Splooge Countdown

Derek mopes over to Julie's viewing box.

"I think I've lost control of the show!" he complains.

Julie looks briefly at Derek, her face full of puzzlement. She does not seem to have a clue what he is talking about.

Derek points to the audience. Julie glances toward the audience and cups her hand across her overbite as she laughs. She quickly returns her gaze to the rotating bed and her husband who now seems to have lost his bearings and is simply going for the gusto.

"Fifteen minutes!" Julie screams at her husband. "Just five minutes to go!"

"You don't seem to be affected by this sexual tension," Derek observes. "Aren't you getting horny?"

Julie keeps her eyes fixed on the two manic people on the rotating bed. "I'm focused on winning. If David wins tonight and again next week, we can pay off our mortgage!"

Derek begins to pound his forehead with the microphone.

Suddenly David begins to buck with such enthusiasm and vigor that, even without his loud moans and grunts, it is evident he is spewing something vital deep inside Connie.

Despite the clear impression that he is witnessing another man empty his splooge tanks deep inside his beloved, young wife, Roger begins jumping and pumping his fist in the air exclaiming "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Connie waits for a moment as David's thrusting and twitching subside before leaping off her challenger and standing victoriously above him, her fist defiantly raised in victory.

Derek races over to the red velvet judges' couch and snatches the buzzer control that the judges are roundly ignoring as they proceed with their own frantic splooge countdown. Derek presses the button sounding the buzzer.

The Splooge Countdown clock hanging over the bed stops with three minutes 18 seconds left.

The bed stops rotating.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Derek intones, "it appears we have a winner! With three minutes and 18 seconds left, the winner and still champion is ..."

"I don't see any splooge," Julie blurts.

Derek looks at her in disbelief.

Julie remains oddly quiet and poised. She winks at her husband who is still lying flat on his back, his meaty stalagmite still pointing at the Klieg lights overhead. David appears to wink bank at Julie.

"You must be kidding!" Derek complains. You saw and heard David a moment ago. It's very clear he dumped his load inside Connie."

"I don't see any splooge," Julie quietly repeats, her voice filled with confidence.

"Goodness gracious me!" Derek exclaims. Turning to someone standing off stage he shouts, "Get Dr. Phil out here!"

As the familiar looking bald fellow in the tweed coat with elbow patches returns to the stage Derek asks him to settle the dispute by "getting out your blue Splooge spotlighter flashlight out and confirm the obvious for us."

Dr. Phil approaches the bed and asks Connie to assume the position for another sexamination. Dr. Phil pulls on his white latex gloves again and turns on his special flashlight. His sexamination takes much longer this time than it did before the start of the match.

"She's very wet," he observes, still looking. "But I see no splooge. None whatsoever."

"Yes!" Julie jumps and now pumps her fist overhead.

Dr. Phil turns his attention to David who is still on his back and still as stiff as ever.

Shining the intense blue light on David's glistening meat and two vegetables while holding it between his thumb and index finger, Dr. Phil says, "No splooge here either."

Derek looks at Dr. Phil. He appears thoroughly confused. After a long awkward silence Derek walks to the edge of the big round bed and stares down at David who is still flat on his back and, from the unrequited look of his love tackle, it is clear that he still has some unfinished business in his veins and on his mind.

"David," Derek sounds like a courtroom lawyer examining a hostile witness, "Did you or did you not just shoot Connie full of splooge?"

"I did not." David replies calmly.

Julie is still in her VIP viewing box pumping her fist into the air, obviously elated. Roger stands open mouthed but silent in his VIP viewing box while Connie stands, hands on her hips, beside the bed looking confused and a little annoyed.

"But David, based on your reactions a minute ago it seemed to me and to everyone in the studio audience that you were ..."

"I faked it." David interrupts.

Connie throws up her hands in exasperation. Some in the studio audience cry foul.

"You faked it?" Derek asks in astonishment. "Why would you do that?"

Because I was getting mighty close to losing it." David explains. "Another 30 seconds or so at the most and I would have blown my load for sure. I faked it to make her think she had already won. I figured this would cause her to stop, hop off me and give me a fighting chance to hang on."

"Clever tactic!" Derek admits over the continued objections from the studio audience.

