by slavecynthia
Overall I liked this post. It was a nice little one-shot to get the mind going.
Having said this, there are a LOT of repeated words... and it made it more difficult to really become lost in her story.
My advice: find some synonyms that feel right to you and swap a few of them out with said repeated words. You'll be amazed at how it can change the entire tone of the piece !! :)