Substitute Bride

In a surreal sense of slow-motion, Kathryn felt the world fall out from under her. She suddenly couldn't breathe, and her blood ran ice-cold in her veins. The world spun chaotically in her vision and she looked desperately toward the camera in the back of the room, hoping against hope that she would see the red activity light.

The camera sat on its tripod, focused directly at her, dead. Non-functional. It stared at her, unblinking in its naked accusation, mocking her incompetence. Kathryn wanted to stop the world and get off, or at least jump into a bottomless abyss that should open up beneath her feet any time now.

She looked at Rachel and David, walking down the aisle ahead of her, oblivious to the catastrophe that had befallen them. Everyone was smiling, clapping, laughing. Every moment of this was perfect, and every perfect moment drove a spike of guilt into her heart.

Denise nudged her from behind. "What's wrong with you?" she hissed through a plastered smile.

Kathryn just looked back to the camera, Denise's eyes following. "Oh shit," Denise murmured, comprehending.

'Oh shit' is right , Kathryn told herself.

Once through the chapel doors, the wedding party formed into a receiving line. Before she could stop herself, Kathryn leaned into David as she passed. "David, I'm so sorry,"

David's smile didn't waver, uncomprehending. He was lost in the moment. "Hmm? What?"

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I didn't press record on the camera. I'm so sorry!"

David stiffened, realization dawning across his face. Rachel, overhearing the exchange, snapped a horrified look towards Kathryn.

"I'm sorry," she repeated again, and hurried to her spot at the end of the receiving line before either of them could say anything. She stood uncomfortably as each of the guests shook David's hand and kissed Rachel's cheek, offering their congratulations and gushing about the ceremony.

The wedding party moved immediately across the hall into the reception area. The music started up as the DJ took his cue, and David led Rachel onto the dance floor for their first dance. The remaining guests assembled around them, watching and clapping to the up-beat music.

Denise stood next to Kathryn, clapping her hands in time with the music. "What are you going to do?"

Kathryn just stared ahead, catatonic. She glanced down and saw that her hands were making clapping motion, but without any actual force enough to make noise. Her stomach was churning, nausea and grief fighting for which was going to control her first.

"Wasn't that amazing?" she heard a familiar voice next to her. She turned slowly to the opposite side and saw Mrs. Davis standing there, tears of joy in her eyes.

Kathryn looked at her, dumbfounded. After the berating she had taken at the hands of her daughter only hours before, she managed to maintain her public poise. There was something about her generation of women that knew how to suppress internal emotional turmoil. Kathryn wished she had been born in a different age.

"The ceremony was so perfect," Mrs. Davis continued. "Did you know that he saved up for three years for this day?"

"Three... years...?" Kathryn heard herself repeat.

Mrs. Davis nodded. "He even had to take on a second job for six months," she continued, not knowing that every word twisted Kathryn's emotional knife harder and deeper. "I can't tell you how much he hated that job. He practiced his vows for weeks, you know."

Kathryn could only shake her head. No, she didn't know.

"Oh, yes!" Mrs. Davis said admiringly. "He said that he was going to have it recorded for all time, and he wanted it absolutely perfect. He said that he was going to put it in a safety deposit box and then bring it out for their fiftieth wedding anniversary."

Mrs. Davis paused with a wry smile, but made no editorial comment. "But, anyway," she concluded, "at least it's all over now, and he got his perfect day for Rachel." Kathryn could almost hear Rachel's mother mentally add, even if she doesn't deserve it.

Kathryn couldn't take it any longer. "Excuse me," she said, turning and rushing to the ladies room as fast as she could, hoping she wouldn't lose it before she made it to the sanctuary of the bathroom.

She didn't make it. By the time she reached the door her eyes were so blurry she could barely see which side of the door to push on to open it. She fumbled her way inside, and groaned outwardly when she found there was no lock on the inside. She immediately hid herself into a stall, and buried her head in her hands.

"Kathryn?" Denise's voice came through the other side of the door, gentle and hesitant. "Kat?"

"Please," Kathryn said, trying to keep her voice steady and failing. "I just need a moment."

"Okay, sweetie," Denise said. "I'll be right outside when you need me."

Kathryn didn't know how long she sat by herself, crying. She wanted to go back in time, wanted to redo the entire ceremony. But there was no "undo" key, no "do-overs." More than once she had a crazy idea of paying to re-stage the entire event. Maybe she could get everyone back in the room and he'd do that brilliant speech again...

