Sign of the Times

That was big defeat number two, but I still had her one way. Daphne still had to sleep downstairs. I had that! Yeah! Sure!

Michael finished the sleep thing off.

The girls still shared a room. I knew we'd have to build an 'add on' soon. But for the moment until Brandy started her 'girl thing' even though we were running out of time we were still OK. Michael, being the only boy had a room of his own. For sure, back before the Holiday Inn Daphne and I slept together; since the Holiday Inn Daphne was downstairs alone, and I was upstairs alone. I hated it, but it was part of the price I was willing to pay to show Daphne how unhappy I was with what she'd done. Yeah I was showing her; that was some shit.

That was something that really bothered me. Hillary and I both assumed Daphne and Ralph had been up to something at the Holiday Inn, but other than me seeing the two of them leave the room I had no proof of anything. The lawyer said that. Daphne neither denied nor admitted anything, in fact on the few occasions when I brought it up she just clammed up. Ralph had said he'd be willing to see me, but I wasn't sure how I'd handle that.

I was pretty sure Daphne had been unfaithful. I just didn't know how far she'd gone. She never said anything that would have let me off the hook, but then I'm sure she knew there wasn't anything she could say that would let me off the hook. So I lay in bed alone night after unhappy lonely night all angry, horny, and feeling sorry for myself.

Like I said Michael broke everything wide open. One night; it was right after school had let out, Michael came to my bedroom door. He timidly asked, "Where's mommy?"

Damn it he knew where mommy was. I told him, "You know where mommy is. What do you want?"

I could hear he was close to tears, "I need mommy."

I said, "I'm here; what do you need mommy for?

He said, "I just need mommy."

I answered, "OK, you want me to take you downstairs to see her?"

I heard the telltale sniffle, "Yes."

"All right," I said. I got out of bed, slipped on my robe, took his hand, and walked him down to the cellar to see Daphne.

Daphne was still up and awake. I checked her digital clock. It was 1:00 a.m., way too late for her, and damn it I had to get up soon for work!

She heard us and turned on her bed lamp. Michael dropped my hand and ran to Daphne, "Mommy I'm afraid!"

I stood there like an asshole. He's afraid and needs mommy? Wasn't daddy good enough?

Daphne wrapped him in her arms. God she looked great. She had on a shorty nighty set; sure it was flannel, but wow! I could clearly see her crease, and only a couple of the buttons up at the top part of the nighty were done. Her boobs were pushing out at the fabric. I could see her nipples! I felt my 'fella' rouse up. I knew there'd be no sleep for me tonight. She wiped his tearstained face with her hand, "What's wrong precious?"

Jesus, she used to call me precious!

Michael stammered, "I'm afraid, I think I saw a ghost in my room."

I yelled out, "What?"

Daphne held up her right hand to stop me, "I'll take care of it. You go back to bed."

The next morning we had it out. It was a French toast morning, and the kids all had breakfast even if it was summer vacation. Daphne had her routines. I glowered across the table at Michael, "Michael there are no ghosts in this house."

He went over and nestled down in Daphne's lap, "Are to."

I was befuddled, "Michael you weren't even born when we moved here. We met the people who sold us our house."

He clung to Daphne, "I don't care. I saw one. Timmy at the playground said all our houses were built on a cemetery. He said he saw it in a movie," then he wrapped his arms around Daphne's neck.

I tried to be reasonable, "Mike trust me there aren't any ghosts. Timmy just saw a movie."

He pushed in closer to my wife. She brushed his head and kissed his cheek, "It's all right. Daddy's telling the truth. There aren't any ghosts."

He said, "But I saw..."

Daphne kissed him again, "Look sweetie if you think you see something wake daddy and he'll walk you down to me."

That's when the hammer finally came down. Michael looked at his mom and murmured, "If you were upstairs you'd be right across the hall. I could get in bed with you."

I was undone, and I knew it. Either I went downstairs and slept in the cellar or Daphne was back upstairs in bed with me. I got up and slipped into my sport jacket, "Daphne you handle this while I'm at work."

She handled it; she sure did. Around 10:30 that morning I got a call. Daphne had moved all her stuff back in her old closet. Until Michael overcame his fear of ghosts she'd be back in bed with me. I agreed; one thing was for sure, I wasn't sleeping in the cellar.

When I got home that night Daphne had made her special meatloaf; one of my all-time favorites.

