All Comments on 'Taylor in the Treehouse'

You are in way too much of a hurry. The build up is the best part of a story, and you had none. Try again.

The pace was frantic and disjointed....you say topless in one paragraph and then that he was taking her bra down in the next.... how can you see her pussy dampening THROUGH her skirt.... and so on....

The premise is a good one, but as already suggested, SLOW DOWN and flesh out the action with build-up, details and emotion!!

Read what you have written BEFORE posting it to see whether it flows properly!!

You obviously have a complete lack of experience with sex which is compounded by a complete lack of writing ability!

This is one of the worst submissions I have ever had the misfortune to read on here. I suggest you give up any ideas you may have of submitting any future stories.

I suggest you go out and get laid a few times before you submit any more stories. Your first attempt sounds like a fourteen year old lying to his buddies.

I can't say I disagree with the criticisms of others, but this isn't much worse than some of my first attempts at writing. You need to draw the story out and let the tension build before the sex. You also need some help from an editor, or to read some of the 'how-to' articles here on writing and formatting -- or both. If you'd like some help or advice with editing your next story, email me. But don't give up writing. The more you write, the better you'll get.

I must agree with epiphany. You shouldn't give up in your attempt to perfect your writing. That being said, let me tell you that you were way off base at many levels.

You should learn about sex, women, parents and the hotness of a slow hand on a fast woman. You do sound somewhat out of your element. Have you ever really had sex? If not, you should do some research and do as epiphany advised. "You also need some help from an editor, or to read some of the 'how-to' articles here on writing and formatting -- or both."

You had a great premise for a good story but you ran through it so fast, it became a waste of reading time. Sort of like swallowing whole chunks of food without chewing through it.

Don't give up. Your prize is a well written story that we will all enjoy reading. You can't win it if you're not in it.

Just awful. I punched myself in the dick after reading that garbage.

STFU everyone. EVERYONE! This is my first time writing on here but NOT IN LIFE. and fucking YES I've had sex before. I mean COME ON. I'm not the 40 year old virgin jacking off to stories on a website. I only decided to TRY 1 time & NO i'm not stopping writing. STFU ALL of YOU and get some real sex!

This was a very entertaining read, only surpassed by the joy of reading the comments posted by readers and your response to them. Keep it up. Reading this really made my day. Better than Monty Python.

If you had drawn this out a little it could have been a really sexy thing. It is totally a lost effort.

you will delete all stories and STOP WRITING FOREVER.

It is a very good story, I hope off hose that true, you got my cock hard fast, stroking and jacking off real good, You should go in much more detail of you and your cousins having sex It is a wonderful start you should continue this.

Jon

well you did stop writing seeing as this was written in 2011, could have been a goo dtory but rushed