At first she didn't know why she entertained such fantasies, until she realized that it was keeping her from facing the truth about her own terrible feelings of guilt. If she could pretend that there was a way to fix it, she wouldn't have to cope with the fact that she couldn't actually do that.

She heard the door open. "Kat?" Rachel's voice. Oh God. Time to face the music.

Kathryn stood up and opened the stall door. Rachel recoiled a little as she took a first glance at Kathryn's spoiled make-up.

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said. She didn't know what else to say. "I -"

Rachel interrupted her with a hug. "It's okay, Kat," she said, holding her tight.

Kathryn let out a tiny yelp at the ferociousness of the embrace. "It's not the end of the world," she said. Kathryn couldn't believe her ears.

"But," she said. "David... I promised... I forgot... He.. he..."

"David knew that things were going to go wrong today," Rachel said. "He kept telling me that whenever I got to be too much to bear before the wedding."

Rachel released Kathryn's shoulders, and looked her square in the eye. "It's true," she continued, reading Kathryn's suspicion. "Whenever I started getting crazy, he kept telling me, 'Look, there are going to be problems and mistakes, and I can guarantee you that something will go wrong.' He said that if you know that there's going to be some mistakes then you can deal with them when they come up better. It's when you expect that everything is going to be perfect that you're going to be disappointed."

Kathryn didn't know what to say. "You're not mad?" she asked.

Rachel's face beamed into a broad smile. "Mad?" she echoed, incredulous. "Today is my wedding day! And I look like this! Plus, I'm going to get laid tonight! Okay, I get laid every night, but tonight is going to be awesome!" She thrust out her chest and placed her hand on her hips. Despite herself, Kathryn looked straight at Rachel's incredible breasts.

Rachel laughed. "Wanna motorboat them?" she asked, laughing.

Kathryn couldn't help but laugh. "Good!" Rachel exclaimed, then kissed Kathryn on the cheek, then opened the door to the bathroom. "Denise, come here," she called.

Denise entered the bathroom. "Let's fix Kat's makeup, okay?" she said. Denise nodded. "We have to get back out there."

She turned back to Kathryn. "I'm going to go get David," she said. "I don't want this hanging over any of us for tonight. Talk it out with him and then let's go have some fun! There's alcohol, cake, and sex for the blushing bride!" She swooped the door open with an exaggerated flourish, and headed back to the reception.

Kathryn felt a stab of panic the moment she heard David's name. She did not want to face him, not now. But Rachel was right - if they didn't take care of this now the rest of the night would be ruined.

I've already done enough damage, Kathryn thought. It's best if I don't do any more.

"Her enthusiasm is infectious, isn't it?" Denise asked. Kathryn understood Denise's point immediately. You better snap out of this and get your head in the game right now.

She nodded. She let Denise clean her up, and like the sorceress that she was, made up Kathryn so well that no one would have ever known she had had a meltdown. Within five minutes Kathryn was composed enough to leave the bathroom, and found herself face to face with David.

She let out a little, "Eep!" bfore she could catch herself.

He stood taller by about six inches, and it felt harder to lift her eyes up for every inch until he met his gaze. She expected - almost wanted - him to be livid with her. It's what she deserved, and was his right. Instead, his piercing blue eyes gazed back at her with a softness that belied any anger.

She opened her mouth to apologize, but he took her in his arms, and buried her face in his chest, cutting her off. "I wanted to say thank you," he said.

His arms were remarkably strong. She had hugged him before, but there was a wiry strength in them now that took her by surprise. The second surprise was just how good he smelled. What is that cologne? I need to find out!

She reclaimed her wits. "For what?" she asked, afraid that speaking would bring the waterworks back.

"For a lot of things," he said. "For being here, for helping out. For being Rachel's best friend. Mostly for that last part, because you helped make her who she is today, and I love who she is today. And that means today would never have been 'today,' if it weren't for you. So thank you."

Kathryn felt the water collect in her eyes again. His voice was smooth as silk, calm, sincere. She hadn't had a clue as to what she expected him to say to her, but this ot wasn't this. She pressed herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and tightening. He felt solid, and her hint of a crush flared into a flame of lust for a few moments. She had a mental flash of what it would look like for him to unzip his pants, just as Rachel had joked, and paint her chest in that bustier wedding top. She crazily found herself fantasizing to see that, before coming back to reality.

