All Comments on 'Telepath King Ch. 12'

You have written about his ability to "control everyone in this country" but there must be some limit otherwise there is no conflict to create interest.

You're rambling a bit. Still not a bad chapter, but tighten up and be consistant.

spend so much time making Gary into a friend to send him away almost immediately? How does Jennifer know his name at the end? Little slips are showing.

Can't wait for the next chapters! Ignore the other comments about the story line. it's working so far.

Okay this is it. The proverbial 'last nail in the coffin'. I can't take it anymore. I'm disappointed, frustrated, irritated, disgusted and all that other shit too. There is no fucking rhyme or logic to either your or your characters' thought process. I kept hoping you'd somehow redeem this story but I can see now that it is not to be. Soam done. You my dear author really suck as a writer.

Strange , he asked for five Irish girls , then suddenly they have been waiting for him? It's as if the story changed mid chapter :(