Sign of the Times

Your worthless no good brother,

Chris."

I read it, and I read it again. I was just so numb. My brother, Chris; I couldn't find the words. I looked at mom and dad "Why? Why now?"

Dad handed me a form letter, "Chris died about a year ago. He died in prison, He's buried there. We were never going to tell you."

Mom spoke to me, "We got scared when Daphne called us this morning. She doesn't know we know anything, but she's really scared she's going to lose you. She's afraid son. Cale we know her. You know her. She's never going to tell you any of this. She thinks she's still protecting you. She loves you that much."

I read the brief memo from Leavenworth and handed it back to my dad. I looked at my watch. I still had several hours before I was supposed to see Ralph. I took Chris's letter. I walked over to my parents' oven; it was a gas oven. I turned on the front burner and set the damn thing on fire. I looked at my mom and dad, "Does Hillary know?"

Mom wasn't crying but her eyes were red, "No, she doesn't know."

I let the letter burn to a crisp. I took the remaining shards to their sink, and washed the ashes down the drain. I looked back at my mom and dad, "This thing, this thing here; it's gone. Never mention it, not to anyone. Never let Daphne know that I know. It's over, over forever."

My mom asked, "What are you going to do son?"

I looked at my mom and dad, then at my watch, "First mom, dad I want you to know that I love you. You've been protecting me and my family for a long time. What am I going to do? What am I to do? I'm saddened I guess, but I know why you did it. I promise; I'll never let you down."

I sighed and thought, 'Now what am I going to about Daphne?' I looked back at my mom and dad. I told them, "I have a date to see Ralph Stevens. I'm sure he's the Ralph Chris mentioned. We have some old and new business to clear up. Then I'm going home. I have a wife who loves me and who I love," I almost started to cry but stopped. I never knew how much and how deeply she loved me. I never realized how much I loved her.

I looked back at mom and dad, "I have a really special wife. I have three wonderful kids. I have a home. I'm going to be the best husband, the best father, and the best brother and the best son I can be. That's all I can do."

Mom did start to cry then. Dad just sat there.

I left, got in my truck and just drove. I drove all over. I drove out by the lake. I drove by the same places where Geena and I had been a few weeks before. How many times had Daphne and I and the kids been there? I couldn't count the times. How many times had she sat around on the grass and remembered; remembered what had to be the worst night of her life. She never told me. She never said anything. What a horrible thing she'd had happen to her, and she never told me. What a horrible secret she'd kept all these years. I knew we'd never go back there. I thought about Ralph. I wondered what was going on with him and Daphne. One thing for sure; I knew it couldn't be adultery.

I thought about Daphne's activities before we got together. All the guys she dated and none of them ever touched her. If my brother hadn't hurt her she would have been a virgin on our wedding night. Oh no, to me she was a virgin.

About 6:30 p.m. I started toward the Wagon Wheel. I got there a little early and went inside. Ralph was already there. He was in a booth and he looked scared. I walked over and sat down across from him.

He started, "Cale I..."

I stopped him, "Ralph I know about my brother. I know what he did. I found out just today. I heard what you did for Daphne all those years ago. Jesus Ralph you were a true friend. But Ralph you have to tell me what you and Daphne were doing at the Holiday Inn?"

"Cale," I could see he was close to just getting up and running out the door.

"Just tell me Ralph."

Cale me and Ginger, Ginger and I we've been having some trouble. I've been, well, I've been stupid, I got an STD."

I leaned back and thought, 'that's no surprise.'

"Ginger, she got it from me. Cale I work for the ATF. I did something really stupid. I was on the job, and I caught a woman getting into some really bad shit. She and I made a deal. I'm a rat. I'd done it before. I thought I could get away with it again."

I could see he was nervous as hell; he went on, "Cale I could go to jail for what I did. Instead of just money I traded sex for the information I had on this woman. Oh I got money from her too, but the problem is...she's a madam. I didn't screw her. As part of the deal I screwed several of her girls. That's how I got sick. When I went back to the madam she showed me she had me on tape, I was fucked, or at least I thought I was. Since then she's been blackmailing me, but that's the least of it. There's Ginger. I needed an alibi. Well no, I needed a woman who'd stand up and say to Ginger I gave Ralph the STD."

I watched as he started to shake.

