All Comments on 'Suburban Underbelly Ch. 01'

just an addition to let you know that THIS TIME I was able to access all of the story...Literotica fixed itself...

ILienBagby

This first part has plausible characters. The story line kept me reading along. I am looking forward to the next section.

Might be nice to break a long sentence used to develop a situation into two or three smaller ideas.

WOW Good premise for a story, well You did tell me, didn't you.

Great so far, excellent that you didn't let the guy let the girl get raped, way to go. And a great way to render someone compliant, too.

Will read the next part soon, you know I've got to run my fledgling empire too, you know.

Working on that organizational chart idea, I've got to learn to delegate.

This story had enough humor and exhuberance to balance the very good sex and also the "heroism" was properly real and funny but still tense. Excellent story.

A good start, but it jumped too quickly to Mimi.

A little fast paced but I managed to maintain control, heading for chapter 2.

These characters are so genuine, and this story is fucking hot. I can't wait to read more!!

A good old fashioned sex story for a boy to wank to.

Keep it up.