All Comments on 'Sixteen Past Nine and Forty Six Seconds'

I'm annoyed by this, and I suspect you know why.

You can generally tell the difference between a good story and a great one by how sad you are that it is over. The tone of this is that of a one off, but should you wish to expand the story into a series, I would love to read it.

I didn't feel any attraction whatsoever, but overall, it had an excellent and completely possible plot.

We probably already have the technology to store semen and distribute it through in-vitro fertilization that would make the harvesting facilities not really necessary. Even if we suspend disbelief and stipulate that that is what the world has come to, it's hard (for me, at least) to put myself in Miriam's place. "Maybe it's time that we all go extinct and the world starts over," she thinks. I wonder if we'd really dismiss the future of humanity so blithely,

I'd say this story does belong in sci/fi rather than first time. The main thrust of the story is the sci/fi stuff. Miriam isn't a virgin, and the story doesn't really focus on her thoughts and feelings on relinquishing her virginity, the way a first-time story should.

Thank you for sharing this one. You certainly wrote more arousing stories before but I liked this one not less. It raises questions which are hard to answer and again you revealed your deep thoughts. Great storytelling, I loved to read it.

Truly a fiver in my opinion.

I really enjoyed the whole premise of this one, LaRascasse. Great background. The actual sex was a little short and quick for moi but you know me. LOL. I can see why it's in SF tho, it's a very SF-y setting, rather more so than First Time. I think to make it fit first time you'd really have to play up the "first time" for Miriam rather more than you did, and make that the major emphasis of the story. Right now, the background, which is totally fascinating, dominates the actual sex. Love the way you tell the story.