Holding up his hand as if to demand quiet, Derek appears to be listening to someone's input coming in over his earpiece. He nods in apparent agreement with the advice he is hearing over his earpiece.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Derek attempts to regain control over the situation. "The Splooge Countdown board of commissioners has ruled that David's faked climax does not violate any rules. David did nothing to physically restrain Connie or to make himself inaccessible. The board of commissioners says the match should be continued with three minutes and 18 seconds on the clock.

Connie nods. She seems to have gotten over her initial aggravation over David's deceitful tactics and is now again showing her competitive spirit.

David, still on his back in the middle of the round bed with his readiness to continue self-evident, coolly replies, "OK with me."

Someone in the audience hollers, "Get it on!" The rest of the audience takes it up and begins chanting, "Get it on! Get it on! Get it on!"

"David, Connie, let's pick up exactly where we were when the Splooge Countdown clock was stopped. Can we do that?" Derek asks solicitously.

David and Connie nod their sweaty agreement.

Connie retakes her position astride David on the center of the round bed, guiding his rhythm stick deep inside her and settling fully down on it. David seems pleased to have her back and grabs her ass in a welcoming fashion. The two of them go back to work on each other even before Derek calls for the Splooge Countdown clock to be restarted.

The big round bed begins to rotate again as the contestants enthusiastically bang away. Roger and Julie both resume screaming their encouragements and suggested tactics to their respective spouses who are busy humping the living daylights out of a stranger only a few feet away.

Julie is soon heard to scream, "David, you're down to the last two minutes!"

"Come on, honey, finish him off!" Roger begs Connie.

David and Connie continue their relentless pounding. David grabs Connie's sexy bottom with both hands and pulls her firmly towards him, ensuring maximum penetration with every stroke.

From the look on his face and the way he is involuntarily curling his toes, David again seems to be close to tossing his load deep inside Connie. The camera zooms in for a close up of what many in the audience believe will be David's gland finale.

As the relentless pounding continues unabated the audience begins the countdown, "20, 19, 18, 17 ... ."

"Hang on, David, you're nearly there!" Julie pleads.

"You've just about got him where you want him!" Roger calls out to his wife, apparently missing the irony of his assertion. But the look on Connie's face suggests that it is David who has her exactly where he wants her. Biting her lip, Connie's face reddens as she stops her frantic humping momentarily before humping convulsively for 4 or 5 seconds and then collapsing onto David's chest, limp as a ragdoll.

David, confident of victory, continues to gleefully thrust into Connie from below as he kneads her sweaty ass with both hands.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 1 ..."

The final buzzer sounds loudly as the Splooge Countdown clock reaches zero.

"OK, time's up!" Derek announces with authority as he approaches the bed.

David rolls over, pushing Connie onto her back. He mounts her and continues enjoying her as if there has been no buzzer. Connie, showing signs of rejuvenation, spreads her legs to a nearly 180 degree angle as she grabs David's head and pulls his face towards her, kissing him passionately while he continues vigorously plowing her furrow.

"Stop! Stop!" Derek insists. "We have to verify the results!"

Dr. Phil has already re-emerged onto the stage with is medical blue-light special.

In response to Derek's determined demands for a ceasefire, David reluctantly withdraws from Connie, rolls to one side and lies on the bed immediately beside her. Pointing to the rafters, his bologna signals that David still has some unfinished business. Flat on her back beside him, Connie lifts her left leg and drapes it across David's abdomen. David responds by patting her mound lovingly with his right hand and digitally massaging her visibly engorged pink pearl.

Pushing Connie's leg up and out of the way Dr. Phil immediately inspects David's hot rod with his blue light. "Nothing here" he intones and proceeds to remove David's hand from Connie's dripping kitty. Holding her delicate koochy lips open with his latex gloved fingers Dr. Phil shines the light into Connie's tunnel of love while getting down on his hands and knees for a closer look. A clear liquid drips down from Connie's open koochy across her anus. Dr. Phil then stands up, reaches for David's hand, pulls him to his feet and hoists it his hand over his head declaring David the winner.

Derek congratulates David and then consoles Connie reminding her that she won $150,000 in her last three appearances on the show.

Struggling to her feet Connie, still unsteady and a little out of breath, admits, "Yeah, I can't complain. I had a wonderful time and I'm going home with a much needed addition to the family budget. But I still think David's phony orgasm to trick me into giving him a time out was sneaky and unfair."

