Svetlana in Olive Drab

Pete heard her accent and wondered a little which Eastern European country that she came from. Her English was pretty much perfect, though.

He smiled, "I'll help you. It's what the people around in these little places do at times like this."

He looked over at the clerk, "Pat? If you don't have any coffee on, then make some please and I'll pay for the whole pot. This lady is almost blue, and I know that I sure need a cup."

"Please," she said, "I was looking for a company which does this ploughing. I do not want you to spend your time --"

She stopped as she saw him shake his head with a smile, "I don't have much of anything but time these days. Please don't make me lie and tell you that I have just such a company -- because I will if I have to. I don't have a thing planned other than a light dinner and there's loads of time to do that. Just warm up here a little and we'll go get my snowblower. I don't know how long your driveway is, but I don't think it'll take all that long."

"But my car is stuck too," she said, a little despondently.

"And I've got a tow-rope to get you out with," he laughed, "The only price to you is a cup of coffee that I'm paying for. You're really looking far too cold to have to walk all the way back -- and it's almost dark now. I don't mind at all. My name is Pete. You can ask Pat there if she knows me."

"Pete's ok," the clerk grinned, "About the only bad thing I can say about him is that he's a little late returning his video rentals sometimes, that's all."

She glared at him pointedly after that, and Pete jumped up to walk over, since he was there in the first place to return the movie he'd rented the evening before. He pulled the case out of his pocket to put it on the counter.

He asked the woman how she preferred her coffee and he handled that to set the paper cup in front of her at the small table, "Here you go, uh, ..."

"Natalia," she said, trying to smile a little, "Are you sure that it is not asking too much? It is a long driveway."

He didn't answer for a moment, still finding that he liked the way that her name was spoken -- Na-talia.

"Huh? No, not at all, Natalia. I'm sure it won't be any trouble at all. I was just thinking that you're dressed a little lightly to have marched all of that way. You can't really do that out here -- especially once the winter really sets in. I've only got this jacket, but it's lined and it's made for this. I always keep a parka in my jeep out there just in case."

"I think that you are right," she sort of half-smirked with a bit of effort, "This is my first winter here."

"Well if you want to live long enough to have a second winter here, then you ought to think about these things a little. You just need an old winter coat in the trunk. That and a pair of mitts, and you'd be set."

The coffee didn't last long, but Pete made another two for the road and they were out the door. A few minutes later, and they were backing into his driveway -- which was no short thing either at about a hundred yards long, though most of it was overhung by trees on either side.

"Wait right here," he smiled, "I've just got to get my snowblower onto my trailer and then get it hooked up and we'll be off."

It happened pretty much as quickly as that, though Pete did run back to the garage for his spare gas can, just in case.

He found her Cavalier well stuck, but he had it out in only minutes. "I can tell you, since you're new here, that you need to keep a shovel in your car and you've got to approach your driveway a little carefully from now on. You never know when the plough driver will sneak over to plow you in around here. It's just something that you get to live with. I see it when I come home and I make a point to look in the morning before I go, just in case."

He looked up the drive then, "That looks like a wide space there by the garage to turn around in," he said, "or am I wrong?"

"No," she smiled a little, "that is exactly what it is. How did you know? Can you see through snow or something?"

He shook his head, "That's just what I thought that it might be. Can I pull ahead into there with you following me? That way, you're at home and I can just get started on clearing the snow."

She nodded and he drove in, pulling his truck and trailer off to the side. Natalia parked and went into the house to get changed into some jeans and boots and a better coat, and then she began to try to shovel what she could.

Pete stopped her and reached into the back of his jeep, "Here," he smiled, handing her a snow shovel, "This will do a better job and save your back at the same time."

Then he was off, the machine roaring and the snow flying off in a heavy white curtain. Natalia stood there for a moment as she watched him partially disappear into the darkness until he was just a vaguely humanoid silhouette in the glow of the snowblower's headlight.

She found herself smiling a little bit. He was very attractive and pleasant.

