All Comments on 'Strange Adventures of Cinnamon Ch. 06-10'

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for taking time to read my story. I hope you like it so far. And thanks to all of yos who have written me about the first 5 chapters. Thanks. It was a realy help and was the one reason why I desided to post here again.

If any of you have noticed that my writing seems better that is entirely thanks to my editor John (Thank you John) who kindly vollenteered to help me. With his help I have edited the first 5 chapters as well however the powers that be have desided to reject them yet again. This time because EDIT was not in the title. I had put (now with editing) in with the description because the title box is full. Some how they didn't get the message.

I can try to post them again if you want but I'm seriously thinking of abandoning this site. The powers that be, whether intentionally or not, have been making me feel most unwelcome here. And I'm tired of dealing with their demands for perfection even though they are far from perfect.

So I'll leave it up to you my readers. Do I try again or no? Please let me know.

Whether I do or not however the edited version of the first 5 chapters (minus itallacs) are already posted on another story site and the next 2 or 3 chapters should be posted there soon. If you haven't found them already I'll give you directions to the site if you want.

Thanks again

sam_177

using your vs you're, where vs were, and a couple others, I can't recall, and add a bit on using commas to break up sentences for better understanding, and rythym, you'd have the mechanics under pretty good control, (which is a lot more than many who've been submitting to Lit for a lot longer).

You have a good story line, your characters are interesting, and engaging, and you have a knack for writing natural sounding dialogue, (which is one of the most challenging aspects of writing fiction).

The misuse of 'your/you're, etc.' might be too much of a reliance on spell check. The use can be incorrect, but the spelling still correct.

One technique for catching those types of errors is to read you work aloud. Read as if you are reading to an audience; anytime you studder, stumble, or hesitate, the passage likely needs work.

It will improve your character dialogue, help you find the homonym spelling errors, and also help learn comma usage. Commas are roadsign for readers, telling them when to catch a breath, and a valuable tool for a writer, to create better understanding of their written word.

Without them, it's easy to read unfamiliar passages and get 'out of rythym' with the writer. People read in phrase segments, not in full sentences, unless the sentence is short. This is why using commas is so important in written communication.

Thanks for sharing your creative mind, and thanks for the work it takes to put together a Lit submission.

Hope my suggestions help you improve as writer. Please accept them as a token of my appreciation.

GeoD