by Fukai_Ai
reading when sis said "you are going to do what you are told". He's a simp….
What there was of this story was good.
You needed to keep going.
Where you ended things felt rushed and incomplete, especially based on the tags for the story.
Get an editor and try again, you can do better.
Oh please, total bloody rubbish waste of digital space.
ignore all kiss ass reviews they are meaningless listen only to the complaints. if you listen to kiss asses you will keep posting unreadable trash. if you listen to the complainers will either improve or stop writing but either would be an improvment at this point.
Needs character development and closure. Keep trying. You'll get better.
It left me wanting more. I thought it was very erotic and was about to..... but it ended before I began. Keep on writing new chapters please! I want to know!
Hey, Fai.
I know you've heard this many times, and probably stopped reading your comments. But you need an editor. Perhaps even someone to give you advice on where the story should go from the start. How things should play out. Your main issue, which stops me from reading is grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I won't say you're horrible, because you might not even know the English language that well. I just want to let you know, that getting an editor, and advice giver on stories before posting them would probably bring your ratings way up. Don't listen to the Anon's telling you that you're a horrible writer. You're doing okay, just keep working at it.
As for all the people hiding behind Anonymous tags, why don't you come out and play? Where is your story, that is so much better than his? Don't judge someone's skills by a few pieces of work. Van Gough wasn't famous when he started painting. He was hated by his town. He was the local drunk, that everyone thought was crazy. But many, many years later, he was one of the greatest artists that ever lived. So, are you really going to sit there, and type hate filled Anonymous messages, about someones work when you can't even post your own? Good luck with that.
There's my 2 cents worth. And I know I am no major author, and my writing does suck. So that rating doesn't mean much, but it could still go up with a little work.
~ Final
I agree with Chrissr just practice and you'll get better :)
So is her choice of punishment to turn him into a cross-dresser or to drive the kid crazy with frustration by ordering him to share her bed?
It's amazing how rude people are when they hide behind "Anonymous"
Not everyone is going to like it. Listen to those that take the time to post constructive advice and just ignore the rest.
Keep writing, it will get better with practice.
Just stop writing..... because if you don't, everyone will have to pluck their eyeballs out.
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