But the moment passed and she started in on the shoveling, though she was very thankful that he'd come into the store when he had.

He ran out of gas once and pulled the snowblower back to his trailer to re-fuel it. As he did, he noticed that everything had been shoveled off neatly, other than where his truck and trailer stood. He only looked for a moment, but it was enough to tell him that she was very neat in the way that she shoveled snow at the very least. He doubted that he could have done that if he'd had a laser to mark out the edges for him.

Then he started the snowblower again and he was off to do the rest.

But he hadn't looked at the house.

If he had, he might have seen Natalia looking out at him from the darkened livingroom window. She watched him again for only a minute before she walked away, wondering now why she'd done that.

When she heard the machine's roar drop back down to an idle and stay there, Natalia pulled her boots back on and grabbed her coat. Pete was a little surprised that she was there to meet him.

"I have some hot soup," she smiled, "Please do not try to tell me that I must have a company to do that or I will lie -- or something."

And then she shrugged a little helplessly and laughed at herself. "Please have some with me? You have helped me to feel better when I just had nothing anymore."

Pete nodded, "I think I'd like that, Natalia."

He followed her into the house and then he stared for a moment at the huge sprays of flowers adorned in black and dark purple ribbons there in the living room as he passed the doorway. He'd seen things like this before.

"They are left over from my sister's funeral yesterday," she said very quietly, "She died last Thursday. I am European. I could not have left them there, not after how much they cost. I would give anything to make time go backward just a little bit."

She seemed to have shrunk just a little to his eyes and she looked to be near to where she'd been when he'd first laid eyes on her that afternoon.

"Oh my God," he whispered, "I'm so sorry Natalia."

He stepped forward and afterward, he couldn't really explain what had happened. She looked to be maybe two or three inches shorter than he was, but right then, she looked so much smaller. He meant nothing by it, other than to offer a little support in her grief as he'd reached out to touch her shoulder. He'd wanted to say that if there was anything that he could do, ...

But somehow at his touch, something happened and he found her against him and weeping softly.

He didn't mind at all. He just found himself wishing with all of his heart that he could force the hands of time backward, however far she needed them to go. Instead, he very slowly took her into his arms and they stood there for a few minutes. During that time, neither of them spoke a word, but by the end of it, he knew that she had no one else.

He lowered his head after a while so that her ear was just against his lower lip. He was surprised that it felt so good to him to do that, as though it was helping him at the same time.

"What happened, if I can ask?" he whispered, thinking that the question was a fine one -- for an idiot to ask at a time like this, but she didn't seem to mind much.

"A car accident," she sobbed softly, "Nikky was my only family, ... I am here because she asked me to come and live with her here. Now I don't know what to do about anything anymore. I have no family back home. My husband died when I was twenty-two. I do not know anyone here. I have only been here for eight months. I think they will deport me. Nikky was my sponsor to come."

"I don't know about any of that," he said very softly, "Though I think that I'd like to help if I could somehow. I could try to find out, if you haven't already. It might be better if somebody else asks."

Her head pulled back then, "I offered you soup." She wiped her eyes, "Please, let's eat."

The soup was obviously just that, but it was a beef soup with a lot of heartiness to it and Natalia had a platter of buttered buns of some sort there to go with it. Pete knew that he wouldn't be needing to eat any dinner that night.

"Where are you from Natalia?" he asked, wanting to lighten this, "Your English is really good and other than a general idea about your accent, I've got no clue as to where you might be from originally. Wherever it was, don't they let you get married more than once?"

"I am from Romania," she said, "But growing up there when I did, everyone learned Russian because we had to in school and a lot of the students learned English also. I can speak German as well.

My parents were drunkards and I ran away from home when I was almost eighteen. I had my young life planned out, but then I met Jerczy. We got married and he started working in a factory. Then I became pregnant - and then Jerczy became a drunk like all of his friends. I lost the baby, but I found Nikki wandering the street looking for me one day.

