by xelliebabex
I almost didn't look at this story, because I don't think a writer can be very good if they misspell a word in the title. I did recognize you so I read it, but seriously.
Rain : water that falls from clouds
Reign : to rule a kingdom, such as a queen
Rein : the strap used to guide a horse, such as she took the reins to guide her horse farm.
...on taking charge? Or was it a mid-spelling?
A good read all the same
Sorry...after passing through the hands of three copyreaders, the story still has a huge gaffe like this in the title?
I didn't read it, so I didn't rate it, but you're not doing yourself any favors by not checking the title as well as the text...
I'm glad that a couple of the previous anon posters were not advising the Beatles.
Somehow Beetles just doesn't have the same effect.
Please ignore the typical anonymous spelling police comments. It was a wonderful story! Looking forward to your next one.
If you write it I will read it. I love your as I call it voice (author writing style)and story lines. There is something about your voice that just grabs my attention. Keep writing and you will always have a faithful reader in me.
Thank you those people who left me such lovely comments I cannot express how appreciative I am. I guess my attempt at a quirky title didn't appeal to everyone but as they say if we all liked the same things the new discoveries wouldn't taste as sweet. ~ellie
I'd read a sequel.
Now I'm off to see what else you've written! Thanks for writing!
I would love to read a sequel to see how they save the place.
I am looking forward to reading more of your works. A sequel would be lovely!! As for the title I thought is was a play on words which was perfect.
First comment on word accuracy got it right without meaning to...she was trying to take control of her kingdom. The play on homonyms was cute. Some of us caught it. :). Sweet story. Nice to see nice people finish well.
The quality of the story-telling shooed out any minor grammar or spelling problems.
It was a bloody good tale, although I mentally wanted a bit where Kerrick got his comeuppance.
HP
I love this story! I mean who cares if you had spelling mistakes! You deserve this! It's such a great story. It has everything. It's not your typical story. I love your writig, it feels like you're part of the story. The characters are so personable. It was just so real. Nicely done.
Great story! I loved it. To all the negative Nellies who just want to harp on your (very few and not distracting) grammatical errors, I would love to see them write a story of this depth and development in another language that was not their first! Well done, small minded people will always try to beat you down, don't let them win.
I absolutely adore this story. It built up nicely and realistically as well. Please do a follow up on the relationship between Tom and Alyssa??
Thank you so much to everyone who read voted and took the time to leave me a comment, I really appreciate each and everyone of you and I have never been so surprised and excited as when i won. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Quality writing, good story well told and sexy with it!
The plot and characters developed the evolving love of the many people in it. I thought it the best story of the contest also. Please give us more. I'll be watching!
And can Kerrick be served his comeuppance creatively & nastily? :D
Thank you for such a great story!!!
I hope you're planning on writing a sequel to this story, one has to wonder what becomes of the Godiva girls... personally, I would love for Alyssa to claim more freedom. Rather than being protected by the men in her life all time, it would be great to see that she fights Kerrick on her own - and wins ;-) Thanks so much for this submission, it was a pleasure to read!
The pun in the title was actually kind of clever, but it was undercut when you used the same misspelling in the actual story, making it look like a mistake rather than a deliberate pun. That said, the overall story was good, if a little too obviously in need of a sequel. Very little was resolved properly, and far too many story threads were left hanging. It's not cool to set up a nasty villain like Kerrick and then have him just disappear. Also, and this is more a general recommendation than a complaint, you might work a bit more on showing the characters' feelings rather than telling them.
Good work. Keep writing, and I'm confident you'll do some great work in the future.
Gravyrug has it right.The second use of, 'reigns', instead of ,'reins' lost the title its,'Pun', status. Neverthelrss, a good story, even though Alyssa could have been a little more assertive!Also, as someone else has remarked, the Godiva Girls and Kerric have not been brought to a sufficient conclusion.A sequel?
You picked a great place to end the story should you choose that route. So much better than all of the unfinished works you've deserted in progress. Thanks for a good read.
It would be good if you knew the difference between "reigns" and "reins" !
But a non-ending! I feel just "rode hard and put away wet". What happened to the rest of the story?
I don't know if the spelling is notably different in Oz, but a horse has reins, which the sovereign Reigns.
But it's a nice story. Really.
Thank You,
HP
I just wish there was some resolution to all the issues that were raised.
and Tom came on way too strong.
Love the way characters are developed and the tension builds. Great job keeping the various threads developing without tangling them. Would love to read a followup!
He said he feels he wasted his time. Nope. You could indeed have written a full ending, but I loved the way you left it where you did. You left us wondering, and you allowed our imaginations to complete things for you.
