All Comments on 'Something Borrowed, Something Blue'

There are no people in this who I would consider to have any redeeming virtues at all.

never the less i enjoyed it

Yes, it was a bit predictable, but I liked the way in which you pulled off the denouement. The last line's very good. :)

Brava!

If I boil it down to it's basics:

- She cheats on him

- She decides after she cheats that maybe they need some time apart to explore if they should marry (after she cheats first)

- She finds out he cheated, with her best friend

- She calls off the wedding and she says after she finds out that "I looked at him in disgust." and comments how her own cheating helped her see that he wasn't the right man for her.

- She feels vidicated that she doesn't have to marry him and calls the other man to try and get together with him.

And this is a "good" story?

Aside from the stroking, it's plainly about a selfish person that is running roughshod over someone else, all while trying to claim the high moral ground for doing the exact same thing.

Sorry, I didn't see it as a good story, it always bugs me to read stories about hypocritical people. And this one does qualify as one.

=(

-Risq

stories is that, as Risq and others have said, they're most written for "stroke", so, being so short, even good authors either don't have space/time or need to develop witty dialogues; they all resort to cliche formulas

even if both people cheat --- each one NOT only not wanting the other to know but intending on NOT telling them --- exceptional authors can get out of the cliche formulas and present refreshing and intelligent dialogues for their characters and have them, for example, lay their cards on the table, as it were, and find out why they engage in these activities and move from one relationship aimlessly to another, always yearning to meet Mr. and Ms. Right but never do, etc., etc., etc.

but, again, only rarely do you see/read 2-4 page stories that are able to do that. perhaps such stories take too much thinking on the author's part and, since this is a free and rarely appreciated forums, they are not willing or able to sit down to create intelligent characters like that.

so, instead, it is the usual, "Oh, baby, baby, you are so big, you are tearing me apart,,, hurt me,,, My husband's never like this,,, I don't even suck him. Only you, baby. You are the best, the most romantic, the most deviantly delicious,,," blah, blah, blah.

You've been mentioned in the New Story Reviews in the Author's Hangout.

Yea,janie!

More!

Your writing is lovely...the story pretty dayum good...you have to write more about them...I know some readers consider Ella hypocritical and to an extent she is, but you can forgive that since her ex was cheating the entire time with her best friend...you can lose a man, but not your best friend and definately not both at the same time...so write more about Ella and Dan.

Simply beautiful. Sad, but yet hopeful. Very well done.

LeoDavis

A few writers know how to develop a story and justify its end, without undue prolonging. You are the one please continue.

Roopmati

Unlike Risq, who writes a long, boring comment - but no stories! - some of us actually try to write stories!

So, this may not be perfect, but I hope you continue to get better, as you keep on writing, Janiexx!

Power to your pen arm... ;-)

L.

I wasn't aware that ones ablity to comment was SOLELY based on how many stories one has written. Does that mean you only get to comment once then? I mean you've only written a single story. Or does writting a single story give only you the right to comment to anyone else as you see fit?

I guess I needed to write a SINGLE stroke story, like you did, and then according to you I would be able to tell the author what I didn't like in a story.

I'm so sorry that I didn't know the rules.

Thank you for setting me straight. I'll make sure in the future that I run any comments I may have past you first so that you can give me your seal of approval to make sure that you agree with my comments.

I mean, you know, since you've written a SINGLE story in the last month in all.

Glad I have you around to set me straight.

-Risq

PS: If an author only wants to hear how great a story is, they should put that at the top of the story. That way everyone understands that they expect to only hear the good.

It must mean I'm doing my "job" well by stirring up so many emotions...

But I welcome all feedback, good and bad, and have the power to delete any comments I feel are nasty...

But all those on here are staying...

janiexx ;)

PS - Risq - would like to have replied to your comments but you don't accept anonymous feedback. Why is that I wonder??

I liked everything about it. It was well written and had characters I cared about. I was really rooting for Ella to dump Steve so it was an added bonus that it ended up that way.

