All Comments on 'Talla's Temple Ch. 21'

Of course the goddess felt their mesh and that will have consequences, but hell, I say it is worth it. I think Talla and Zhair'lo are special, even considering they are goddess born. Might be the gods working through them.

Happily waiting for more.

The action, imagination and erotic of the first chapters is now replaced with conspiracy, talking and wondering. I liked the beginning better.

and looking forward to the next instalment

I really like this.

This is an erotic fantasy of the young -and dont we all wish we could be so young again- and the characterization is very good. I actually like the political intrigue and conspiracy. Then again, I liked "the preacher man" and before even finding Literotica, "dune." When have sex and political intrigue not gone well together? =3 I look forward to the continuation of this saga in its intriguing and sexy world of fantasy.

I have read every instalment on this story, I do hope that there will be more to follow! Thank you so much for sharing!!

You guys would be the wind beneath my wings, if I had wings - which I don't - not even labia.

But anyway ...

Thanks for the encouragement. The next chapter has been submitted.

The Totalitarianism in this story is disturbing, I realize it is fantasy but I find myself glad that Talla and Zarhlo finally meshed again. I feel like they got away with something but that remains to be seen. This has been one of the better chapters. The premise of the story with women controlling men with sex is actually not so far from the truth of today.

i must agree with the anonymous commenter about how totalitarian this whole world Talla and Zhair'lo live In, it almost feels like a much more sexually-driven version of Orwell's 1984.

Should I be calling the women of the Form discipline "Big Sister" now, I wonder?

Everyone is happy in this brave old world..

Except for a couple of malcontents. No one counts them.

They just have to get with the program.

I would not compare this with Orwell's 1984 but rather Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Thoughts are not controlled, after all. Brave New World is a happy place for most, but not all.

I've been reading several chapters in row, not so much for the erotics than for the plot.

1984 based itself on a more technocratic dictatorship. A medieval empire simply doesn't have the technology or, in place of technology, the spare womanpower, to pull off that level of surveillance.

But they can do what medieval empires always did, with varying degrees of success: indoctrinate and punish severely.

This really isn't 'medieval', though. They have the history of men dominating women, etc. Doesn't this fit the weird, but quite common in SF/Fan, era of post-apocalypse, return to horse power, agrarian society?

That's the vision I immediately envisioned as you set the scene.

Something I find interesting is the mental image I have of the 'virgin' rank girls. Try as I might, I see them as barely post-pubescent in physical stature, not 18-19 year olds. Makes it a bit tough at the sex scenes. It might be something to keep in mind if you consider attempting to publish.

Come that eventuality, (more likely, if the quality remains at the current level, that 'inevidibilty', you might want to invest some time expanding the physical descriptions, with some backgrounds added about why they don't develop physically the same as we do now. Our post-pubescent secondary sex characteristics are hormone driven, so it would simple enough to come up with a plausible reason Talla and her peers are without the necessary surge of hormones responsible for hair growth, breast development, muscular development, etc.

For your premise of the 'upgrades' to work, one has to accept the body's normal reaction to physical stress, (tissue growth), is not at work in the females. Though, you also describe the 18-19 year old males as underdeveloped, in spite of the physical work they perform.

It reminds me of the sub-group of males, in our culture, which are 'late bloomers'; staying small in stature until their 20's, then growing and filling out like a teen.

Good tale, thanks for sharing your world, and thanks for all the hard it takes to produce an adventure of this magnitude. Well done, kudos.

GeoD