Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux

* * * * *

Smythe caught me as I was leaving my office at a quarter till ten to again ask if I was sure everything was set up properly for lunch at noon. I had never seen him so nervous before. He must really want this account. I assured him everything would be just fine and hurried out the door. I had something a lot more important to think about, mainly an hour of lust with Jim.

I arrived at the suite first so I patiently sat at the small desk in front of the door. Hearing his key in the lock, I stepped to the door and grabbed him around the waist as he entered. I planted my tongue in his mouth and started hunching his leg. Damn, but I was burning up between my legs. We both proved we were capable of multi-tasking. We continued to kiss as he managed to somehow kick the door closed behind him as we started removing one another's clothes. Our lips never separated.

Jim picked me up and carried me to the bedroom as soon as we were naked. He literally tossed me on the bed and plunged tongue first into my very wet pussy. I was gasping in orgasmic bliss less than two minutes later. He didn't wait for me to finish but crawled up and impaled himself in me while I was still at my peak. That just drove me higher as I wrapped my legs around him and hung on for dear life. Sparks were dancing up and down my spine and that warm fuzzy feeling between my legs was radiating up through my body directly to my nipples. I felt Jim erupt deep within me and the room started spinning. The next thing I knew, Jim was gently stroking my forehead, asking if I was alright.

With lust out of the way, we spent the next forty minutes making slow, gentle, passionate love. We showered together, me wearing a plastic shower cap to preserve what was left of my hairdo. It didn't take Jim long to dress but I took my time and carefully dressed in front of him for the second time today. He does, at times, know exactly what to say to me to make my heart sing with joy.

"Janice, I reviewed the credit card receipts yesterday evening. That new outfit you surprised me with today is worth every penny you spent. You really make it look good. I think you should go shopping with Abby and Beth again and find some more just like it, only in different colors."

That was so like him. He noted the purchase date and remembered who I was with when I bought it.

"Thanks, Honey, I love you too."

If that damn lunch wasn't so important today, I know we would have spent another hour making a bigger mess of the sheets. We took time for a long lingering kiss and hurried out the door.

* * * * *

I made it back to my office with plenty of time to spare. The hotel where we kept the suite was blessed with one of the premier places in town to eat. I made a last minute call to confirm the reservations and was hanging up the phone as Mr. Smythe walked in.

"Janice, I need to see you in my office for a few minutes; come with me."

He was sweating again and his voice had a quiver to it that I didn't like. I noticed his hands were shaking and he was walking almost like a robot. Locking the door behind us, he started speaking immediately.

"Plans have changed. Things have changed. I think Mr. Wilder may be backing out on our deal. The bank needs this account in the worst way. To put it bluntly, he wants some time alone with you or he will take his business elsewhere. I can't let that happen. You have to agree to this."

I was floored. I couldn't believe my ears. This had never happened before. Sweat was dripping off the end of his nose and making a mess of his red power-tie. His lower lip was quivering and he almost missed his oversized, over stuffed executive chair when he sat down. I just stood there, astonished. They say, at the instant of death, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Well, I wasn't dying, but I could just as well have been. I was so confused, so shocked, I couldn't speak.

"Here's what's going to happen, Janice. We will all have lunch together. Everyone will leave when it's over but, you and Mr. Wilder will remain behind to go over some minor details. You will do what ever is necessary to make sure his money comes to this bank. Do you understand?"

I staggered to the plush leather couch across from his desk and sat down. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This shouldn't be happening. This had never happened before. Sure, in the past, before Jim, introductions would be made. If I chose to date the man, fine; if not, that was okay too. If I managed to secure the customer's business, great. I would be appropriately rewarded. The decision was always left to me. Now, I wasn't being given a choice. This time, I was being told what was expected. No, I couldn't do this. It was too much to ask. He knew what my marriage to Jim meant to me.

"No, I'm sorry, Mr. Smythe; that part of my life is over. I can't do it. I have a husband now and I refuse to entertain customers anymore. You'll just have to think of something else."

"Janice, this is what Mr. Wilder wants. You will do it. You don't have a choice."

"Yes, I do have a choice. I'll quit."

