by natashastevenserotica
Please go on with this story, you really have something going on here...
Childish saying stepdaddy all the way through the story.
The concept of watching a girl/woman masturbate is something most men love and makes for a interesting story.
Ok he don't want to cheat on his wife I get that, but he could still help her with a little fingering, hell he jacked off and cum all over her and that's far worst than playing with her.
Was very nice, I got mad when it ended on the first page, and was like "oh there is a second one"
I flirted with my stepfather too, and although I was aware of him stealing quick glances at me, I never was able to get anywhere with him. Maybe when he went into the bathroom., it was to play with himself. I'll never know, as he died two years ago.3AC6
Re-write the story with more adult dialogue and then it may just be readable, right now it's just childish.
The dialogue is supposed to be a bit silly, as she's a silly naive young girl, and it's supposed to be her stepfather, not her real father. They don't have a "Pseud-Incest" category, sorry.
That's the only thing i don't like is how she keeps saying stepdad it quite annoying read that word over and over again but other than that very hot story and it does build up a lot of sensation for me so when i finally touch myself it be the best! Keep that good work up!! <3
Very skillful. You know what you're doing. Never mind the criticisms about immature dialogue. It's all part of the flirtation. Another good writer on this site is YouBadBoy who writes wonderful erotic stories, but some of the girls, who are supposed to be 18 to be on this site, talk like 14 or 15 year olds. Like girls who in incest stories call their fathers, "daddy," and boys who call their moms, "mommy."
God, I want more of the story.
But why does she keep on calling him Stepdad? It kinda irritating me and why not say his name instead? Well Great story.
Made me so wet...wish he would have showed her how and what his big cock looks like as he jacked to her pussy and big tits
the term "step-daddy" all the way through, made it sound like bad roll-play, baby talk, and everyone knows, that no 40 yr old male, is going to just sit there, and "instruct" teen, on how to masturbate, when she's begging to be jumped.
nobody would do that in real life ^^ but who cares honestly ^^ yes it would have been better if she had used his name instead but it was fine : ) thanks ^^