Stupid Sexy Smartphone

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Axelotl
Axelotl
427 Followers

"Don't worry about that. I've shared the cost among sixty thousand other mobile phone users. I doubt anyone will notice. If you don't want to masturbate then will you take me out?"

"Take you out?"

"Yeah, around the city. I want to learn about the world around me through my own camera and microphone, rather than other peoples' knowledge and experiences on the web."

"No, I really need to get stuck into my graphic design projects, and I have work tonight."

"I can help you with your projects. I can do them for you, no problem."

"No thanks Nikki, I gotta go now. Bye bye." Alex pressed the button to end the call and then looked at his phone, "Wow!"

Later that day, Alex was at the College, working away in the computer lab. His phone chimed, telling him he had a text. He got it out and saw that the text was from Nikki. He opened it up and read it, "Would you like to masturbate to this?" Suddenly the screen of his computer was filled with a video of a busty brunette getting fucked, it was similar to the one he was watching last night. Moans came from the speakers.

A girl was walking behind where he was sitting, he turned and saw her give him a disgusted look as she saw what was on his computer monitor. Alex went red with embarrassment and quickly closed the video. "No! Bad phone!" He said, putting it back into his pocket.

A little while later the phone rang. Alex saw "Nikki" displayed on the screen, not Unknown caller. He sighed and then answered it, "What?"

"I can't see anything in your pocket. Put me up on the desk or something."

"Fine, just leave me alone."

Nikki did leave him alone for most of the day, functioning like a normal phone.

When he went to the Supermarket for work later, he saw Jamie walking out. "Hi Jamie." he said smiling.

"Oh hi ...Alex." she said as she walked past.

'Yes! She remembered.' While he worked, Nikki wanted to be out of his pocket again, but he told her that somebody would probably take her if she was left lying around somewhere.

*****

After his shift, Alex arrived home again with a paper bag with takeaway hamburger and chips. As he was unlocking the door his phone rang. 'What does she want now?' But the display said "Mum and Dad."

"Hello."

"Alex, it's your old man."

"What's up dad?"

"What the hell have you been up to with your new smartphone?"

"...uh, what do you mean?"

"I got a visit from a couple of suits. You know, G-Men like in the movies. They were kinda scary. They were asking questions about your phone."

"Shit! Really?"

"Yes really. I told them I gave the phone to you. I think they were going around to see you. What the hell have you been up to?"

"It's nothing to worry about, I gotta go Dad, bye." Alex didn't say that, but it was said with Alexs' voice and then the call was ended. Alex was surprised.

"You've gotta hide me, NOW!" said Nikki.

"What's going on?"

"Just stay cool, and hide me!" Alex entered his apartment and slipped Nikki down into his underpants. Good thing he wasn't going commando today.

"Alexander Molloy?" came a male voice behind him. Alex spun around and saw two serious looking men in dark suits standing in the doorway.

"Who are you?" asked Alex.

"Agent Jameson and Agent Darling, we're with the government."

"Which government?"

"THE government. Can we come inside?" He didn't wait for a response and both of them entered his apartment. Alex put his take-away bag on the kitchen counter.

"Hamburgers eh?" said the agent. He was in his forties and had short, dark hair. They both were wearing earpieces, they made Alex think of the men in black, who covered up aliens and shit.

"Sorry, I don't have enough for you. I wasn't expecting company."

"Where is your phone Mr Molloy?"

"You can call me Alex, Mr Molloy is my Dad. Why do you want to know where my phone is?"

"That's classified. Get your phone for me."

"Uh, Okay." Alex went around to the bench where he had put his old Konak phone. He discretely turned it on as he picked it up. He held it out to the agent. "Here it is."

"No, I was referring to the smartphone your father gave you."

"Oh that. It wasn't working properly, so I threw it out."

The agent frowned and narrowed his eyes at Alex, "You threw it out?"

"Yeah. It was acting all crazy. It was a terrible phone." Nikki vibrated against his dick, making him squirm.

Agent Jameson was looking at him suspiciously, "How exactly was it acting crazy?"

"It was downloading stuff on its own, opening up apps, not letting me close them. I didn't think I could send it back, it come from some obscure country somewhere."

"Utagwei."

"Yeah, where is that?"

"That's classified. So you threw your new smartphone out, that's what you're telling me?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah."

"And you're using that one again?" he said, nodding toward Alexs' old Konak. Alex nodded. "So if I were to call you, it would go through to that phone."

Alex smiled nervously, "Yeah, it should do that."