"Cale," he said, "who was there? There was nobody. I wasn't thinking straight. Hell I wasn't thinking at all! Then I thought of Daphne. I was scared. I wasn't in my right mind. I called her. We met a couple times. I tried to talk her into something bad. I tried to get her to tell Ginger I got the problem from her. Our last conversation was at the Holiday Inn. I don't know why we agreed to meet there. I know now how stupid it was. We never thought...I never thought you'd...we.

Cale I was desperate. I love my wife. Cale you have three kids. I can't have kids. Ginger always wanted some, but she loved me, she still does, she stayed with me, a barren man, a worthless man."

I asked, "What did Daphne say?"

"Cale she was almost ready to lie for me. She felt that indebted. Then I blew it. I made a suggestion; no it was a threat, no really just stupid remark. I told her I was glad she would because if I didn't get her help I'd have tell you about...well.

Cale she didn't like that. I'd pushed her too far. She just went sort of like blank. She didn't get mad she just...well I can't explain it. It was like she'd been covering everything up in her mind for so long that... Look Cale I was scared that I might have pushed her too far, and then she just picked up her purse and walked out of the room.

Cale all these years...after all these years and I got stupid. I think I really messed her up. Cale I'm afraid. What if I...? When she walked out; I guess that's when you saw her."

I steepled my hands trying to hide my panic, "So..."

"Cale that's a hell of a woman you've got there. She really loves you. I overstepped. I don't think she was ever really going to lie for me. I think she was trying to help me figure a way to... you know. Now I think I've fucked her up. Daphne and I; well she's had this secret for so long."

I asked, "And Ginger?"

"I came clean. I told her the truth. No not about Chris, just about how I got sick. Ginger doesn't know about your brother. She took me back. I said we could find some anonymous sperm donor. She went along. Cale I'm so lucky. Somehow my marriage is saved. But Cale please tell me I haven't ruined yours. I don't think I could live with that."

I breathed a sigh. I don't know if was relief or just fatigue, "Ralph you know we can never be friends again after this. We can never have anything to do with each other. I don't want Daphne exposed to anymore of this. And Ralph I'm pissed at you for trying to take advantage of my wife now, but I'll be forever grateful for what you did all those years ago."

I held out my hand. He held out his. I said, "Good bye Ralph. I hope it works out for you and Ginger."

He stood up, "I'm sorry Cale. I hope you can patch things up...maybe someday."

I looked back, "No, I'm sorry."

He looked really sad when we left.

After that we both walked out, each of us going our separate ways. I went back to my pick-up. I had some decisions to make. First, how was I going to square this with Daphne? Then, how was I going to be able to show her for the rest of my life just how much I valued her, and how deeply I loved her. I knew I had to start that right away.

I felt so humble; I never quite knew she loved me that much. I made a promise to myself, a solemn vow. Daphne would never know that I knew what happened. Then there was the other thing; possibly the biggest thing. How badly had this current problem with Ralph damaged her? The horror she'd experienced had been moribund for fourteen years, maybe if we left it alone... I didn't know. I knew I had to take care of her. Yeah, I'd be protecting her from now on. I would too. I'd need to see someone myself first. Yes, I'll get counseling so that I'd be better able to protect and care for her. She'll never know that.

I thought about our situation, our lives together. Daphne was a girl who could have gone to an Ivy League college. She had the whole world at her feet. For some reason I'll never understand she threw all that away...she threw it away for me. She married down. I wasn't good enough for her then. I've never been good enough.

Then to make things worse my brother hurt her. After that she took it upon herself to protect me from the truth; the truth about my brother. I can't imagine the suffering she's endured, the emotional anguish. Hell, we might have taken the kids and picnicked at the very site where my brother destroyed her. It's so awful I can't even say what he did. I can't even say the word! I don't even want to think about it!

Chris is dead. I'm glad he's dead. If I never hear his name again it'll be too soon.

About Daphne; I know I'm not good enough. I've never been good enough. I have to start making myself worthy. I have to start now, tonight. I have to start showing her how much I love her, how much I value her. She has to see how important she is to me. She needs to see it every day...every single day for the rest of our lives!

I drove over to the jewelry store on the main drag. It was close to 9:00 p.m. but I figured I could just make it. I did.