"No, you won't. If you think as much of your marriage as you claim to, you'll take very good care of Mr. Wilder. As a matter of fact, you will take care of anyone else I tell you to. Like it or not, I own you. Deal with it any way you want, just get the job done."

"Hey, wait a minute here! What the hell is this about you owning me? Just who the hell do you think you are?"

He spun the flat-screen monitor around to face me, opened a file and leaned back in his chair, smugly looking at me. His manner had changed. He was no longer sweating or showing any other sign of nervousness. Evidently, having finally made up his mind to do this, he was calm and self-assured.

The file came up and my heart stopped. Thumbnails, dozens of thumbnails, of me! They appeared, page after page, as he slowly scrolled down the screen. Pictures of me with clients at the suite. He started enlarging them, one after the other, filling the screen with evidence of my past life. The old life, the life I abandoned the day I met Jim. This couldn't be real. It was a nightmare. Yes, that was it. I would wake up in a little bit and Jim would be cuddling up to me and my bad dream would be over.

"Look at the pictures, Janice. Do you see any dates on them? Co-operate and you will receive a very nice bonus check. Walk out and I promise the pictures will be in your husband's hands within thirty minutes. Notice there are no face shots of any of our clients. Yours is certainly visible though. There's also a nice little two-hour video carefully edited to highlight your special talents. A letter explaining how you've been warned about fraternizing with customers will be included with the pictures. Notation of a verbal reprimand dated three years ago and a written reprimand dated six months ago was placed in your personal file this morning."

"B-But, it isn't true. Everything you have there happened before Jim and I ever met."

"So? You know that and I know that, but good luck trying to convince him of that."

"Please, don't do this to me. I'm begging you, please?"

"Look, like it or not, this has to be done. I made promises to the board of directors and I intend to keep them. Do what you're told and no one will ever know. You've got ten minutes to fix your face and then we leave for lunch. It's that or I send a certain envelope to your husband by special messenger."

He unlocked and opened the door. I don't remember walking there but the next thing I knew I was in the ladies room washing the tears from my face.

* * * * *

Walking out of the bank, the short trip in the car, sitting at the table; it was all a blur. I just couldn't process what was happening to me. I knew my husband, quite well. If he were to receive that envelope, our marriage would probably end. That was a risk I couldn't take. Seeing the pictures and video would drive a wedge between us. There was no way I could prove that those things happened before I met him. And, even if I could convince him it was all in the past, how would he feel, knowing what my life was like before I met him? No! I couldn't let that happen. He must never know.

Somehow, I had to make this go away. Time. I need time. There was no time. I could go to the police. No! It would all become evidence. Jim would see it. I might get Smythe but I would lose Jim. That can't happen. I could go to the board of directors. No. No time for that. Jim would have the envelope before I could arrange to see them. Besides, they might know and approve of what Smythe was doing. Damn it!

I felt something tapping my ankle. My eyes came into focus and Smythe was glaring at me. He nodded toward Wilder and arrogantly mouthed the word 'smile'. This was it. I had no options. Smythe had won. I looked to my right and smiled at Wilder. He smiled back, looked at Smythe and said something in a voice too low for me to hear. I picked up my fork and tried to eat. Food was the last thing on my mind but I had to at least try to act normal. The full glass of wine sitting in front of me disappeared and someone immediately filled it. A few bites of food, a glass of wine, and a smile for Wilder. By the end of the third glass, my meal was still less than half-consumed.

Smythe was looking smug, Wilder was looking victorious, and I was being molested under the table. His hand had started just above my knee and slowly worked its way up my leg, taking the hem of my skirt with it. He was unsuccessfully trying to massage me between my legs. Taking the first drink from my fourth glass of wine, I spread my knees and scooted down in the chair a couple of inches. There was no other choice, no other option.

I let my mind travel back in time, back to the old Janice. The Janice who had been in situations like this before. The Janice who could close down her feelings, separate her mind from her body and endure what was necessary. I returned to the old Janice, the Janice that existed before she changed her life for the man she loved. She knew how to deal with this. If these bastards wanted a slut, fine, I'd resurrect the old Janice to do what was required, but I damn sure didn't have to like it.