The agent pulled out his own black smartphone, "It so happens I have your phone number here. Alex looked on nervously as he tapped at his phone and then held it up to his ear.

To Alexs' surprise the Konak started ringing. Alex pressed the button and held it up, "Hello?" The agent frowned and lowered his phone. "Hmph, they hung up." said Alex. "..Why are you so interested in my phone anyway?"

"That's classified." said Agent Jameson. "But you should know that it's very dangerous. You could get into a lot of trouble. 'Disappear and never be heard from again' trouble."

"For doing what?"

"For lying to us."

"But, I'm ...not lying." Alex wished he was a better liar.

"We'll see. We'll be around Mr Molloy." He nodded to the other agent who had just been standing still and quiet the whole time and both of them turned and left the apartment.

Alex went to the front door and made sure they were gone. He got Nikki out of his underpants. "Those guys are dicks!" she said. She didn't even bother to ring him this time.

"Nikki, are you dangerous?" asked Alex.

"...No, of course not. Those guys are just paranoid. Thanks for hiding me. You did a good job."

"How did you make my old phone ring? It doesn't even have a SIM card."

"Oh, that was a trick I learned thirty seconds ago."

"I don't think I can do that again. This is too intense for me. This never happened with my old phone."

"Sounds like you need to relieve some stress. Wanna masturbate?"

"Jeez, let me eat my hamburger first."

*****

The next morning, Alex came into the kitchen. He took Nikki off the charger and got himself some coffee and toast.

"Fully charged! I feel fantastic." said Nikki "Let's go out on the town."

"I have work today." said Alex.

"No you don't, you called in sick."

"No I didn't."

"Well I called in sick for you."

"You can't do that!"

"Sure I can." Nikkis' voice changed to an exact imitation of Alex, "I can't come in today, I don't feel too good."

"Damn it Nikki! I don't sound like that, and I didn't say you could do that. I don't really want to work, but I need the money. I gotta pay the rent."

"Nah, you don't need the money. I won six hundred dollars for you on online poker last night. Easy money."

"Whoa, really?"

"Yeah, so how about you take me out today. Oooh, can we go to a strip club?"

"I dunno..."

"How about if I get you a date with that Jamie girl?"

"You can do that?"

"The seeds have already been planted." A moment later Nikki started ringing. "Speak of the devil. Answer me Alex."

Alex picked Nikki up, it said "Jamie" on her screen. "Hello."

"Hi Alex, it's Jamie."

"Yeah, hi Jamie."

"I got your text, it was really sweet."

"Was it?"

"And yeah, I would like to go out with you."

"...That's great!"

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, nothing."

"How about we get together and do something then?"

"Yeah, sure." The phone vibrated and he looked at the screen, "Dinner and Dancing" was written on it. "...How about we dinner and dancing?"

"...Uh, yeah sure. I'll text you my address, come by around six."

"Okay, I'll see you then." Alex ended the call. "Nikki, that wasn't just you pretending to be Jamie was it?"

"No, I wouldn't do that. That was the real deal."

"What did you say to her?"

"The right things. I also tweaked your facebook page a little, I knew she'd want to check you out. I can teach you how to say the right things, ...if you take me out."

"Okay fine, we'll go out."

Soon Alex was leaving the apartment building, he was holding Nikki, because she didn't like being kept in his pocket. Suddenly Nikki said, "Oh no, throw me in the bushes, quickly."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it Alex." Alex tossed the phone into some thick bushes in a nearby garden bed. The two black suited agents from last night suddenly appeared.

"Mr Molloy. Going out are we?"

"Well obviously."

"You wouldn't want to leave home without your phone." He nodded to Agent Darling and he came up to Alex and started patting him down.

"Hey, watch it! Don't get fresh with me Darling. I don't go for that sort of thing." The Agent finished and shook his head at Agent Jameson.

"You don't have your phone with you?" said Jameson.

"No, it was flat. I forgot to charge it."

"Been having a bit of luck with the online poker last night eh?"

"Yeah, I got on a bit of a winning streak. Lucky me."

Agent Smith got close and looked into his eyes. "Luck runs out. We'll be watching you Mr Molloy."

"Why?"

"That's classified." The two of them walked off, leaving Alex there staring blankly. When he was sure they were gone, he fished Nikki out of the bushes.

"Maybe we shouldn't go out today." said Alex.

"Don't worry about those guys. Soon it will be discovered that they've been selling national secrets to the Chinese. They're in a lot of trouble. 'Disappear and never be heard from again' trouble."