Someone in the crowd begins chanting "Re-match! Re-match!" The audience takes up the chant.

Derek says, "We have to take another time out for a word from our commercial sponsor."

The camera pans across the studio audience revealing that more than half remain busy with their personal splooge challenges or are still cleaning up after their recent moments of ecstasy.

[The TV monitors show another advertisement suitable only for a late-night cable TV audience. An older gentleman with gray hair but the lean, muscular build of a man half his age is seen standing close behind a young woman who he has draped over the back of a couch. She appears young enough to be his daughter. Both are nude. As the aging Lothario pummels his young lady friend from behind the voice over begins describing vitamin supplements and explaining their fantastic age-defying, health-preserving benefits. On the theory that a picture is worth a thousand words, the advertisement concludes with a close up of the man's face, biting his lip as he rather obviously approaches his moment of truth, then fading into a close up view of him driving his manly point deep into his young Lolita before withdrawing and nestling his howitzer in the cleavage of her soft derriere and shooting an impressively copious stream of baby batter up between her shoulder blades before entering her again and renewing his assault.]

Back in the Splooge Countdown theatre the camera shows the studio audience. Most of those who do not have their mouths full, including even some who are busy canoodling their partners, are still chanting, "Re-match! Re-match!" The rest remain occupied with their own sticky pursuits.

Desiree, Hugh and Sarah are seen in the background, still sharing their red velvet couch. Hugh continues to slouch, Sarah reclining on top of him as he holds her hips to maintain optimum angle and penetration as he unrelentingly thrusts vigorously into her from beneath. Hugh's and Sarah's legs are splayed widely enough for Desiree to kneel between them. A view from a side camera reveals that Desiree is nibbling on Sarah's panic button while Hugh gives her the full benefit of his impressive girth and length. Desiree occasionally pulls Hugh's massive manhood out of Sarah and licks him clean before Sarah intervenes, reaching down between her legs to grab Hugh's battering ram and guide it back inside her.

Derek is seen huddled with David, Julie, Roger and Connie on the stage next to the big round bed. They are discussing something.

Derek then emerges from their huddle, raises his arms into the air to plead for quiet from the crowd as they continue to insist on a re-match.

"Hang on! Hang on! Let me say something," Derek pleads. "Please, ladies and gentlemen!"

The crowd quiets down just a bit. A few continue chanting for a re-match.

"In view of the controversial nature of David's victory tonight, our commissioners have agreed to a special, sudden-death, or should I say a "sudden Splooge" playoff match. We've never had anything like this before on Splooge Countdown and I have a feeling you're all going to enjoy this." Derek explains to the crowd.

"David is our winner for tonight and will be back next week no matter what. So he and Julie have nothing to lose. But because of the way David tricked Connie into giving him the break that he needed to hang on to his wad, we're going to give Connie and Roger the opportunity to come back next week for a rematch and another chance to add to their winnings. I've just discussed the proposal with David, Julie, Roger and Connie and they have all agreed."

David, Julie, Roger and Connie all nod in agreement. Everyone but Julie looks enthusiastic. Julie appears nervous.

"Roger and Julie will also participate alongside David and Connie in this Sudden Splooge playoff match. Julie is going to use her powers of persuasion to make Roger spill his splooge before Connie manages to make David to spill his."

Here are the rules." Derek continues. "In the sudden death, I mean Sudden Splooge play-off match, there will be no countdown clock. The winners and losers will be determined by who makes whom splooge first. As before, the male contestant must remain flat on his back and may not do anything to fend off his female opponent or to interfere with her full and unfettered access to him. Violations will result in a warning buzzer being sounded by our judges. Three warning buzzers and you forfeit to the other team." Derek turns and looks at the three judges who are rather obviously not paying any damn attention to a single word he is saying.

"If Connie pops David's cork before Julie pops Roger's, then she and Roger will return next week for the rematch and the opportunity to win another $50,000. If Julie gets Roger to spew before Connie makes David erupt, Roger and Connie will be flying back to Tulsa tomorrow morning and David will proceed to face our ferociously hot contestant next week, the stripper from Caracas."

The studio audience erupts in applause. A few couples who had already put their clothes back on are seen undressing again in anticipation of renewed inspiration.

"Is everyone ready?" Derek inquires of the contestants.

All four nod in agreement.