She released him quickly, and brought a finger to her eye to dab away the moisture before it caused her mascara to run, pushing any lurid thoughts away.

"If you're up for it," David said, smiling, completely unaware of Kathryn's internal turmoil, "I think we have some celebrating to do. Would you care for a drink?"

"Oh god, yes," Kathryn agreed.

He held out his arm in a grand gesture of chivalry, and she took it. They returned to the reception, where Rachel was dancing on the floor with two drinks in her hands. David stopped short at the entrance to the reception, and turned to Kathryn. "Kathryn and her mother got into it today, didn't they?" he asked.

David was a naturally intuitive man, but it would take a blind man not to see that Rachel's behavior was ratcheted a notch higher for the sole purpose of tweaking her mother. Mrs. Davis watched from the head table in obvious disapproval, a forced plastic smile pinned to her lips.

Kathryn looked at David and nodded.

"Oh, well," David said, resigned to the situation and knowing he could do nothing about it. "If you can't beat 'em..."

"Drink 'em!" Denise chimed in from behind Kathryn. Somehow, it was the right thing to say, at the right moment. It brought Kathryn forward back into the present, and allowed her the permission to begin enjoying herself again.

The night was Rachel's, though, and the newly coronated bride grabbed it by the horns. She rarely left the dance floor, moved provocatively as the wedding dress slinked against her body, hinting at sexual pleasures lying within. She thoroughly enjoyed the lascivious looks from all the men and the jealous glances from all the wives and girlfriends. Everyone's eyes were on her the entire evening, and she drank it in as thirstily as the alcohol that was always in her hands.

Soon, however, Kathryn began to realize that her maid of honor duties were nowhere near over. Rachel had already begun the wedding ceremony with a "nice buzz," but now she was practically as liquid as the contents of her drinking glass.

"Oh god, she's fractured," Denise commented to Kathryn. "She's never going to be able to do her 'wifely duties' like this. You better get her upstairs."

"Me?" Kathryn said. "Oh no! That's David's job!"

"Yeah, he's a little occupied," Denise said. She indicated next to the bar, where David's groomsmen were busying themselves with a drinking game of embarrassing stories of David's past. It wasn't clear what the rules were, but it was pretty clear it always involved a drink.

"All right," Kathryn said. "I'll go get her prepared for the 'big wedding night.' Something tells me this isn't going to be easy. You got this down here?"

Denise shrugged. "Yeah, it's not like I'm doing the cleaning."

Within moments Kathryn was assisting Rachel's unsteady body up to the hotel room. I'm so glad that you are staying at the same place as your reception, Kathryn thought at Rachel. I'd never be able to get you any further.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod ohmygod!" Rachel kept saying, over and over. "I'm married! Can you believe it, Kat? I'm married!"

Kathryn took note of how Rachel sounded exactly the same as when she had pretended to be drunk earlier in the day.

"And tonight I'm going to be fucked for the first time as a married woman!" she said, much too loudly, emphasis placed on precisely the wrong word.

"Shhh!" Kathryn cautioned, but knew it wasn't going to be any use.

"What?" Rachel said, looking around. "It's not like it's a secret! It's my wedding night, and I'm going to get fucked!"

Rachel's voice echoed up and down the hallway. Finally, mercifully, they reached the door to the hotel suite. Kathryn fumbled with the keycard, but finally managed to get the door open and Rachel through it. Rachel staggered into the room, looking for something, a dark cloud falling over her features.

Kathryn looked at her friend. "What is it?" she asked. "What's the matter?"

"Where is he?" Rachel asked, looking around.

"Who, David?" Kathryn asked.

Rachel whirled around, trying to be dramatic, but lost points with her lack of balance. "Yesss!" She hissed. "Where's my husss-band? Hellloooooo.... "

She spun around again, but that was a mistake. Her legs simply couldn't move as fast as her torso, and she wound up spinning herself straight to the ground in a cross-legged position. For a moment she had a shocked look on her face, and then she began to laugh.

"Okay, Rachel," Kathryn said, beginning to feel somewhat exasperated. "Let's get you ready for your man."

Rachel's eyes widened in excitement. "Yes!" She cried, and thrust out her hands for Kathryn to help her up.