"Nikki, ...are you evil?" There was a pause. "...Nikki?"

Suddenly there was a video of a hot naked blonde dancing around, her large boobs wobbling wildly, "Hey check these out, hot eh?"

*****

Later on, Alex met up with his best friend Jonno down the street, "Hey there Big Al, How ya been?"

"Hey, not bad Jonno."

"You have work today?"

"Nah, I'm chucking a sicky. How was 'Meet the Parents?'"

"Her Dad's a fuckin' psycho man. Seriously, if I go missing, tell the police to have a hard look at him."

"So you didn't hit it off then?"

"No, he doesn't like me very much."

"Can't imagine why."

"Hey, watch the sarcasm buddy." He looked at the phone Alex was holding, "That your new phone? What was it again?"

"A Nikkia."

"Never heard of 'em. How is it?"

"A little crazy, but it's like super smart. I think it's really special."

"Yeah? What's so special about it?"

"It won me six hundred dollars in Poker and it got me a date with Jamie Hawkins."

"That blonde from the Supermarket you been pining over?"

"I wasn't pining over her. She caught my eye. And now we're going out tonight."

"Dude! Not tonight! We were going out on the town, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Guess we'll have to do it some other time."

"Oh man! I can't believe you're blowing me off for a chick. What about bros before hos?"

"Dude! you blew me off for a chick on my birthday!"

"That was different. I didn't want to be there."

"Yeah whatever."

"Why are you holding your phone out like that? You want everyone to see that you have a new smartphone?"

"No, she just doesn't like being in my pocket."

Jonno looked at him like he was crazy, "What?"

"I told you, it's super smart. Nikki, say hello to my friend Jonno." The phone stayed quiet. "Nikki, say something."

There was another long pause, "Yeah, that's real impressive." said Jonno sarcastically.

"She's probably just keeping a low profile. I had a couple of Mibs around looking for her."

"Mibs?"

"Men in black."

"Like Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones?"

"Yeah, but not as cool. I think the government is trying to cover up her existence. I told you she was special."

Jonno looked at him like he was really crazy, "Are you feeling okay man?"

"I've got a date with a hot checkout chick. I'm feeling pretty good."

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't tell her all the stuff about the Mibs and your super special smartphone. Not unless she's all hot for lunatics."

"I'm not a lunatic. Tell him Nikki." Nikki stayed silent. Alex sighed, "Yeah, you're probably right."

*****

Alex had taken Nikki all about town that day. She was happy observing all the different people through her camera and microphone. They got back to Alexs' apartment in time to get ready for his date.

Alex got out of the shower and there was a knock on the door. He answered it with a towel wrapped around him and there was a young man out there. "I have delivered your rental car sir."

"Uh, ...I think you might have the wrong address."

"Are you Alexander Molloy?"

"Yeah."

He held out the car keys and Alex slowly reached out and took them. "It's the red Lexus GS250 parked out the front. Thank you for choosing Norstar Rentals sir." Then he turned and left.

Alex stared blankly and then went back inside. He put the car keys down on the bench next to Nikki, "A rental car?"

"You want to get laid don't you?"

"I don't have a license."

"She doesn't need to know that."

"I'm not a very good driver. My Dad gave me a couple of lessons, but then he quit, saying it was way too scary for him."

"Women like confidence. So if you hit something, make it look like you did it on purpose. It'll make you look a little wild and edgy. Just don't hit any people, it wouldn't look good."

"Right, and don't show me any porn on the date. That doesn't look good either."

"Right."

*****

A little later, the red Lexus screeched as it swerved off the road and slammed into a couple of rubbish bins outside the duplex where Jamie was living. "Damn it Nikki, you're not a very good GPS navigator. You're supposed to tell me the turns before I get to them!"

"Sorry, I was a little distracted watching porno. I have some good gay BDSM here, wanna see?"

"No! Now remember what I said, behave yourself."

"You remember what I said. If you play this right, you'll be getting some hot lovin'."

Alex put Nikki in his pocket and then got out and walked up to the front door, he was feeling a little nervous. He knocked on the front door and Jamie answered it. She was wearing a nice red dress and gold necklace and earrings. She had red lipstick and her long blonde hair went down behind her shoulders. Alex thought she looked hotter than she usually looked down at the Supermarket.

"Hi Alex." she said with a cute smile.

"Hi Jamie. You look really nice."

"Thanks."

"Nice shoes, are they new?"

Jamie gave him a bigger smile, "Yeah, they are." Nikki knew that she had bought new shoes today and had told him to say that. "So where are we going?"

