All Comments on 'Sweet Emily'

The basic story is OK but your dialoguw needs working on. People don't talk like that!

This is one of those stories where the girl is intended to be underage, but her age is just kicked up a few notches to meet the Literotica standards. Eighteen year-olds generally do not skip down the street or sell cookies.

It should have been written from the girls point of view! She should have been saying how wonerful it was and how she wanted it. Not him say she wanted it. If turned around to the girls side, it would be a great story!

Isn't this the same story as your "Corrupting Emily" story? Also, please proofread before posting. Among other things, is his name "John" or "Dave" because you used both. The idea was good, but the end result needs work.

I thought this story was brilliantly written. I think, however, that there should have been a second girl besides Emily.

If she's only 18, and she acts a few years younger than she is... this is very thinly veiled pedo wankfic.

It makes a very big deal of the girls "youth" and "innocence" being attractive, not her actual appearance.

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Well written

aglais (I can't comment as Lit user)

It would have been much better if you had let Emily describe how she felt. To just tell us how she felt felt cold and prideful on your part. It would have been more meaningful to your audience if you had.

First his name is mr Miller, then it's John, then it's Dave?

Lost me with the many names - after she was asked not to call him Mr. Miller. Not much here except the presence of a young girl, just turning into her teen years from the story comments and words drippppinnnnggggg ooffff the pagggeee.

Most of us readers have a lack of tact, lack of a feeling for literature. We never stopped to think that the author of the story itself, left implicit or explicit gaps, so that we authors could create paths and dignified literary directions to the characters with our imagination.

So instead of forming mean and ridiculous criticisms, use your energy and imagination to develop a decent course, a final direction to the characters that have gone out of purpose.

Think about it.

Just simply pathetic

Pedophile

18 year old don't act this this

How's your new naby

Good story, it is just fiction folks. Well done 4 stars

So is he John or Dave?

Lost me at "Dave".