All Comments on 'So Close There Had to be Sex'

This, when expanded would be a deliteful little movie....needs some editing on spelling and structure, ie you use me when it should be my. but that can be fixed. good plot sexy (did I mention that it is very sexy) great characterization. very believable. There is more in this I believe so write it mate...ph yeah your name ahhh I guess thats up to you....but...davideismyname@yahoo.com

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I found your flair for the ironic to be intriguing and enjoyed your subtle humor.

Rodin kept loving his sister for 6 years, calling her the love of his life. She comes too see him after 6 years and decides she won't be his wife but will marry someone else. How weird is that, was her brother's love invisible to her, she would rather cheat on her husband and have sex with her brother than be with him ? And Rodin has nothing to say about his feelings to his sister. Your story makes little sense.

i agree w/ that. there shoulda been a bettr ending lyk them 2gether and him telling her his feelings. plus she shouldve known seein his "mia shrine" or watevr, pissd it didnt end bettr and mad i spent tym on this!!!!! this 1 fell a little short and skippd a bit and seemd 2 b lackin certain details throughout the story.

My initial reaction to this story is that it had a good premise and the plot was pretty good. However, it seems like a bit of a rush job. It reads like someone skimming over the details and summarizing everything that happens, especially the sex scenes. I think that this would make a very good story if it were expanded to be several chapters the length of this one.

I would also like to make a short comment on the previous commenter, though I usually try not to. If you wish to criticize the writing abilities of another, I suggest you first attempt to learn basic spelling and sentence structure. Otherwise, people will read your post in the voice of a backwater redneck and summarily dismiss anything you say, regardless of any intellectual merit it may posess.

My friend, it is readily apparent that you are in possession of such superior intellect that you "zoom" so quickly over the heads of most of your readers that they are, for the most part, totally oblivious to your having passed through. Thank you for an outstanding story. I always enjoy your work.

The story title is...well, not descriptive in the least. The sex between the main characters, Rodin Link (Archer) and his half-sister Mia Charlotte Link, was never consummated--their only sexual encounters (maybe a half dozen times at best) was a brief mention of Mia's tits (or boobs or breasts), and him ejaculating over her frontal torso.

Just to discover the name of the star character I had to read the first half page of Page 1 to discover his name as being Rodin--and any of the character's identification and/or any relationship involvements was maze-like and even zanier and crazy!

Every other sentence was a maze of misused, maligned words and incomplete thoughts; one needs an enigma machine to decipher scenes, character intentions and their thought processes. The context and theme of the story could have been good had the writing, details, inneuendo and faux sex scenes/acts been written with some feelings from the characters. All interactions between characters is icily detailed; in fact there is never any compassion between the siblings Rodin and Mia! There is limited conversations, over many years, between Rodin and Mia, but their relationship was more akin to them flirting with a fish in an aquarium!

This is not literary (although EG is obviously sitting there preening as though it is), there are gaping plot holes, and a load of disposable word-brush instead of anything resembling proper story development; the author obviously feels he's too good to descend to the plane of us mere mortals and actually tell the fucking story, preferring instead to wind in and out of the plot holes as though it's some kind of literary device, and so we have this pointless bucket of dilute anus-leakage instead. No stars, there's nothing here to award a star to.

Sadly this was horrid and depressing. From start to finish it all felt very mechanical and fake. No emotions or passion was felt by thine-self whilst I read these words. Everything was cold and articulate and the writing was without a doubt self doubting and confused in its own meaning. I feel as though the author just tossed all their thoughts, opinions, and ideas on to a paper without any critical thinking. This story would be much better with some emotion invoking writing, and more focused plot/point and "rolling out" the depth of the story rather then just throwing all that background at us on the first page. The siblings bond felt fake, this whole story seemed very lackluster and fake. So very different from the multitude of other stories I have read on this site. The only thing achieved by my time reading this was an intensive birthing of malice cupped emotions for such a disgusting and despicable mother, and the raging sorrows of the poor man who married such a cold bitch. I would call her a cunt, but she lacks the depth and warmth.

P.S. to whom it may concern I by no means am saying I would do better or are a better writer I am simply expressing my thoughts and feelings after reading and reviewing the above story. If this offends you that is unfortunate and now you must move on. There is no time to dally waddle here.

But a disappointingly abrupt ending.

It needs another chapter on their adventures in England.

dull and very long winded for little result