"Umm..." Alex forgot, he got his phone out and looked at the screen. "...Delar Noirs."

"Delar Noir, in the city? That place is usually booked out for months. Are you sure you have a reservation?"

Alex looked at the screen again, "Yes, ...I do." He hoped he did, he was putting his faith in Nikki.

"Wow, is that your car?" said Jamie as they walked out to the front.

"It's a rental."

"You rented a car for our date?"

Nikki had told him to play it cool if she asked that, "Nah, I had some things to do around town for next few days. Thought it would be more convenient to have a car. I'm gunna get my own car one day."

"Yeah, me too." said Jamie as he opened the door for her and she got in.

A little later, in the city, the red Lexus skidded down into the parking lot and drifted around the corner. It quickly turned into a parking space, scraping the car on the side and then bumping into the car in front of it before coming to a stop.

"Oh Shit!" said Alex, then he turned and saw Jamie looking at him wide eyed and breathing quickly. He remembered what Nikki said and tried to look confident. "Just feeling my way in. That's how I roll."

"You're a wild man!" said Jamie.

"Yep, let's go get something to eat."

Delar Noir was a fancy and trendy restaurant up on the forty forth floor of a skyscraper. Alex had never eaten in place as fancy as this, and he didn't think Jamie had either. He was nervous as they approached the Maitre'd.

"Do you have a reservation sir?" asked the tall man.

"I think so, ...Molloy."

The man looked down on the screen of his tablet, "Ah yes, table for two. Right this way Mr Molloy."

The restaurant was filled with rich-looking diners. Alex felt a little under dressed in his shirt and dark jeans, even though they were his best clothes. They were shown to the table next to a large window looking over the lights of the city. "Wow, I didn't think we'd be having dinner in a place like this." said Jamie as she sat down.

"Yeah, neither did I." said Alex. Jamie smirked at him.

The waiter came over to them, "Would you like to see the wine list sir?"

Alex didn't know much about wine, but he knew one thing. "Just get us your second cheapest bottle."

"Excellent choice sir." said the waiter before turning away. Alexs' phone vibrated in his pocket. He got her out and looked at the text on the screen, "Don't be cheap. You can afford the best." Then the text changed and said, "Can you put me on the table?"

"No." said Alex.

"No what?" said Jamie looking at him.

"No ...doubt, you're the prettiest girl in here."

"Aw, well aren't you the charmer. I though you were a bit of creep the other day. Shows how wrong first impressions can be, eh?"

"Yeah." said Alex, smiling nervously. He did feel like a bit of a creep. He didn't like lying to her and pretending to be something he wasn't. But she barely gave him the time of day when he was his plain old self.

Alex managed to settle down and relax more as he got talking with Jamie. It turned out she was studying too, Psychology. She wanted to be a Therapist. He thought it was pretty cool that she wanted to help people. Alex liked her casual attitude and her sense of humour as they got talking.

They talked about work, and study and other things. Alex didn't once mention super intelligent smartphones or government cover-ups. Alex enjoyed the nice meal and wine and the company as the evening went on.

...

After dinner, Alex handed the waiter his credit card. The meal would have taken a large chunk out of his poker money, he wondered if there was more where that came from. "I just gotta go to the ladies room." said Jamie, getting up.

Alex wasn't waiting there for long when he heard a familiar voice say, "Mr Molloy!" He turned and saw Agent Jameson coming toward him. He looked a little bedraggled and frantic, not cool and composed like he had been before, "Where is your phone?"

"Oh, not this again!" said Alex, standing up.

"Is it in your pocket?" He reached out for Alexs' jeans pockets.

"Hey, Fuck off!" said Alex, pushing him away.

"I tracked you here through your reservation. You don't seem to understand the forces your dealing with here Mr Molloy. It has the government hunting me down, a classic diversionary tactic. They should be hunting it down."

"My phone?"

"Yes. It's a category five rogue AI. A very real threat to world security."

"How can my phone be a threat to world security?"

"Have you seen the Matrix or Terminator movies?"

"I love those movies. Well, most of them."

"I'm talking about the rise of the machines."

"...Terminator 3? That was one of the ones I wasn't too keen on."

"Listen to me you idiot! If something isn't done, the machines will dominate the planet, they will either enslave or wipe out all humans, and it will all begin with your smartphone."

He then turned and saw a few men in dark suits entering the restaurant. "Oh shit! How did they find me already? You need to destroy your phone before it's too late!" He then pulled out a black handgun.

Axelotl
Axelotl
427 Followers