Siblings with Benefits Ch. 22

"But it's as my brother Mark. I mean we're everything to each other, you know it's like I said before, we love like family but fuck like lovers, right?"

Mark looked into my eyes for a minute and I could see he was confused, but he nodded and said;

"Right. I was just," He shrugged. "Trying to be good to you sis. You say you always wanted someone to be that way with you and..."

I leaned over and kissed him.

"And I appreciate it little brother, I really do but," I swallowed hard hoping I could get the next part out without breaking. "That's the one thing you can't give me, Mark that's not what we are to each other, I'll have to find that when I'm ready, just like you had it with Krissy, I'll have it someday too no?"

Mark smiled.

"Yeah," He agreed. "You will sis, you'll find someone to treat you the way you deserve."

"We both will." I told him. Then hugging him pulled away and giving him a big smile that I hoped looked sincere said;

"Now I don't know about you but I'm tired, so why don't we cuddle up for the first time in your nice new bed and get some sleep?"

The smile Mark returned told me that he would be okay, that he understood. Hell maybe there wasn't anything on his end, maybe he was just trying to give me what I needed. The only thing I would know for sure is that I would never know. I untied and removed my shoes and we slid under the covers. As always I lied on my side and Mark curled up behind me, his arm around my waist and his face nuzzled into my neck.

"Sweet dreams my sister." Mark whispered in my ear.

"Good night my beautiful little brother." I replied softly then added; "I'm proud of you Mark, I really am."

Within minutes Mark's breathing became slower and deeper and I knew he was asleep. I closed my eyes but couldn't drift off, instead I felt them fill up with tears. Despite the fact that Mark was next to me I felt alone. My brother was the only one I felt right with and I would be seeing less and less of him, first the apartment, eventually other girls; Mark was going to move on and leave me behind.

I laid there for awhile, then opening my eyes saw the bottle of champagne on the nightstand. After a couple of minutes I slid away from Mark and started to get up.

'You okay sis?" He asked.

"Yeah little brother, I'm fine, just have use the bathroom."

"Oh okay," He said, closing his eyes.

I reached out and gently stroked his cheek. Mark smiled and nuzzled deeper into the pillow. I continued to caress his face and in less than a minute he was asleep again. I stood up and grabbing the half empty bottle of champagne went into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me I put on the light and putting the seat down, sat on the edge of the toilet. Putting the bottle down I put my head in my hands and started to cry.

All I wanted was someone I could be comfortable with, to be good to, whom I could let be good to me. Someone who would understand what I had gone through and how it affected me, who knew I was broken, but would love and want me anyways. Someone whose arms I could fall asleep and feel safe in. That's what I had wanted and I had found him, but in a cruel twist of fate the one person who was perfect for me was the one person I could never have.

I stopped crying and lifting my head up, I picked up the bottle of champagne and started to bring it to my lips. Seeing myself in the mirror I paused and lifting the bottle towards my reflection bitterly toasted what could never be.