Splooge Countdown

"Now cut that out!" Derek commands. "You're supposed to be judging the match!"

Sarah laughs and releases Hugh from her grasp, folding her arms in front of her.

Hugh Mongus looks visibly disappointed.

"Dr. Phil has sexamined Connie and all of her pink parts and found her to be splooge free. So if we find any splooge on or in her later, we'll know where that came from, won't we David?"

David nods, his face full of awkward embarrassment.

"So, are you ready, David?"

"Ready!"

"Connie?"

"Ready!"

"Roger, Julie, I'm going to ask the two of you to take your seats in the VIP viewing booths on opposite sides of the stage."

Roger and Julie each retreat to their designated VIP viewing booths, Roger to the left, Julie on the right.

"Before we begin tonight's Splooge Countdown, let's take a brief time out for a word from our sponsor." Derek announces.

[A TV ad for "Extenze" plays out on the oversized television monitors in the studio. It is decidedly more graphic than comparable ads that play on late night TV and features a young woman using her hands, tongue and lips to coax an astonishingly thick and heavy looking piece of male equipment into an imposing tower of rigidity. While the announcer explains product's benefits and how to place an order the woman's affectionate licking, sucking and stroking have their intended effect on the enormous love muscle which blossoms to unbelievably gargantuan proportions. While the voice over urges viewers to call now to take advantage of the temporarily lowered price, the camera angle widens to reveal an older man flat on his back with his now fully engorged and imposing male appendage pointing to the ceiling as a nude, superbly sexy young woman climbs on board and slowly settles onto his impressive power tool. A look of intense satisfaction that says it all blooms upon her face as she takes his monstrosity deep into her tight young honey pot. The scene fades to black as she begins riding up and down on his colossal tower of power.]

As the TV ad comes to an end, Derek's voice rings with excited anticipation. "All right, David, please take your position in the center of the bed and say your prayers!"

"Connie, please stand inside the gold circle over here. When you hear the buzzer, get to work. We're all eager to see another no-holes barred performance like the one you turned in last week with that three-legged dude from Jamaica. You will have 20 minutes from the sound of the starting buzzer to coax the splooge out of David. If you do, you take home another $50,000. David, if you can hang on for the full 20 minutes, the $50,000 is yours and you come back next week to see if you can handle our ferociously hot next contestant from Venezuela."

David emerges from his hooded robe and positions himself in the center of the bed. Despite that he is still alone on the bed, he already has an anticipatory ¾ semi underway that seems to be rapidly blossoming into its full potential all on its own. Connie, naked as the day she was born, crouches like a sprinter at the starting block inside the gold circle painted on the stage floor a few feet from the bed.

"On your marks! Get set!"

"GO!"

A buzzer sounds and a large digital clock descends from overheard and hangs a few feet above the round bed. Connie leaps onto David mouth first and quickly has every vein in his now glistening love pole bulging with pulsating pleasure. The ponytail hairstyle was evidently a good choice as it keeps her blonde hair clear of her busy mouth.

The bed begins rotating slowly.

David appears to be concentrating on the Klieg lights overhead, trying not to become too engrossed in the pleasures afforded by Connie's expertise. He keeps his hands at his sides, palms down on the bed.

The camera pans across the studio audience. Most members are leaning forward, rapt attention on their faces. A couple of women have moved to sit in the laps of their husbands or boyfriends. One woman has opened her blouse and bra and is being caressed by her husband. Another woman is busy unzipping her boyfriend's pants and liberating his rapidly swelling baloney while the woman seated on the other side of him watches in fascination.

Derek saunters over to Julie who is standing in her VIP box and loudly exhorting David to "keep your focus! Keep your mind on work!"

"Is David going to survive Connie's tongue lashing?" Derek asks Julie. "He was nearly erect before she even touched him."

"Yeah, I was a little surprised about that," Julie deadpans, never taking her eyes off her husband spread-eagled on the bed with a naked young blonde's head bobbing up and down between his legs. "But I think he'll be fine. His stamina has improved a lot in the last six weeks while we've been training for this event."

"You've been training?" Derek asks with exaggerated surprise.

"Of course we have!" Julie responds.

