All Comments on 'Skinny Dipping with the Newnans'

You need to proofread your submissions or have them proofread.

In two paragraphs you call the girl Lisa, in the rest of the story she is Linda. You made some bad spelling mistakes, one that stood out is genes, when you meant clothing which of course is spellled jeans, there are more like this. Oh yes, on the way from the car to the theatre you see her braless breasts bounce and her nipples drag along the fabric, on the way out she wears a parka.

I know it is a fantasy, but you must try to make it at least sound like a true story. Be consistent.

Didn't make any sense to this country boy. You are writing as to make the reader become part of the story. Make me visualize that I am there. I am reading this story to get my rocks off and it takes more story time on a subject. When you write about a fantasy give me the details don't start a subject and end it with we fuck all day long. HORSESHIT!!! Get with the program.

Someone better call Social Services.

Your story is all fucked up. Sometimes she is Lisa, other times she is Linda. Proof-reading is highly desirable, it is obvious you wrote this without it and probably let your dick head dictate what was written. She met you at the theater, and then you fucked her all night? She must have had some kind of weird parental control, and she was "country" and you were some kind of beach hippie? Were you on 'grass', LSD, Cocaine, when you wrote this?

Reading this was a serious chore. Learn to write and get a proofer. Come back again in a year when you understand what writing a story is about.

u fuckin suck never write again asshole

very hot! Loved it! Kindof fast paced, could have been a little longer, but very good. How about a Ch 2?

This is a very sad story and I think it is f**ked up!!!

Linda or Lisa?