I went in and first I bought her another big vase. This time I thought to myself we're putting the damn thing out on the coffee table. I don't care what she says about that; the new vase was going on display. Hell, in a day or two I'll bring it back and have something inscribed on it, something nice, something about love. I'll get Geena to help me come up with a phrase, something from a poem.

Then I walked over to the jewelry counters. Pearls no, diamonds got em, gold bracelets, got a million of em. Aha! Just the thing! I found a beautiful pendant; it was littered with tiny hunks of those black diamonds and garnet. Garnet is Daphne's birthstone. The pendant had an odd shape; kind of a cross with a circle or something. I'd seen it around but didn't recognize it, but I knew Daphne would.

I asked the lady helping me if this was something that could like stand for eternal love; she smiled and said yes. I got that and a nice gold chain to hook it to. I got them to wrap everything up. By the time I was finished I saw it was 9:35. I looked around and saw the salespeople were a little put off. Well tough shit! They didn't know who this was for. Daphne was worth it, worth every penny, and certainly worth every minute.

I got back in my truck and drove on home. I pulled in the driveway a little after 10:30 p.m. I figured the kids would be in bed so I was careful when I opened the front door. I was wrong.

I opened and walked in the door and the kids were in my face. Brandy yelled back toward the kitchen, "Mom dad's home!"

Daphne came out. Of course she looked absolutely gorgeous! Oh one more thing. I'd stopped at the grocery store and bought about $40.00 worth of those flowers they have out by the fruits and vegetables. I bought all the flowers I could manage under one arm. I knew they weren't the best, but they were the best I could find on such short notice.

Daphne had a real worried look on her face at first, but she saw me fumbling around with the damn flowers. Man her eyes lit up! She started toward me.

Michael yelled, "What's in the box? What's in the box?"

He was looking at the long box that held the vase. I leaned down, "It's something for the coffee table."

I gave Daphne a meaningful look, "I'm having something inscribed on what's inside this box and we're putting out for everyone to see." I added just to make sure she understood, "It's a vase, and I want everybody to read what I have put on it so they'll know exactly how much I love you."

I turned to Geena, "You can help me choose what to put."

Her grin covered her entire face.

Daphne wasn't real sure about the vase, but then I handed her the small box, "Here," I said, "this is for you too," I was sort of self-conscious and I think I was a little too gruff when I said it.

She took it. She had a bemused look.

Geena yelled, "Open it mom!" Brenda repeated her sister's declamation.

Daphne fiddled with the wrappings until she finally got it open. She opened the jewelry container. She looked up at me at me. I expected tears or maybe she'd rush in my arms crying telling me how much she loved me. Not her, she held it out, "How nice, an ankh."

I stood there like a fool, confused. I said, "It means eternal love. That's what the saleslady said."

Daphne looked at it again, laughed and threw herself in my arms, "Well I guess it does now!"

The kids all started jumping around and yelling. Michael started yelling, "Let's stay up late and watch a movie!"

Daphne dropped him, "Not a chance Mister. You guys are going to bed!"

Then Geena stepped up to the plate. She eyeballed her siblings, "Come on you two. Mom and dad have things they need to do."

Michael yelled, "Like what?"

Brandy glanced back at the two of us and then she shushed him, "When you're older."

I had to laugh. Daphne laughed too. Then we held each other close and kissed, and then we kissed again.

++++++++++

But I wasn't through!

I took my sweetheart by the shoulders and held her, "Daphne I need to say some things. I..."

She interrupted me, "Oh let it wait Cale. I was afraid you'd be late so I made some homemade macaroni and cheese; it's still warm under foil on top of the stove."

"But honey, sweetie, I have to..."

She grabbed my left hand with her right, "Tell me in the kitchen while I make you a plate. I bet you haven't eaten all day. I called..."

I pulled her back and tried to hug her, "Daphne this is..."

She kept tugging, "I know, important, but you need to eat something. I called the doctor's office today too. I got their answering service. They called out..."

"Wait a minute love munchkin I need to tell..."

She kept dragging me to the kitchen, "I know you love me. I love you too," she kept dragging me, "like I said I called the doctor. From now on you take your Prevacid in the morning like normal, but they've added a Prilosec for you in the evening..."

I tried to stop her, "Daphne..."