The next thing I knew, lunch was over and Wilder was closing the door of the suite behind us. The progression to the bedroom was repulsive. He would slobber in my mouth and then remove an article of clothing. Take a couple of steps, slobber, remove something. That's the way it went on our way to the bedroom. I was down to stockings and garter belt when we bumped into the bed and he was naked. He gave me a shove and I fell backwards onto the bed. With a growl of triumph, he raised my knees and spread my legs. The pressure of his tongue on my pussy extracted my first smile since this disaster started. I even had to giggle. I'm sure Wilder was proud as hell that he was able to get such a response from me so quickly. Actually, I was wondering how proud he would feel if he knew he was cleaning the remnants of Jim's cum from me. I forced myself to moan as if in orgasmic ecstasy in order to cover an outright laugh when he bragged about how wet he had made me.

My small feeling of satisfaction at his ignorance was short-lived when he scooted up and stuck his dick in me. He grabbed my feet, spread my legs as far as they would go, and started slamming his cock into me as deep as it would go. It was as if his assault was anger driven because he was hurting the hell out of me. I was moaning and telling him to fuck me but I wasn't in sexual bliss. I wanted him to finish and get out of there as soon as possible. Much more of this and I would be black and blue between my legs. I didn't think he was ever going to stop.

He suddenly withdrew and told me to get on my hands and knees. I tried to take my time but as soon as I started to roll over, he grabbed my hips, finished rolling me over, jerked my hips up and started slamming into me again. At least his pelvic bone wasn't banging into mine now. I don't know how long he lasted but I was getting dry and it was starting to get painful. He finally came and I let out a small moan because it stung so badly. The son-of-a-bitch didn't even realize I was in pain. He fell forward on me, flattening me to the bed and panting in my ear.

He started gathering up his clothes and getting dressed. When he looked questionably at me I told him I needed to rest for a few minutes. There was that arrogant smile again. I wanted to smash him in the mouth with a skillet, a hot one. I heard him open the door and leave a few minutes later.

The old Janice slowly faded away. She had performed as required and I could return her to the dark corner of my mind that hadn't been visited for over five years. I rolled over and sobbed into the pillow. I knew what I had done. I knew why I did it. I also knew this couldn't continue. In a matter of a couple of hours, I had lost what little self-respect I had managed to gain since I met Jim. He had to know, but how could I tell him without destroying our marriage? Would he believe me? Everything Smythe had, had happened before we met. Would he understand? No, he wouldn't understand. He would leave and our marriage would be over.

Smythe! He was the key. How could I deal with him? What would I have to do to convince him to get rid of all those old pictures? Oh, no! All of those pictures were taken in this room. Oh, damn! There had to be cameras in here somewhere. I bet the son-of-a-bitch had fresh pictures now. Damn it! How could I be so stupid?

I couldn't see any way out of this. It was bound to continue. It was a sure bet Wilder would want me again. He would call Smythe and Smythe would call me and I would be right back here, legs spread and waiting for the gross bastard. He wouldn't be the only one either. Now that Smythe knew he had me under his control, he would continue to use me as often as he wanted to.

That was something else I didn't understand. Why was Smythe doing this? He didn't use to be this way. What had changed to make him do this to me? Was it just me, or was he blackmailing the other two girls too? Would I dare to ask them? If it were just me, I certainly didn't want them to know about it. However, it they were being used too, could the three of us together find a way out of this?

Now that it was over, I could lie here and think rationally. I wish I would have had time to think this through before it happened. Maybe that was the plan all along. He sure waited until the last minute to spring this on me. There wasn't any reason for me to go back to work this afternoon. My signature wasn't required on any of the documents. I was just the final inducement to get the signature of someone else.

Maybe a long hot shower would help. I felt dirty. No, not dirty; I felt filthy. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the shower. I was sore and had a burning sensation between my legs. The bastard had certainly fucked me raw. I hoped he was as sore as I was. The son-of-a-bitch hadn't even had the courtesy to use a condom. That would mean a trip to the doctor for some testing. I adjusted the water as hot as I could stand it and stood under the spray for a good twenty minutes. I didn't even wear a shower cap. My hair could be repaired later, at home.