"I'm sure the two of you enjoyed the training tremendously," Derek observes.

"We both did but I think it's safe to say David enjoyed it more."

"How so?"

"After about 3 weeks of training it dawned on me that what David really needed was to get used to maintaining his self-control despite the sexual excitement of being with a another woman," Julie remarks, still keeping her eyes on the action taking place on the rotating bed.

"No fooling?" Derek gasps. "You actually let David train with other women?"

"Yes, we had three women help out during the last three weeks." Julie admits. "David is an attractive man so it wasn't too hard to get volunteers. Two of them were friends of mine. The other one was a stranger we met in a night club."

"Wow!" Derek blurts. His surprise seems genuine.

"Who picked David's ... sparring partners? Did he or did you?"

"I was the one who asked my friends to help with the training, but I let David pick the third one, the one we met in the nightclub." Julie responds, looking briefly at Derek before returning her gaze to David and Connie. "The training helped me too. I had to get used to watching David with another woman. It was painful for me at first. I won't say that I enjoy seeing my husband getting intimate with other women, but ... I've come to grips with it. It's worth it for the chance to win $50,000."

"David seems pretty composed," Derek remarks.

"He eventually got to the point where he could go a full 30 minutes with the women who helped train him, no matter what they did to him. Towards the end of training he could hang on even when they took him two at a time." Julie observes, a hint of pride in her voice. "He only has to survive 20 minutes with Connie. I think he'll do just fine."

Derek begins to walk across the stage toward Roger who is now standing in his VIP viewing box. The camera again pans across the studio audience. A few more women are now seated on their husband's or boyfriend's laps. One couple has already stripped down to their socks and appears to be copulating. Several other couples are in various states of undress and are busily groping each other. One woman is on her knees apparently doing unto her husband as Connie is currently doing unto David.

"What's your assessment so far, Roger?" Derek inquires.

"David seems to have a lot more self-control than I originally thought." Roger replies. "When I saw that he was already stiff before Connie even got on the bed with him I assumed she'd have him finished off in the first few minutes, yet here we are nearly six minutes into the match and, apart from the boner, he seems to be maintaining his mental composure."

Roger glances at the Splooge Countdown clock and then yells to Connie, "Six minutes!"

"Julie says David trained for this." Derek informs Roger. "Did you let Connie train before she made her first appearance on Splooge Countdown?"

"No, we didn't train exactly," Roger concedes. "But I did explain to her about the various things that drive the average man wild."

"Such as?"

"Well, I think every man is different." Roger comments as if he were a trained sex consultant. "Some guys are very visual. I think Connie might need to give David something interesting to look at. That might help break down his concentration and focus his attention where we want it right now."

Roger leans forward, cupping his hands to his mouth and yells to Connie, "Turn around, honey! Give him something cute to look at and tasty to nibble on!"

Connie seems unable to hear Roger's instructions over the noise of the crowd.

Waiving his hands over his head as the bed rotates into a position such that Connie can now see him, Roger again encourages Connie to "give David something pink to play with."

Her mouth is full but seeing Roger out of the corners of her eyes, Connie briefly releases David from her mouth as she whips around into a 69 position, straddling his face and taking him back into her mouth, her hands kneading his balls.

Derek leaves Roger and heads back to Julie. As he wanders across the stage the camera again pans across the studio audience. Nearly a third of those in the audience now have their hands in their own or their partner's pants. A few are decidedly farther along than that. Several of the couples in the front row are taking full advantage of the extra room available to them and have liberated their partners from their clothing and are busy giving them hand jobs or better. A young, delectable black woman, having just peeled the trousers off her husband, seems to be asking the diminutive oriental lady sitting in the next seat to lend a hand. She encourages the thin Asian woman to stroke her young black husband into full attention while she gets busy stripping down to her milk chocolate birthday suit. The oriental lady complies happily. She is clearly impressed with the size and weight of her neighbor's African pecker. Her oriental husband is so captivated by the sight of the young woman's creamy and curvaceous café au lait body as she doffs her thong panties and bra that he fails to even notice his wife's lurid fascination with the now fully rigid black pecker she is stroking with such unbridled enthusiasm. A few seats away, a middle aged woman is seen taking some tissue from her purse and wiping up her husband's "accident" from her face and blouse as the woman seated next to him watches, laughing uncontrollably.