She had me in the kitchen where she pushed me in a chair, "Eat something first," she pulled a plate out of the cupboard, lifted the foil off the still warm macaroni and cheese, scooped some on the plate and slid it over to me while she got a fork, "there you eat while I talk."

I gave up. I started to scarf up the mac and cheese. I didn't realize how hungry I was.

Daphne kept talking the whole time, "I may have stepped out of line today, but I called Mr. Slater," Slater's my boss, "I told him I was worried about you. You know what? He agreed. He said he thought you'd been working too hard, you'd been putting in too many hours without any help," I started to say something but she pushed a glass of milk in front of me, "here drink this. Don't get mad Cale. He wants to assign an assistant, some girl who can help you out part time."

I stopped eating, "Wait a minute Daphne, you shouldn't..."

Interrupted again I had to listen, "Guess what! We already found someone! Me!"

I was floored, "What? You?"

She replied, "It makes good sense. I already left my job. You're an analyst. I worked for a bank. We can work together, side by side. Besides I know our finances, and if I had a part time job things will be so much easier, what with the new things coming up. Of course, we'll drive back and forth separately. I'll have to leave early to be home for the kids, but otherwise..."

New things, I wondered what that meant? I got up, pushed the dishes aside, and lifted her on the kitchen tale, "Now I want to say something."

She tried to interrupt, "But I..."

"I said shut up! Now listen," I started to unbutton her blouse, "I need to tell you about how I feel," she started to open her mouth but I stopped her with a kiss, "now Daphne about the Holiday Inn," I saw her face begin to pale so I took my left hand and put my index finger on her chin and my thumb on her lips to keep her quiet, "I'm sorry I ever brought it up. Like you said it was nothing."

She looked frightened.

"Listen up now. I was crazy to even think you'd be dishonest," I didn't say unfaithful, "I want you to know it was stupid of me," I had her blouse off and was undoing her bra, "you're a good girl, a great wife, a wonderful mother so forget the Holiday Inn ever happened," the bra was off and I had her breasts in my hands, "I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you."

I kissed her again, "I adore you," It was working I could see I was getting the doe eyed look, "I only have one regret."

She looked a little alarmed.

"I'm thirty-six. I might only have maybe another forty or fifty years to show you how much I love you," I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck, "I'm going to need more time," I started to carry her out of the kitchen, but...

She opened her mouth, "Cale what are you doing?"

I told her, "I'm going to take you upstairs, and we're going to make mad passionate love..."

She started to squirm, "Wait, let me wrap the macaroni and put it in the refrigerator before..."

I kissed her mouth shut, "We'll get it later," I proceeded to carry her upstairs to our bedroom where I planned to have a lot of very vanilla sex with my wife. Yes, I intended get between her legs, lie on top of her, and look at her beautiful face the whole time we did it. Then I thought we might go to the bathroom and I could sit her on the basin and look at her adorable face while we did again there. After that we'd probably take a shower. If I still had it in me I'd stand her up in the running shower and look into those big beautiful brown eyes while we did it some more. Then we'd get out and towel each other off. I'd probably want to carry her back into bed where we could do the cuddly kissy thing.

Was I a wimp? Yeah I guess so. Was I hen pecked? Wouldn't have it any other way! Was I the luckiest, happiest, dipshit, pencil necked, pussy whipped asshole in town? You bet! They even wrote a song about me. I'm the '1432 Cracker box Circle Hero'! Don't believe me? Look it up on the Net!

The End.

++++++++++

Of course there's got to be an epilogue.

Later that evening Daphne and I lay quietly in our bed. She had her head on my chest while I had my arms around her. I felt really warm and comfortable. I felt sore too, and I knew why.

Daphne kissed my very modestly hairy chest, "Cale."

"Yeah Daphne?"

"You know I'll be home most of the time now."

"Yeah."

Michael's getting pretty old."

"Uh huh."

"I'm almost thirty-seven."

"I Know."

"It's still not too late."

I rubbed her cheek, "Too late for what honey?"

"We could, you know..."

I got suspicious, "We could what?"

"You know I mentioned the new thing? Well we always talked about having a bigger family."

Oh shit, I leaned back, "Hey wait a minute."

She leaned forward and tried to kiss me, "One more?"

I felt a chill go up my spine; my bowels turned to ice, my voice got a little louder, no a lot louder, "You want another one! Are you crazy? Why..."