The shower helped to clear my head. Why did I still feel dirty? Well, I would have to deal with that later. It was decision time and I made one while toweling off. Jim had to know, today. All I could do was tell him and hope he would listen to the complete story before he left. There was no doubt in my mind that he would leave, but maybe he would come back after he had some time alone. It couldn't even wait until this evening. I would call him at work and have him meet me at home as soon as possible. I went into the living area and started gathering up my clothes. Where were my panties? Did that bastard take them as a souvenir?

That's when I saw them lying in the center of the table. Why would he put them there? What was that lying in the center of them? A ring! Oh, God! ... Oh, no! ... Jim's ring! ... He was ... here! ... He saw! ... My stomach, cramping. The room, spinning. I was falling, unaware of the pain of hitting the floor. Convulsions raked my body. The bitter taste of vomit in my mouth, yuck. I need air. I'm choking. I've got to breathe. And then darkness enveloped me....

The table leg slowly came into focus, then chair legs materialized. I was lying on the floor. The right side of my head was lying in something wet and squishy. Why was I here? What happened? The aroma ... that smell! I managed to get to my hands and knees. The ring ... Jim's ring ... he was here ... he saw! More convulsions raked my body, now joined by sobs and tears. My marriage was over! Jim! My Jim! I had to find him. I had to explain. He had to listen. Drops of vomit dripped from my face into the pool on the floor as I tried to stand. My hand slipped in the mess and I fell back into the bile. Damn!

The second attempt at rising was more successful. I was able to climb onto a chair. Jim's ring, gleaming at me from where it rested on a pool of pink silk triggered the process again. My forehead hit the edge of the table and I heaved as I struggled to stay in the chair. Nothing was left to come up. I don't know how long I sat there, sobs raking my body, tears falling to the floor. I managed to drag my handbag across the table and dug my cell phone out. I made three attempts, flubbing the numbers each time before I remembered Jim's cell was number one on the speed dial. He didn't answer. Speed dial number two was his office. Maggie, his secretary, answered and all she knew was that Jim had left in a hurry, mumbling something about a lost pocketknife. She promised she would tell him I called as soon as he came back. Speed dial number three was home. No answer. He wasn't there and Sue must be somewhere with Abby.

I tried Jim's cell again. He must have it turned off. I went back to the shower and washed the filth off. A few paper towels, along with another bout of dry heaves, and I managed to clean the mess from the kitchen floor. I slipped my skirt and jacket on, stuffed the rest in my leather shoulder bag and headed for home.

The house was empty. Jim wasn't there and Sue hadn't returned yet. I could still smell the stench of vomit, and Wilder, so I stripped and stepped into the shower again. I let the cleansing water flow over me until there was no hot water left. Cotton underwear, jeans and an old sleeveless sweatshirt fit the mood I was in just perfectly.

Sue didn't get home until almost dark. She found me curled up on my bed, cuddled up to the telephone. I had called Maggie and Jim's numbers every fifteen minutes until Maggie went home at five. Jim wasn't answering and Maggie said she was starting to worry about his whereabouts. She promised she would let me know as soon as she heard from him.

"Hey there, Little Sis, what's wrong?"

"He's gone, Sue."

"Gone? Why?"

"I-I screwed up. It's all m-my f-f-fault."

"Uh oh, there's only one thing that would make Jim leave. Please tell me you aren't having an affair."

"N-no, I'm not having an a-affair. It's worse. M-much worse."

"Okay, Janice. You need to talk. So come on, give. Tell Big Sis all about it."

She sat down on the bed next to me and I tried to tell her about today. That led to questions, which led to more questions and the next thing I knew, I was crying on her shoulder and telling her everything that had happened in my life since she left home all those many years ago. I told her about our father and how abusive he had turned toward our mother and me. I told her about our step-dad and how he took me sexually during my junior year of high school. It shocked her to find out that our mother had not only gone along with it but had encouraged it. This, for some reason unknown to me, led to sex with my algebra teacher. I told her I didn't know why, all I knew was that it did. Now, reflecting back, it was obvious how easy it had been to progress to sex with a few of my college professors and how they had used me. I never approached them but I didn't say no when they approached me. I made it plain to her that I also got something out of the relationships.