All Comments on 'Starlight Gleaming Ch. 08'

good writing but a large disconnect ( in my mind at least) between ch 7 and ch 8.

please keep it coming - really enjoying this.

Chapter 8 is supposed to be one of major changes. Nine and ten will have even more. Tougher, I think, to write from first person and do it well. One has to get inside the head and think from that character's perspective. Tough, too, to strike a balance with how much world building to do without letting it overwhelm the narration and bog down or even drown the story itself. At this point, it's just me doing the writing and editing since I am without an editor again, and per usual, the writing is happening in the wee hours when I should be sleeping. I counted at least three dropped words and five typos that I missed prior to posting. To that I say a hearty "arrrgh!"

Both Kandikan and Tlacotli are trying to find balance amid the new demands they are encountering. For the pilot, her crew has become her family, and she is learning what it means to love. For Kandikan, it is the three-way pull of wanting to be with and protect the woman he loves, the obligations and demands of family (helping his father, taking care of Calia), and the new ones of working for Itznacoco, Imperial Security, and Melannee, who may become his new boss.

Comments are welcome. I find that it's only about five out of a hundred (or less) that bother to vote on a story, and maybe ten percent of those voters who actually comment. I try to check out new writers and give feedback when I can, and I have discovered a there is a some dross here, but there are also a lot of very talented wordsmiths as well.

I only vote unless its worth a 4 or 5...and I rarely wish to vote higher but this is just so so good - off the scale, bury the needle, however you want to express it it's still simply the best! Thanks for your talent and time - I Soooo appreciate it!!

I really like the series. But I have huge problems with this chapter.

You don't go to fuck a prostitute, who is directly supervised by her pimp and are given a black suitcase by her in the open without raising suspicion. Nor does she go shopping with you afterwards, paying for you. The only reason she was infiltrating those men's organisation, would be, if its a crime syndicate. And you can be sure that that doesn't involve playing prostitute for five minutes and then breaking your cover.

Raij is far too unbelievably naive and stupid. Not only did he not take the situation seriously and really endangered his fellow agent, but he also knew that he was being filmed and performed oral sex, giving the other side perfect blackmailing material. And she is supposedly a field agent of 14 years and didn't notice? Moreover he is taking out a gun from the suitcase while still in the room with the camera?

. . . sweet & caring !

the storytelling style isnt quite to my preference, too straighforward and a bit rough around the edges. but it brings a smile to my face anyway, cuz its a pretty decent story w some solid sex scenes, with wholesome bonus.