All Comments on 'Something is Going On'

This could be the beginning of a cool little series. You write convincingly....keep going!!

Hi sack.

I think that most of it was pretty good. The main issue I had was with the dialogue. It could use some editing and revisions, but the story itself is good. Keep trying.

Other than that, it was an amazing story. The only thing is that some of the sentences were a bit confusing, missed some details that would have been nice. And you mentioned the name Jill once?

Anyways, I understood the storyline, it was well though out. Very good story.