The camera now returns to Derek who has arrived back at Julie's VIP viewing box. "Looks to me like your training has certainly paid off so far," Derek remarks.

"So far so good," Julie says raising her hands and crossing her fingers.

Derek turns and looks at the rotating bed just as David suddenly widens the spread of his legs, giving Connie even better access than she already had.

"Uh-oh! Maybe I spoke too soon!" Derek remarks.

"This is not good!" Julie admits. "I think David might be losing his concentration."

David's hands suddenly leave his side where they had remained since he got on the bed. He grabs Connie's ass very near her love crevice, parts her lips and begins to enthusiastically nibble at and lick her pink parts.

"Well, I was wondering how long it would take him to go for the bait," Derek remarks. "Connie has been rubbing herself all over his mouth and chin for the last several minutes and he just now gave in to her juicy, pink temptation."

"Actually," Julie remarks coolly, "it's his training kicking in. I think David was starting to lose his concentration and now he's trying to distract Connie. Maybe this will make her a little less effective as she continues to work on him."

"Looks to me like he's enjoying himself," Derek smirks.

"I am sure he is, but I think he's still under control -- but he's closer to the edge than he was a few minutes ago." Julie concedes. "Connie certainly seems to know what she is doing and she is starting to wear him down."

As the bed continues its rotation the cameras zoom in for close ups of David and Connie each ravenously slurping on the other, their faces glistening like glazed donuts. Suddenly, Connie lifts her head, sits briefly upright and caresses her breasts while grinding her pudenda rhythmically against David's mouth and chin. Throwing her head back, she grunts softly.

"Way to go, David!" Julie calls out to her husband. "He's broken her concentration! He's taken control!" she gloats to Derek. Julie seems unfazed that her husband has just brought another woman to orgasm by repeatedly running his tongue over and into her pink parts.

"I guess you could put it that way," Derek deadpans giving another knowing look towards the camera. "I wonder what Roger's thinking right now."

Derek begins to make his way back to Roger to get his assessment of Connie's apparent orgasm. As Derek crosses the stage towards Roger the camera zooms in on the three judges on the red velvet couch. It is highly questionable whether any of the three judges are paying any attention to the couple on the rotating bed. Desiree and Sarah have both cuddled up even closer to Hugh Mongus. Hugh wraps his left arm around Desiree to fondle her silicon augmented breast. Meanwhile Desiree watches Sarah who has resumed stroking Hugh's enormous kielbasa with determined fascination. Sarah seems oblivious to anything beyond the enormous, rigid package she is manipulating with both hands. Obviously enjoying her manual attention, Hugh decides it is time to up the ante. He withdraws his left arm which had been wrapped around Desiree's shoulders. Turning towards Sarah, he reaches between her legs as he pulls her closer towards him with his right arm. Sarah seems to welcome this new development as she splays her left leg more widely, raising it and then draping it across Hugh's abdomen thereby making her pink parts more easily accessible to Hugh's groping left hand.

Hugh wastes no time in going three knuckles deep into Sarah who astonishes the studio audience and millions in the TV audience by managing to splay her legs even more widely, dispelling any question about how she feels about Hugh's digital invasion into her very moist pink privacies.

Having now reached Roger, Derek challenges him, "Are you getting worried now, Roger?"

Roger initially ignores Derek and calls out to Connie, "Ten minutes!" It is unclear whether Connie heard him.

With a worried look on his face Roger comments without taking his eyes off the couple on the rotating bed, "Where did you get this guy? He has unbelievable self-control!"

Roger calls out again to Connie, "You have less than ten minutes now!"

This time it appears that Connie heard Roger. She quickly leaps off of David, turns around and settles astride him cowgirl style. But rather than stuffing David's engorged salami into her love canal, Connie begins stroking rubbing her wet pussy back and forth along its length. After two or three strokes along the length of David's nightstick, Connie positions herself strategically and briefly inserts the tip into her hot little snatch before sliding her hot, wet koochy along the length of his love baton.