Thank you for taking the time and effort to write this and post it

Well Janie, yet another fine story just long enough to fully exploit your clever plot idea. It is very difficult to find fault in this fine tale so I won’t! Criticism is often helpful so just don't let the sometimes cruel remarks put you off. Pete.

The story was ok on the sex scenes and very weak on the plot and the characters. As to the attack on Risq’s comments, it does not make any sense. Have you ever complained about the quality of your public transportation system or (you chose) the electric system which serves your house? Well, if you have, how dare you? Do you have a clue in operating and maintaining these delicate and wonderful service systems which you so carelessly enjoy all the time? Moving on, have you ever seen a movie which you did not like? well how dare you? Have you first written; acted; directed and produced a film your self? Only then (according to your thinking) it would be possible to say: ‘oh maybe I should have seen the other movie'. Think it over. But even if the criticism did have some face value, it is simply not true! Risq’s comments are never boring! Can’t you realize a talent when you see it? Your comment (and mine) are the living proof that he is not boring. Didn’t you realize it when you wrote your comment?

Isn’t commenting also a sort of writing? Isn’t it up to the commenter to prove his/her intelligence creativity/humor if and when they comment, or for that matter, demonstrate their talents in whatever they choose to do? Fiction writing is not the only Pantheon of talent, you know. Doesn’t Risq analyze when he explains his ‘vote’ for each story? OK , some times it does not need explaining, like when he wrote a recent hilariously funny short comment to JUST PLAIN BOB”S story (as a punishment I will not tell you which one it was!).

Many times I read stories only after I read Risq’s and few others selected reviewers. They save me a lot of time (and frequently – agony), and I trust their judgment. Writers as Janiexx should be well advised to listen to experienced commenters such as RISQ, even if the tone or the wording could have been mellower at times. My two cents – look at the substance, not at the adjectives of the reviews. Good luck author in your next submission.

good one nonetheless. I’m sorry for commenting so late, but have been out of town for a couple of weeks.

To me there was one big difference in the characters of Ella and Steve. The difference was not only in how they ‘cheated’ but also in how they planned to handle it.

Ella’s affair was an unplanned spontaneous event based on her failure to admit to herself the fact that she knew her planned marriage was a sham. Steve and Ella’s love for each other was over, she just finally owned up to it.

I’m not making excuses for her actions, I fully agree that she should have told Steve first, but she did go straight to his house upon returning to inform him of her decision.

Steve on the other hand apparently preplanned and arranged his affair in advance with no plans to inform Ella of the fact. Ella felt guilt while all Steve felt was Susie.

It was apparent that Ella’s anger stemmed not from Steve’s cheating because she enjoyed catching him screwing her best friend. No her anger came from the knowledge that Steve had preplanned his affair and didn’t intend to tell her.

The only conclusion is that Steve is a perpetual cheat and liar, after marrying Ella it is apparent that he planned to continue. As I said, a good story and I remain a fan always.

and was surprised at the variety of comments. i see a difference between ella's and steve's 'cheating,' but regardless, this is a story. it doesn't have to be so black and white, morally. i thought it was written quite well. anyway, that's two cents from another literotica reader!

thanks,

tara

Not your best, but well written and interesting nontheless. Such a hot babe, Janie, to be wondering over a cup of coffee what his face looks like when he comes inside you! love that roll down to France for cheaper booze!

One would think that you would not have to deal with limp dick morons and moral pygmies lilke Risq when Ella wasn't even married and this is not listed in "Loving Wives." These commenters contribute nothing to Literotica whatsoever. Their inablility to control their ex-wives and girlfriends or to have meaningful relationships with women is of no import to readers who are here to be aroused. Perhaps they should critique the Old Testament, while explaining to their pastor why they spend all their time reading smut!

A cheating fiance, a chance encounter with a handsome stranger; an exciting, erotic story with a nice twist at the end. Lovingly told and oh so sexy!