by katiebug22500
... and I hate to be the grammar police - I never do this unless it really detracts from the story. She was "self-conscious" - not "self-cautious".
I noticed other ones, but this specific error caused my brain to BRAKE at that point in the story - and seriously affected the 'flow' - if you get my meaning.
Keep writing, please - I'll be back to check out your other submissions because I thought you had a great story.
The story is good, but you need an editor. The one that got me the most was that you kept using "through" when it should have been "threw". Also, why do so many people use "defiantly" in placew of "definitely"? I've never understood that. If I were an English teacher, this would get a B+ for content and a D- for mechanics. You have some ability but you need to get help with the technical part.
If you need help I am willing although I'm not a member of Literotica. I really like your writing style and intent in this story. cjmiller1954@yahoo.com. I have been published in the past (non erotic) and was a journalism minor.
Terrible grammar and spelling, it's just so annoying to see all these native speakers' lack of basic skills in writing and spelling.