After a minute or so of this intense teasing, David's self-restraint begins to crumble. As Connie again positions her love portal directly over David's engorged love muscle and tempts him with an inch or less of penetration, David reaches for her hips with both hands and pushes her down onto his rigid kielbasa.

As soon as David is balls deep inside her, Connie begins an exquisite combination of bobbing and twisting. David initially returns his hands to his sides, flat on the bed but within a couple of minutes of Connie's swiveling, rotating grind, David's face begins to redden and the veins in his neck and forehead begin to bulge. He reaches for Connie's cute breasts bobbing enticingly in front of him and fondles them momentarily before reaching around, cupping her ass and thrusting aggressively into Connie from below.

Derek commences back across the stage towards Julie. On his way he stops at the edge of the rotating bed and gets down on his hands and knees in the manner of a wrestling referee attempting to verify that the requirements for a "pin" are satisfied. The bed rotates providing Derek a close up view of the pounding that David and Connie are giving each other. Derek stares intently as Connie's koochy rhythmically slides up and down David's shaft, stopping to swivel when he is balls deep. Derek turns toward the camera, shaking his head as he bites his lip and rolls his eyes.

Getting up off his hands and knees Derek resumes making his way towards Julie but then looks over at the three judges on their red velvet couch. Hugh Mongus has slid further down on the couch and is now in more of a reclining than a sitting position. Sarah has slid herself further over onto Hugh and is now fully on top of him, reclining back onto his chest. Her legs are splayed wantonly, her right leg wide to the right and her left leg wide to the left, draped across Desiree's lap who grips Sarah's thigh tightly as if to hold her open. Turning towards Hugh and Sarah, Desiree's free hand firmly grips Hugh's tool and uses it to massage Sarah's pink cleft which is conveniently nearby, gaping widely evidently as much out of her eager expectation about enormous things to come as her extreme spread-legged posture. Sarah leans back and kisses Hugh over her left shoulder as she reaches down and, grips Hugh's tool. Maneuvering herself into position atop Hugh, it is very apparent that Sarah has made her decision and is ready to guide Hugh's enormous love muscle inside her.

Hopefully, her parents will eventually forgive and forget her astoundingly slutty debut on national TV.

Derek marches over to the judges' couch with exaggerated determination. "You're supposed to be judging the Splooge Countdown match!" Derek screams in mock indignation. "You're responsible for sounding the warning buzzer if David fails to observe the rules."

"Looks to me like David is doing just fine," Hugh intones drolly as he squeezes Sarah's billowy white boobs as Sarah continues to gingerly work his enormous Oscar Mayer into her tender trap. Although Sarah seems to have some difficulty accommodating his thick love log, she shows determination and slowly but surely impales herself on it. Desiree gently cups Hugh's balls in her hand as if providing him moral support in his moment of need.

"I'd say you're not doing too badly yourself!" Derek remarks to Hugh. Hugh grins and gives a thumbs up as he commences enthusiastically thrusting balls deep into Sarah from below.

The look of intense concentration on Sarah's face indicates that she has forgotten about her friends and family back home in Wisconsin who are surely aghast as they watch her incomparably slutty debut on national late night cable TV.

Derek dejectedly hangs his head and again begins to approach Julie. He takes only a couple of steps before looking out to the studio audience. He stops abruptly and gapes toward the audience. As the camera pans across the studio audience it is clear that sexual contagion has spread like a California grassfire. The scene is one of pandemonium. Nearly everyone in the studio audience is now engaged in some kind of carnal encounter. Approximately a third of the audience members are busy masturbating or groping their partners, giving or getting hand jobs. Another third are engaging in oral sex. The rest are copulating. Numerous couples have moved to the carpeted area between the front row and the stage where they have more room to spread out and cavort butt naked as they put on their own show that easily rivals what is taking place onstage. Every technique seems to be represented -- from missionary, doggy style, 69, standing and forward and reverse cowgirl. The studio's first ménage à trois forms as two naked men and a naked woman descend into this free-for-all on the floor between the front row and the stage. Taking a wide legged stance, the woman bends and leans forward, bracing herself by wrapping her arms around the waist of the naked man who stands before her. She immediately begins taking him orally while the second man, standing close behind her, grabs her derriere, eases himself into her and commences his rhythmic assault.