by LordRaven
I have never read a story here on Lit with such depth of character, such vividness of description and such breathtaking eroticism. My sincerest thanks for this first section before I go on to read the rest.
The student has become the master, grasshopper. Sorry I couldnt resist. Very well down and realistic, a few nags here and there but like most nags are irrelevant to the quality of the story. Good solid relationship building and slow but steady storytelling. Keep up the good work.
First of all, bloody fucking marvelous work.
I was a little creeped out at first because not only were you describing my personality (sean) with eerie precision, you even wrote like I do and have the same humor. I am still working on my first story but goddamn, you did a bang-up job on this one. I hope it turns out as good as yours. Writing from Liz's perspective was also a treat, not many authors do that and pull it off.
Good editing too, I only noticed maybe 3-4 typos which is pretty good for 17 pages.
My only complaint is the lack of detail in the sex scenes. I personally like more detail in the orgasms for men and what happens to the cum but it's not a huge deal, I liked the story too much to care.
Could use a little editing and proofreading.
For example:
Where the goals are in American football is called the end zone, not the N zone.
Catching things like that is where a good editor and proofreader help.