All Comments on 'Taking Cara's Business'

I'm amazed I'm the first to comment on this! It's an excellent piece of writing. Your attention to detail was superb - I remember especially the sensation of the tiny pool of sweat beading at the base of her spine. And the whole thing shrieks authenticity. It feels real - and so it's fascinating. I accept that it also demands a degree of patience from the reader. It isn't pornography (I post pornography here; I know what that is) - but it seemed to take me into a state I hardly knew existed, and I got a glimpse of what is presumably a significant reality for some people. I don't claim to have understood the experience she goes through completely - though I was actually alarmed at the moment when the dominant rolled Cara's vein between her teeth, and I suppose alarm is a kind of understanding. I've gone on too long, but I recommend this to others - not as a stroke story, but as a piece of fiction that succeeds in touching at least a morsel of truth. I think it deserves a respectful, leisurely reading. Thank you for the story.

Wow.

Just holy wow.

There are so any layers in this piece and I know I must come back and read it again when I'm less tired, but I know it is superb. Subtle, delicate, sensitive, compassionate, brilliant. Writing to die for.

This is one of the most remarkable pieces of writing on Lit. Way up there with dr_mabeuse, maybe above him. You're now on my favourites list: I hope that helps others to find this wonderful piece.

This is such impressive work I barely know what to say. Absolutely stunning, hooked me from the very beginning and still hasn't let me go. Very anxious to see more from you.

and extraordinary.

This is a very original and imaginative piece and your writing style is extraordinarily good. I hope you write more.

Submission, pure submission. At the hands of a true artist. Three artists in fact. Siobhan, Cara, and Swinters. Thank you for your brilliance of conception and expression. Truly hope to see more of your work. Perhaps you cannot top this one, but just getting close would be truly outstanding.

I am not utterly certain that this is erotic writing. Yes, it is erotic; but eroticism is not at the core of it. It's a story about pain, and about connection. But how perfect an evocation of a hurting person, a locked person. Such lambent prose. So delicately and elegantly limned. This is very, very fine.

I want to be Cara, to be in her skin, to be in that room with Siobhan, to be stripped down and broken in and made to understand. All that fear being stripped away until she is nothing.

And I want to be able to pull my readers into the experience like you can. I feel like I am just recovering from leaving that room.

I am glad I was pointed in your direction. I look forward to reading more of yours.

I think I forgot to breathe at some parts.

Please write more. Please!

I forgot to quibble. Magnificent, as if Sigmund Freud became a female vampire. Unbe-fucking-lievably hot. Make sure you have fire insurance for your word processor, it must be burning up.

This is simply GORgeous: "Her silence is beginning to operate like a vacuum, sucking more and more words out of me even as the seed of awareness forms in the darkest backest recesses of my brain that I should really stop talking—"

as is this: "Silence pools around me as I finally dry up. It expands, spreading out around my feet until it fills the room."

Not to mention... okay, okay. I'd better stop before I quote the entire story. But I should also add applause for the fresh way you allow the story to unfold.

Oh. And let's not forget the deliciously mounting tension and the searing sensuality.

Thank you for sharing this glittering gift of a story. For sharing your gifts as an author.

You have an incredible talent for description, but I think there can be too much of a good thing. This story could easily be 1k words shorter and all the better for it. Long paragraphs and detail on detail on detail eventually becomes a detriment, even when it's well-written.

That said, I don't think it's fair for me to rate this anything but five stars. It is very good.