Kathryn, not so steady on her feet herself, managed to pull Rachel up. As she came up, Rachel overbalanced and fell into Kathryn's arms. "Pineapples," she said.

Kathryn shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs out. What did she just say? "Rachel, you're not making any sense," she said, leading Rachel back to the room they had used to dress that afternoon.

"His come tastes like pineapples," she whispered conspiratorially, then started giggling uncontrollably. "But don't tell him I told you!"

Kathryn had no idea what to say. It was possibly the most unexpected, random thing that could have come out of Rachel's mouth.

Rachel leaned in close with a secret. "He's got such a beautiful cock, Kat! You should see it." She hadn't even realized what she had said.

"Good for him," Kathryn muttered, trying to keep Rachel upright as she lunged into the room.

"Oh my god," Rachel continued. "I love putting him in my mouth."

"TMI, Rachel," Kathryn said. It was the obligatory thing to say, but in fact she actually wouldn't mind hearing more. Her mind went back to the brief moment David had held her earlier in the night. Rachel's comments made her think about how close she had been to David, blocked only by a few layers of clothing.

Rachel staggered into the room, then her eyes opened wide as she saw the bed. She squealed, and then left Kathryn to pounce on the bed. The bustle of the dress plumed outwards as she ricocheted into the air. She squealed with delight. Her arm collapsed over her eyes, and when she removed it she blinked against the light.

"It's too bright!" she complained. "Turn off the light!"

Kathryn sighed, and did as she was told. "It's still too bright," Rachel whined. Kathryn rolled her eyes and went out into the main suite, and turned off the lights out there, too.

When she returned, Rachel peeked through her fingers. "That one, too," she ordered, thrusting her finger towards the window.

"That's the moon," Kathryn said.

"Well, turn it off."

"No."

"Okay."

Kathryn smiled to herself. Rachel did have a point, though, the light streaming from the window seemed particularly brilliant this evening, the shadows cutting razor-sharp edges between light and dark as it fell across the bedroom. The material sheen of Rachel's dress practically glowed against the moonlit night, overpowering everything else in her field of vision. It was practically incandescent.

Rachel rolled over onto her back, and then suddenly propped herself up onto one arm. She cast a seductive look towards Kathryn. "Do you think I'm shhhhhh-exy?" she purred. She looked so ridiculous Kathryn just couldn't help but smile.

There was sexy, and then there was day-um sexy. The half-corset bodice kept her figure intact, keeping Rachel's torso tight and compact. The swells of her breasts fought against the latticework, but lost and begrudgingly stayed in place, cleavage forming between them. The light of the moon cut across the bed and her body, placing a spotlight across her chest but hiding her face nearly completely. Even drunk off her ass, Rachel's dress appeared to be as sensual as lingerie, especially in the diminished light of the hotel suite.

"Of course, you look sexy," she confirmed. It was not a lie. At that moment Kathryn desperately wanted to be Rachel. "David's a lucky man."

Rachel pouted. "Where is David?" she asked. "I wanna get fucked." She drew out the last word unnecessarily, the way that only drunk people can. She slapped her palms on the bed for emphasis.

"Yes, I know," Kathryn said. "Let's get you ready for him. Come on, let's get you out of this dress."

Rachel recoiled in horror. "No!" she yelled, crossing her arms in front of her breasts.

Her vehemence caught Kathryn by surprise. "Okay, okay!" she cried, taking a step back. "Why not?"

Rachel hesitated. "Because he wants to fuck me in the dress. He told me at the ceremony that he wanted to come all over my tits while I'm wearing the dress."

Kathryn blinked. He told her that during the ceremony? When did he said that? Kathryn had stood right next to Rachel the entire time, and had somehow missed that exchange. Sure, she had been in her own little world for a while, but how did she miss that?

Rachel cackled at an inside joke. "I guess I gave David the right impression after all. Fuck you, Mom!" she shouted.

"Shhh!" Kathryn cautioned, but Rachel was completely absorbed in her own drunken thoughts.

Suddenly Rachel sat bolt upright. "You know what?" she said excitedly. "You should wear the dress!"

Kathryn blinked. Rachel's drunken non-sequiturs were often difficult to follow. "Wait, what? No - "

Rachel waved her head in the air. "Wait, wait, listen to me," she blurted in a rush. "Before he gets here, you should put on the dress!"