by DavidMcenroe
... but it could be better. And WHAT part of the male anatomy is the 'prostrate?'
I believe you mean the 'prostate.' Well intentioned, but fell well short of the mark.
Anny nonomous.
And if you can't love them, at least get into their panties.
You should spend more time on the modeling. This was simply too fast. It needs more of a buildup.
The story was ok. I'm a regular reader and the story could use some more intensity and lust. Other stories I have read were better. This one coule use a little more sex in it hope you have a sequal with more.
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Some of the worst, most unrealistic dialogue ever! Sorry, but people, (real, human, non-cybog people), just don't talk like this.
Good start - could be the beginning of a very hot story. Please continue !