Well I made up my mind. We might be in the same house. I might swallow my pride. I might have to submerge my very righteous anger. We might even share the same bed, but I was not, I was not I say, going to surrender to my beastly lust. She'd betrayed me! She'd been unfaithful! I'd gone the extra mile! I hadn't chased after a divorce! I hadn't deliberately gone astray and found other women to use to get even. Tell the truth I never even thought of it.

Hell, hadn't I been a good father? I'd held the family together; I'd provided a safe haven, a happy home for my three kids! I wasn't going to give in on this last thing. I was, of course, wrong.

How did she do it? How was she able to push me over the last cliff? God she was good. God it was too easy.

That's another thing. I'm a Presbyterian. God is supposed to be a man. Shouldn't he have been on my side?

How did it happen? I guess it had been about two weeks since she moved back in bed with me. For two weeks, two sleepless weeks, I rolled over. I tossed and turned. I pretended to sleep. I pretended she wasn't there. For two God blessed weeks. Was I ever a fool; it wouldn't be in the bed where she'd get me.

It was a Friday night. She'd fixed broiled salmon with her special Hollandaise sauce. I loved that stuff. She had my favorite little redskin potatoes, and string beans cooked with almonds. For dessert she'd bought a big cheese cake. With the cheese cake she brewed a special pot of coffee with those extra tasty and extra expensive ultra Dunkin Donuts coffee beans that she ground up herself. Stomach be damned; I enjoyed myself!

After dinner she somehow got all the kids to bed a little earlier than normal. Geena was in on that. I was sitting in the living room. As was my custom on Friday nights, I'd just showered. I was in an old white Tee shirt and a pair of very old and very comfortable togs. Sex was the last thing on my mind.

Down she came; she was wearing one of her shorty pajama sets, in fact before the Holiday Inn it had been my favorite. It was a creamy color, translucent, and lightweight, the kind that flowed around when she walked.

There was no foreplay, no discussion, no attempt at persuasion. She just slipped over, and in one swift swoop she pulled my togs down around my ankles and dropped her fanny right in my lap. Her hands were around my neck and her lips were on mine before I could mount any kind of defense. I was a goner!

Three seconds later I had her pajama bottoms off and I was inside her. I couldn't move. I put my arms over her shoulders while she slowly slid up and down; me inside and her squeezing her legs together on the outside. Anyone who's a man knows how that feels. She backed her head away maybe four inches and sheepishly smiled at me while she continued her seduction.

I was a total mess! I pulled her in close and kissed the living shit right out of her. I, of course, successfully, or unsuccessfully as it were, after about her fifth stroke ejaculated way up inside her. It was awful! It was wonderful.

With that first big explosion over, I stood up pulling her up with me; I lifted her in my arms and carried her off to bed. The rest, well the rest was just magnificent until I completely ruined everything all over again.

So it looked like it was over, all over, well almost. There was that one nagging oppressive question, why?

We were lying there together, side by side, I on my right side her on her left. It was warm; the sheet was crumpled at the foot of the bed. We were both completely undressed. We were both warm and dry except for...well... There in the soft afterglow of sex and some wonderfully fulfilling long missed affection we were still gently touching, rubbing, and smoothing our hands over one another.

Occasionally one of us learned forward and we shared another languid kiss. This was what Daphne always called our kissy cuddly time. I have to admit the old joke about the perfect wife who turns into a six pack of beer after sex never made it with me. I was just as crazy about the after sex cuddling as she was.

So I ruined it. I softly asked, "Why? Why Daphne? Why'd you do it?

I watched as a dreary sadness overwhelmed her. She rolled away from me, "It was nothing Cale. There was nothing. Nothing happened that mattered?"

I pulled her back over so she had to look at me. I kept it cool and quiet; the kids were in the next rooms, I said, "Don't do this. You have to talk to me. I need to know."

She tried to pull away again, but I wouldn't let her, through her emerging tears she responded, "I can't. I was in a bad place. It's something that happened that I can't tell you. It's about something you wouldn't like, and I don't think you could understand."

I forgot the kids. I leaned up, "Jesus Daphne! Give me a fucking chance! Let me decide!"

Daphne jumped out of my arms. She leaped to the floor, and ran downstairs. I heard her crying as she fled all the way back down to the cellar.

I could hear Brandy and Michael; they heard us, well heard me, they both started crying.

Geena came to the door, "Daddy?"

I knew then what I had to do. It was time; it was finally time for me to pay Mr. Ralph Stevens a visit.

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Part Three: The Shit Finally Hits the fan!