(If you decide to do a sequel, I'll gladly read it!)
A really fantastic story.
Since English is not my native language, I have been forced to translate some words I did not understand from the Australian variant of English. The result has been good, since I have understood the story in its entirety.
The title has been perfect to my understanding, as it perfectly describes the story.
The development of the plot has been very correct, the part of explicit sex has been the essential, since the story did not deal with sex (which I greatly appreciate in Romance).
And the end is very good, besides being open for a feasible continuation of the story.
I must admit that this story has reminded me a lot of the film Australia, Nicole Kidman with Hugh Jackman, for the part of the Kidman fight against macho men.
Really, this story deserves the 5 * I give to you.
I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.
Overall this is a good piece of writing however there are too many unresolved issues for me to feel like the story is complete. I would like to have seen Kerrick get his just deserts. And find out how the farm and filly did in the end. Like others have said I did enjoy what I have read but was left wanting by your choice of ending.
I loved this one (like pretty much everything you write)! I like that you didn't tie up every loose end. It would be so fun to have a one year or five year later brief update where we hear about how great the farm and the filly did, they're married and making babies and Lou and Marcie are together, etc. Although, I guess it's not totally necessary since I just decided their future in my head based off past experiences with your stories and my own optimistic nature. I'm sure anyone with even a spark of imagination can figure out a suitable ending! :)
I would like to demand but knowing how big of an idiot I would sound like I shall PLEAD that you continue this very, very great story. You are a talented author. So please continue this story.
Both the writer (and the horse). Pardon the dreadful pun.
Absolutely enjoyed the story, the characters, the farm & the happy ending. However, please let it not be an ending. Another couple of chapters would tie up any loose ends.
Please say you'll consider it ? Regards, S
Hello. I have noticed that you don't describe your characters' appearances in most of your stories, which is a bit of a let down as when you are reading you tend to picture the couple or the characters in your mind. Im surprised none of your editors have mentioned this to you before..
A truly lovely story - read and enjoyed by:
ONE MILIION, SIX HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN THOUSAND, ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE PEOPLE!!
Oh, and me.
Thank you so very much.
Jules ☺
I meant to hit 5 stars but got 4 instead. This is a 5 star read. Well done
I gave it 4 stars just because the writing seemed a bit off and there is some jumping aroud in the ideas (not so consistent as the rest of your stories) all in all its a nice story thank you
Fairly well written, though with a number of glaring grammar mistakes. Also, the switch from "friend" to sexual partner and lover is too abrupt, not believable. The strength of the story lies in all the ancillary characters (Harry in particular).
4* because it was annoying to read a story where the author doesn't know the difference between reign and rein. Otherwise the ending was a bit abrupt.
I beg to differ with Anony who complained that you didn’t give enough description of your characters and so was unable to visualize them. It seems to me that allowing the reader to use their own imagination is far better, perhaps even putting themselves into the story. As a faithful fan, I happen to think that the way you do everything is perfect! Now another chapter or two about all three Godiva Girls would be gratefully received. Thank you for sharing your talents with us.
Good story that deserved a better end other than using nudity and selling herself to keep the place running!! Harry seems to be running a whorehouse
Where to start? The author not knowing the difference between rein and reign in a horse story? Or maybe a clueless central character that we want to be in command but seems to ditz from problem after problem, or the nonsensical media caricatures?
I get this was about Nude day and for a site competition, but it did seem to be a very very long winded way of doing it, and tbh in the end she wasn’t actually nude (G string). Very contrived and didn’t flow very well imho, plus I had almost zero empathy for any of the characters. 3⭐️
Fantastic story 5***** do with it had better ending story was very well explained thanks
As long as the story was a proper ending would have been in place. As now it is unfinished so I won't judge it. Finished it would be a 5 but since it is better than 4 I won't judge it. I liked the story but got a bit pissed off at the ending ;-)
5stars but bit of strange ending it could have done with another page to finish it
Overall a good romance story, but so many plot threads mentioned and then never explained or solved. Just seemed to end 1 page too quickly.
So, there must be a sequel coming. The gal could stand some more notoriety. The Filly could win a race or two. Carrick could get his come up and since he probably has horses that would race against the philly. Her Ranch hands could catch Kerrick alone and have their way with him, Kerrick could meet Tom where Kerrick could get his comeuppance...
It was stretching my imagination a bit and Tom came across as a bit weak and a bit creepy.
By the way, horses reins are spelt like that, REINS there is no "g".
How to save a run down business …. 😃 ….. absolutely great idea, well crafted fabulously written tale ….. god yeah gaining respect in a men’s dominated league is nerve wracking , but “with a little help from my friends …..” …… just marvelous
💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝✨☘️