I was going to leave my husband, but he died before I could. After that, I wanted nothing to do with men again."

She looked at him, "You don't drink, do you? I cannot see it in you."

Pete shook his head, "No. Who the hell can afford it? Well I suppose that I could, but it's not worth the money to me. I probably only have a six pack of vodka coolers over a summer and another one over Christmas, ... "

He looked at her and the way that she was looking at him then and he just went for the laugh, since they both seemed to need it, "I mean -- no, oh hell no. I don't drink at all."

Natalia laughed at him then and he felt relieved enough to be able to smile back at her.

"Forgive me," she said, "but, ... is there a Mrs. Pete? And if not, then why not, if we are telling of our lives."

He shook his head, "There was, but Maggie died of leukemia last April. I was going to tell you that I found it best to get rid of those flowers just as soon as they begin to die off. Keep the vases if you want to, but ditch the flowers. I couldn't bring myself to do it until it was too late and the sad way that they looked then made it even harder for me. I couldn't stand to look at them --even while they were still in bloom and pitching them that far past their prime just made me think of death."

"I am sorry to hear this," she said, "Did you have any children? You and, ... Maggie?"

Another shake of his head, "She had a condition that prevented it and after a few years, her doctor advised her to get a hysterectomy. I never really cared -- other than the way that something like that can hurt a woman to have to face. I was fine as long as I had Maggie.

It's been a little, ... well, a little um, ... empty without her."

There was a bit of a silence then as they ate until Pete said that he really liked the soup.

"It is an old style to do it," she said, "I think that some people must still do it this way here, too. I boiled some soup bones last night and I made it from that. But I put it in the fridge to eat tonight. I have not been in the mood to eat much lately."

She reached across the table to take his hand for a moment. She didn't feel uncomfortable at all with him and it was one of the things which amazed her a little about him. She doubted that she'd have offered anyone else more than some money for their help. Other than this, she hadn't been in any sort of mood to even be a little near to any other human being and this -- to ask a stranger into her home -- well it wasn't like her at the best of times.

"I do not know how to thank you for all of your help, Pete," she said very quietly, "but I hope that I can tell myself that now I know someone here."

He nodded with a small smile, "I think that I've been pretty much a ghost for a long time now. My friends used to call now and then to ask if I was alright, but, ... somehow, I just wanted to be left alone. Looking back now, I don't think that it was the best thing to do. I haven't heard from anyone in a while. It wouldn't really surprise me if they've given up on me.

I am very pleased that I met you, though."

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"What will you do now?" Natalia asked him as they stood by her door, "Your driveway looked the same as mine did before and it is almost ten o'clock. You have to go to work tomorrow, no?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "but it's not really a problem for me the way that it was for you. By now, I'm sure the plough has been by, but all I need to do is shovel a little so that I can get my trailer in. I'll just do that and park it all. A little snow like this is pretty much nothing that I can't deal with tomorrow when I get home. My jeep won't care, not with those tires and four-wheel-drive. I'll be fine."

"Your shovel!" she remembered, but he shook his head.

"Keep it, Natalia. Really, just keep it. I have another one just like it in the back of my car and only about, ... oh, forty-three more in my garage. I think they've been breeding in there over the years. I won't miss one shovel, but I know that you need one, and I'll feel better knowing that you've got one now."

"Thank you for everything, Pete," she smiled, and before he knew it -- and really, before she could even stop herself -- her arms were around his neck and she was hugging him. It lasted only a second, but in that time, he felt her light kiss against his cheek and he smiled down at her for a moment.

The moment was a little rough for her, but she forced herself then, knowing that it she didn't, she'd be kicking herself later.

"If it is not any trouble," she began, "What time do you get home, usually? I think that someone like you could use a good meal. I have the feeling that you can cook and you are not helpless, but I wish to do something. You have spent hours tonight helping me and a little soup is not enough."

