drawing them in and they want to continue experiencing Hugh's life. After all isn't that the goal of the author to provide a little escapism to allow the reader to experience operating a crane in Alaska while sitting at their computer. From the comments, I would say you succeeded. The crowd is crying for more, more, WE WANT MORE! Thanks Jake I wish I had your talent

Story had potential but followed the Literotica wronged husband formula of the guy running away and not talking, as if that was an acceptable reaction. It's not only cowardly for the character but cowardly and unimaginative from the writer. There are way too many jumps in the story action with no transitions to explain what's happening. Ended up reading like random thoughts pounded out on the keyboard. What's with extending work for two more weeks at the end of the story then having husband just show up at the sister's? Way too much filler material that has nothing to do with the main story, and it doesn't contribute to a subplot. Author seems to just be an angry man who needs more maturity to understand and write about strong emotions.

Sometimes the pain is to much, the trust gone and it's pointless to go on. Donna did what she did, he found out, she felt bad but she did it again. If she was really interested in saving her marriage and she really was druged she would have at least told Jerrys wife and let him know she would call the police if Jerry bothered her, but she didn't. She lied for whatever reason and ended her marriage on her own. Would love a follow up story cause the writing is so good, Thanks.

I sure didnt.I moved my ex in with her sister and never talked to her again .Its been 15 yearish since i last spoke with her.What would be the point?

piss pure ending!

MMMM I dont see what he needed to say . She new she was wrong end of story. !) years after I walk out on my wife. HER sis ran into me and asked me why I never spoke to my wife. I ASKED HER IS THERE ANY PART OF WHAT SHE WAS DOING THAT WAS RT. WAS THERE ANY PART SHE THOUGHT WAS OK FOR A MARRIED WOMAN TO DO.She knew all the answers so what was there to talk about I sure wasnt taking her back.Speaking to her would have giving her hope and there was none.1 time maybe repeat over and over no way .

Having served as in the army in both the Miliatry Police and Intelligence branches for more than 20 years I don't get the hang the bitch high crowd without knowing the entire facts crowd. Where Jerry is concerned he would have been take care of that first night I caught them and if I found out about the date rape drug and it was actually rape I'd killled the son of a bitch. Where Donna is concerned, I would have to know the entire3 facts before I said one word about action. If it were rape nothing to forgive, if she had been seduced and I made the choice to stay with retribution would be had most likely knowing me it be with the woman that probably hurt her worse, yes I will admit I would be beyound here if I were Hugh in fucking her best friend and my sister Kathy right in front of her the same number of times she had fucked Jerry. But my whole point is I would have know the entire story cause of two reason one I'd beat a confession out of Jerry and two if Donna was telling the truth I doubt she would hold much back other than maybe the shit that she would think might hurt my ego.

You need to finish this story. You just left it hanging

Story writing is much easier when you create a close-minded main character. HE does not want the facts, so it is not necessary to finish the story. Not having to attend to all the details and answer all the remaining questions makes writing an ending (?) easy, doesn't it?

Thank you for a great read. I really enjoyed the detail and development. I just felt the ending was too sudden; it didn't seem to continue the detailed character development you used that built up to the sudden end. But I still enjoyed it.

The victim here took the high road. There was no reason to even talk to the cheating bitch.

She should have never spoken to her lover again let alone let him in her car!!!

She clearly had done this many times and was only sorry she had gotten caught!!!

The union details are very accurate made the story very believable!!!

I would have asked frank to tail them more, and confirm that there was a another encounter. Franks photo's did seem incriminating, and Donna did know that she was still on a very short leash. She should have living as if Hugh had hired a decective and watch her, so with a second e-mail came on the same day, if she was innocent, she should have come clean immediatly.

Despite the above comment, I liked the story. I haven't read anything this writer has done that I didn't like. I' ve actually read it at least three or four times in the last several years. There's something about it....I tend to like reconciliation stories and I want to hope that the writer might eventually write a follow that would do that. On the other hand, you can't argue with a man's conviction that he's just lost trust in his wife and will never get it back. I think what makes the story so unsatisfying is that while it looks like she's cheated on him in more than physical ways, it's never clear exactly what happened. Or why. Usually a story will give a resolution, or tell a counter story from the wife's perspective that will answer the question of exactly what happened. But this story doesn't. There are a lot of indications, but no certain answers. It's a lot like real life in that respect. Most of the times in our lives or those of our friends, we never know and never CAN know the exact facts of what happened. But that's what we read fiction for. In fiction, in stories, life is clean and clear cut and the mysteries are explained. Maybe this story was just a little TOO true to life. But, I liked it.