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I got up and off the next morning before breakfast. I was in no mood to see or talk to Daphne until I found out, till I found out once and for all what had happened. It was clear now, after what she said the night before there was something more than just chance fornication.

My wife and Ralph were more than just adulterers. I had to find out. I pulled away from the house, and found Ginger's number again. No I was no fool; the last time when Hillary had looked it up in Daphne's household directory I'd made a copy and logged it in my cell phone. I found the number and hit the appropriate button. About three seconds later Ginger made a pick up. I said, "Hello is this Ralph's ex-wife Ginger?"

She replied, "Yeah, but we're back together again."

"Ginger this is Cale, Daphne's husband. I need to see Ralph," I couldn't bring myself to estranged husband.

There was some hesitation; my guess was he was there, and she was conveying my message. I was right. He got on the phone, "Hello Cale?"

"Yeah it's Cale. I need to see you."

There was more talking in the background on the other end. He got back on, "You won't hit me or anything?"

Damn, Ralph was a cool four inches taller, he worked out regularly, he was probably ninety-five percent muscle. Me hit him? I answered, "No I won't hit you."

He responded, "How about tonight at the Wagon Wheel, say 7:00 p.m.?"

I asked, "You can't make it sooner?"

His reply, "Come on Cale."

"OK then," I added, "I'll see you there; just you and me."

He hesitated, "I don't want any trouble Cale."

I replied, "No trouble," 'for shit's sake,' I thought, 'Ralph works for the ATF, he's a field agent whatever that is, he probably has to deal with all sorts of ruffians. Me, I'm a damn pencil necked numbers cruncher.'

Just as I was about to close my phone I got a text message. I hate text messages! I checked it anyway; it was my dad, it said he needs to see me. This was crazy! My dad doesn't text. I called him back, "Dad?"

He was wheezing really badly, "Cale I've got something for you. I've been dishonest with you, but Daphne called and she really is at the end of her rope. I wished now I'd done this before, long before."

"What is it," I asked?

"Just come over; it's something from Chris, and I've been sitting on it for a long time."

'Wow', I thought, 'something from Chris, finally!' I closed my phone and drove straight to my parents. When I got there I was crushed; dad looked like he was about ready to pass on.

Dad said, "Sit down. I've got something I've been hiding from you."

"What is it dad?"

He was real shaky; he pointed to a chair in the kitchen. We both walked in, me upright in good health, him a tottering old man. My mom was in the kitchen. She had big wet red eyes; I knew she'd been crying. She took a seat too.

Mom spoke to me first, "I don't know son. After today I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive us."

I was looking from my mom to my dad, "OK, what is it?"

Dad spoke, "It's about your brother. He can't come. In fact he never could."

"Why? What's the matter?"

"Chris has been in prison son. He's been there for years, and son, he'll never get out."

My stomach! Oh no not now!

Dad proceeded, "About two years ago he sent me and your mom a letter, part of it was for you. We read what he wrote you, and decided never to give it to you. It's...it's just not something we thought you needed to know."

I was stricken; my big brother, my hero in prison? My parents had a letter from him and part of it was for me, and they've kept it from me for what for years? I asked, "Where is it? I want to see it."

Dad held up a piece of paper; the cheap scratchy yellowish paper elementary schools used. He held it for what seemed like a long time, "Please son...Cale?"

I held out my hand, "Give me the letter dad."

He held it a little longer, "I'm sorry son. We never meant for you to ever see this, but now...with Daphne," he handed it over.

I held it for a second; a letter from my brother. I unfolded it and started to read.

It was written in pencil. It was all crimped up; not like his handwriting at all, but I recognized the way the capital letters were made, this was his. There were smudge marks all over it. It read,

"Dear Cale:

