All Comments on 'Sister Loves Marine Brother, A Lot Ch. 02'

What happened to the first baby? What happened when their mother found out? Why did you leave such a gap in the story? These unanswered questions ruined what should have been a excellent story

I can tell you have never been a Marine. Get you facts straight about the Marine Corps if you are going to be a Marine wanna be.

I agree with the statements. Because of that, I have to rate it even lower. Dealing with it later, even the next chapter, is too late.

As others have pointed out there are too many big gaping holes in this story. I mean c'mon - he's hanging up the phone while she considers the pregnancy and next he's getting off the plane 4 years later?

when did the mom die??? and the baby, too much gapping

TOO BAD. It could have been a good story. I do think you will improve with experience, but you should avoid story lines containing topics, about which you apparently know so little.

an awful lot missing between chapter one and two needed a chapter inbetween the two also why did he wait two years after the moms death to come home he could have got a hardship discharge inorder to take care of his sister keep it atleast sounding realistic

I agree with everyone about the " holes " in the story . but it was a decent read. as a marine myself i knew right away that the author wasnt a marine but thats ok , just next time do a little research.

no offense to ur story it was an interesting attempt. i liked the reviews better lol

Whatever happened to the baby from story 1?

Also, just so you know, there is no such thing as a Sgt First Class in the Marine Corps.

You need to get your military facts straight no sgt first class in the marines. If he was wearing alphas then he would of been wearing an olive drab coat dress blues is a navy blue coat.

But Sgt. 1st class is the Canadian girlfriend of marine ranks.

Sgt first class is army as are dress blues

What happen too the first baby they didn't. Say any thing about it what happen to it

Come on, guys, give this young author a break. Okay, gaps, but still a good story. I like that he stuck his big Marine prick up his pregnant sister's cunt, nudging his tiny baby, like saying, "hello, kid, it's your daddy." I trust James'll fuck lots more babies up his kid sister's cunt, from his potent balls to his sis's fertile womb, cute little incest kids swarming all over the place.

You could wrap up a lot of loose ends by writing a follow-up chapter. Tell what happened to Baby No. 1 and talk of the arrival of Baby No. 2. Give the now more mature James some hair for that muscular chest, and tell us about the pubes, the long sexual escapades for these two lovers.

It was good and I really liked it, but he went from a Marine Staff Sgt to a Sgt First Class, that is an Army rank.....nothing serious just saying....

Proof read, please. I don't think their tongues danced "in between" their mouths. There are big gaps in the story. Are pregnancy tests accurate after just 2 weeks? Consistency is important. I don't want to discourage you, so keep writing. Sometimes if you put a story aside for a few weeks and then read it through you can see it fresh and make improvements. I hope you keep at it - it's not easy.

Liked it, but if you are going to write a story and it is the above title, than make sure you have the military part right. If he is a Marine than keep him as such. Do NOT make him a "Sergeant First Class" and say "soldier". One it is confusing and takes away from the story. Second, there is a HUGE difference between the Marine Corps and Army and as a writer who puts his stuff out in public, you should have done your research. Nice story and yes I am a retired Marine.

I like both Ch.'s, but it would have been better if you had wrote what she did the last time she was pregnant, and not just skipped 4 year's, or at least put a line or something to let everyone know when the year skip was...

so what happen to the first baby?

to the first pregnancy? we did not get to read about that or what happened when mom found out. Is that what caused her death?

Nothing in this story made any sense whatsoever. There is no Sergeant first class in the Marine Corps. Pregnant then two years pass, mom dies pregnant again? Horrible

Loved it

Pregnant than mom dies 2 years ago and a total of 4 yrs have passed. No one has had sex in between that time “this might hurt”. The girl from high school is wearing the same outfit and happens to just be at same restaurant 4 years later. I can use my imagination to fill in the blanks but this is suppose to be a story? The only thing I can say to the positive is that it started off well with Mom asking son to take out trash after that this story took a left turn and never came back. I apologize but the sister wanting to give brother a sexual reward after not seeing him for 6 yrs? Really!! As well he is on leave. You do know most Military service give soldiers 30 days/year for leave to be taken during units down time and not necessarily all at once. But he couldn’t make it home in 6 yrs? Was he in a cave the entire time? This was bad. No research in simple things and skipping major points to make it a fluid story. Just bad! If I were you and I’m not;I would take this down and do a rewrite. This really was not a project that anyone would want anyone to read and comment on; it’s just awful.

Chap 2 Seriously! The words haven’t changed from 1 to 2. I forgot to mention in my other comment that wearing a dead ladies dress is definitely not sexy. This is an old story from the date 2009 but it’s a bad one for sure.

She said she hasn’t had good sex since their first night together. Does that mean that the sex they had after that first night was bad?

The timeline was off, but the story was still good, but it needed another chapter to give it a proper end.

For starters there is no rank called Sergeant First Class in my beloved Marine Corps, there is a First Sergeant but since our MC was only a Staff Sergeant in chapter 1 and staff NCOs are promoted by congress, the chances of him attaining that rank is 0%. Secondly had he made that rank he would have stayed and retired not left on his own. Several other skips in the story made it hard to follow in the second chapter, the first was better.

There isn't a sergeant first class in the marines it's impossible to even reach the rank that's close to it and anyone who stays in long enough to even reach close to the closest rank of what you are trying to push has already decided on and signed up to make it a career also the time span in this story is too short to make such a rank for its the highest rank 1 can receive as non commissioned officer there is to reach it you need 8 years tis which means time in service and 4 years tig which means time in grade in your current rank before you can be considered for the rank more often than not 1 does not get the promotion when they first become eligible cause first Sgt shares the same pay grade as a master Sgt which is a e8 I was in the marines and the highest I made it was gunny Sgt which has a pay grade e7 if that gives you any idea how tough it can be