"Julie, Roger, it's time for you to get undressed and into position." Derek instructs.

Roger quickly peels off his clothes and kicks off his shoes. His pale pudginess stands in contrast to David's taut, tanned physique. Julie takes a little longer to undress. She is also very white but thin. She looks like she could benefit from a few more curly fries in her diet. Now that she is naked, she has something more serious than an overbite to feel self-conscious about.

The long-limbed, naked Asian cutie comes back onstage with two more small duffel bags and collects Roger's and Julie's clothes before bouncing delightfully back offstage.

"Roger, David, please take your positions on the bed, flat on your backs." Derek says. "Julie, Connie, please go wait in the starting circle. Once you hear the starting buzzer, attack your awaiting victims."

Roger and David take their positions. As before, David seems more than ready. He is fully up and rigid, plainly eager for Connie's return. Although only sporting a semi, Roger also seems anxious to get the test underway and is seen smiling broadly in Julie's direction.

"On your marks, get set ....GO!"

Connie lurches onto the bed which resumes rotating. She immediately sits astride David and immediately has him balls deep inside her. Connie enthusiastically resumes her rhythmic, gyrating pounding. She clearly has her second wind.

David's mutual enthusiasm is self-evident.

Unlike the way Connie leapt back onto David, Julie approaches Roger more slowly, even cautiously. She kneels between his legs for a moment while massaging his frankfurter to improve his state of readiness. Roger doesn't take long and seems eager. Julie leans forward and takes him into her mouth. After only a few seconds she suddenly stops, twirls around into a 69 position, plants her koochy on Roger's face as she takes him back into her mouth and continues what has all the indications of being an excellent blow job.

Roger is evidently enchanted with his close up view of Julie's most intimate and sensitive orifice. He immediately begins stroking, poking and licking it enthusiastically as he tightly wraps his arms around the uppermost part of her thighs and holds her pink parts wide open to ensure their full accessibility to his oral attentions.

Meanwhile, Connie continues working hard to earn her right to return and vie for more prize money next week. She treats every last inch of David's love log to long, twisting strokes of her young, hot, tight little sweet box. David encourages Connie by fondling her ass and toying playfully with her anus as he nibbles on her dainty breasts.

After about four minutes all eyes and the cameras suddenly return to Roger as he lets loose with a loud, "Ooooooooooooh!!!" He is gripping the sheets as if he were afraid he was going to fly off of them. Sensing that victory is within her mouth, Julie continues giving Roger long, slow head strokes, her lips pursing tightly around Roger's tumescent nightstick as she cradles his balls in her hands.

Roger's entire body becomes rigid and motionless. He grimaces as he futilely attempts to forestall the onset of the delicious and involuntary convulsions that make life worth living. He lingers on the edge of his waterfall for about five seconds, desperately trying to hang on to his load, before convulsing violently and gasping for air. Julie continues licking and stroking the length of Roger's truncheon as he spews his thick sticky essence into her mouth and onto her face.

Julie seems pleased at her quick success and at the intensity of Roger's climax. Although she has completed her mission, she remains astride Roger leaving her juicy pink parts available to him as Roger continues to kiss and lick them with enthusiastic gratitude. Julie responds by grinding her pudenda onto Roger's mouth and chin.

Derek bends over to get a better look at the messy goo on Julie's face. He raises his arms in the air like a football referee signaling a touchdown.

"We have a winner!" he proclaims! "Julie has polished Roger off. The splooge is plain to see. We won't need Dr. Phil to verify this one.

The camera zooms in for a close up of Julie, still gingerly licking and stroking Roger's ebbing erection, milking the last drops of his sticky cream out of it and licking them off as they emerge one by one and then swallowing the evidence. Her face is streaked with fresh splooge.

Derek takes Julie by the hand and encourages her to stand up. He reaches over toward David and encourages David to do likewise. David seems in no hurry to get up. Just as he had done when the Splooge Countdown buzzer sounded earlier, David has tossed Connie onto her back and hopped on top of her, repeatedly burying his truncheon deep inside her. Connie wraps her legs around his waist. Derek repeatedly taps David on his shoulder until he eventually sits up in response to Derek's persistent demands. Derek has to forcibly unclench Connie's legs from around David's waist in order for David to dismount, get on his feet and be congratulated as the official winner of tonight's Splooge Countdown.