Well, the soup had been plenty, as far as Pete was concerned. He hadn't had anything like that in a good long while to eat. But Pete wasn't an idiot, and he had a feeling that she was trying to find a way to spend more time with him, and he didn't mind that at all. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Give me a number where I can reach you -- if you wouldn't mind, Natalia. I sometimes get out of work at three and sometimes at four-thirty. Either way, it's about thirty-five minutes to drive home. How about I do a little grocery shopping and we can make something together at my place this time? I dunno, I just sort of had the thought."

Natalia did her level best not to beam at him. The truth of it, she admitted to herself, was that she'd been so distraught the past few days and, though the timing of it wasn't right, with him, she was ready to grab onto anything.

Something, just anything to be able to function again. She'd been a wreck and was off work on bereavement. But Natalia knew herself. Without something or someone like Pete, she'd just wallow and she had no idea where it would lead -- not anywhere good, likely.

"Can I ask you for a favor, Pete?" she asked after giving him her cell number and checking to make sure that he had it right.

He nodded, "Sure, What do you need?"

Natalia thought that it was a rather apropos way to put it, and she found that she was even thankful for that. "It felt so good to me when you hugged me before. I am not really ready to come out of my shell yet, but I know that I must somehow. I want to cook a dinner with you tomorrow -- whatever you wish for -- but I might still, ... I might, ... cry a little."

She took a bit of a breath then and she looked up at him, "I think that I just need this. Wherever I look in this house, I find myself almost seeing Nikky. It happens all of the time to me. I have even spoken out loud, thinking that she is there, ... and forgetting that she cannot, ... be there."

She was in his arms again after that, weeping again as he held her on the driveway. Pete was fine with it, understanding perfectly. He told her so in his whisper into her ear. It had only been a few days for her, for God's sake, he told himself.

So what was his problem then? He'd buried the love of his life a little over six months ago.

Why was he crying as well?

It took Natalia a few moments to realize that he was weeping too, and somehow, that made it worse for her and better at the same time. They hung on to each other for a long time after that, both of them sobbing a little, and both of them feeling a little foolish -- especially Pete.

They stopped after a time and then they pulled back to look at the other one's tear-streaked face for a moment.

Natalia spoke first. She shook her head almost imperceptibly and then she whispered to him, "God bless you, Pyotr. We both have our sadness, but you have made a friend in me."

She stood on her tiptoes then and she kissed him very softly on the lips and he returned it for a few moments.

She stood watching as he walked to his jeep and after being a little amazed at the ease with which he got it turned around, she waved goodbye as he drove off. He saw the motion in his mirror and he waved back.

When he got home, Pete found that the bastard plough operator had well and truly walled up the entrance to his driveway and he worked up quite a sweat to get it dealt with, since it had frozen in the meantime. He pulled his truck in and got things put away before he had a shower, wishing that he knew where that asshole lived.

He knew a dump truck operator and he didn't think it would be too much trouble to convince him to drop a pile of fucking gravel and road sweepings there one night.

He had some trouble falling asleep after that. He thought about Natalia and her situation for a time. Then he thought about her.

Then he really had trouble sleeping.

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Natalia found it hard to get to sleep as well, not that she'd gotten a lot of that the past week since that terrible day. But she found that she could cry much easier now and that the crying didn't seem to hurt her as much to do now, and she thanked Pete for that, though she didn't really know how he'd managed to make it better for her somehow.

She just knew that he had.

It was such a strange thing to her. She supposed that at any other time, she might have felt a little interest in him since he was so very good-looking to her. But she also knew that at any other time, she'd never have done what she'd done tonight. She'd have backed away and hidden herself a little. Men weren't for her. She'd decided that a long time ago.

Nobody was for her. It was just easier that way.

But now, at almost the worst possible time, she'd met somebody like him, and for the first time in so long, she felt a little hope for herself.

And here she was, still a ripped-up, weepy wreck.

The timing of this was awful.

But she knew at least a couple of things. She felt so thankful to him for his help and more than that, he'd helped her far more than that, likely far more than he knew.