I hope and pray you and your family are well. I have some things I need to say. Before you start let me say how sorry I am. I've been a liar and cheat all my life. I'm in prison and I know I will never get out. I know it sounds crazy but I'm part of a prison gang. It's been the only way I've been able to stay alive. I'm in prison for armed robbery and felony murder. Yeah a child got killed while the police were trying to apprehend me. I've been in for six years. I have another fourteen to serve, but I know I'll never get out. I'll end up killing somebody in here. Cale you're the good son. I'm no good. When I was in high school remember I got a free pass to go to Penn States based on my SATs. Well I never took them. I paid a kid who looked a lot like me to take them in my place. My grades were his. That's how I got in. Of course, once I was in I couldn't keep up. You remember? I told everybody I was bored so I dropped out. I dropped out before they kicked me out. That was bad but it gets worse. Remember I said I dropped out to join the army. I did join the army. I didn't fit in. I couldn't take the discipline; imagine me an Eagle Scout too. I'd changed a lot. I got in a lot of trouble. The man in charge of the records, a warrant officer, offered me a general discharge if I voluntarily left; otherwise I'd get a dishonorable discharge. Well I took it. Then I sort of just drifted from town to town, stealing, and hurting people. Cale forgive me. Please forgive me. Here's the worst of it. It's about Daphne. You remember how I left just before you two got married. You remember how I said it was because of a big job opportunity in Texas. Well I lied. I just couldn't stay. I couldn't stay and look at you. Here's why. Cale please forgive me for this. Don't ask me how, but I found out somewhere along the line Daphne only wanted you. When she was dating me she was only interested in you. Later she told me why. I'll come to that. What's important is this. Remember how popular she was when everybody was running around. I mean she wasn't the prettiest one, or the smartest one, but she sure was the nicest one. Guys really liked her. You know that, and you know why too. She was always special. You remember how the guys used to chase after her. She had dates like crazy. But you know what; though she was good company, good to be with, she was a totally good girl. Some girls can pull it off. They date all around, they can be warm and friendly and still hold on to their goodness. That was Daphne. Guys used to mention her, but no one ever trashed her, and you know why? Everybody just really liked her. She was just that sweet. Nobody seriously tried to take advantage of her for just that reason. There are girls like that. You're one lucky guy. That was my problem. For a while I thought she was hot for me; then I found out. She only pretended to like me; she liked my little brother. She liked you! She chose you over me! She chose you over everybody! Why did she do that? For a while I thought she was crazy, but just before you two got married she told me. She's not stupid; she's smart. Guys are assholes. Guys are all always just about themselves; that is all but a few. Some guys are just naturally generous, upright, fair, and good humored. Those are her words not mine. Throw in intelligent and honest and guess who you've got. You've got you! Daphne's smart. She noticed you. She started to eye you up. She said you were so selfless you didn't even see it. Christ Cale she dated every friend you had. You know why? She was trying get close to you. She was trying to figure you out. When she did figure you out, well, you know how that went. Cale here's the shitty part, I got jealous. I got so jealous of you. Sure I was everybody's dreamboat, but I knew who I really was I was the phony, the fraud. You were the real thing. Daphne saw it; then she started to not like me. I think she got scared I'd mess things up between the two of you. Cale I'm sorry. I got mad. I got so mad I decided to get even. One night just before you and she were to get married I talked her into going with me to a private spot where we could talk; you might know it, the place up by the lake. She trusted me. She never believed I would do anything to hurt you or her. She was wrong. I got her out by the lake and I abused her. Cale I raped your future wife. I raped Daphne. When I wronged her; I wronged a virgin. Cale Daphne was a virgin and I raped her. I was a mean bastard. Cale I raped her and then I threw her out of the car and left her up there by the lake. I never went back to mom and dads. I just hid out in town. I was such a coward. I couldn't face what I'd done. Cale I'm so sorry. I got to her the next morning and promised I would never say anything if she promised to be quiet too. She was so stricken she would have agreed to anything. You know what she was afraid of? She was afraid you wouldn't love her anymore if you found out. I asked her how she got home. She told me a friend of yours, a guy named Ralph found her on the highway. He took her to a motel and cleaned her up. He never took advantage of her; he just cleaned her up and tried to calm her down. I don't even know if that guy is still alive. I know he was your friend because of what he did for Daphne. Cale I'm sorry. I know you can never forgive me. I'm just such a worthless piece of shit. Daphne was such a good girl. I shamed her. Like I said I promised to never say anything. She promised she would never say anything either. Cale I couldn't keep quiet. I lied before. I won't get out. I have a disease. I'm going to die in here. I'm going to die in a place where the only thing that changes is the date on the calendar. I'm sorry, but I'm paying for what I did. I guess I'm sorry I wrote you this letter. But before I died I had to confess. Once you read it, throw it away, burn it, never ever let Daphne know I told you any of this. She was more afraid that you'd be angry at her than in finding out about what a monster I am. She didn't want you to know what I did to her; she wanted you to always think of me as a hero. I guess she just wanted to protect you. Be good to her Cale. Be good to mom and dad. They know everything. Never try to find me. I'm so sorry. Maybe I'll be dead by the time you get this. I hope so. Good bye.