All Comments on 'Ten Seconds'

A bit on the short side, but it has everything to make a complete story.

Quite the surprise ending and I liked it.

Thanks for the read.

and agree a wife is one thing. But a daughter has its own Complications and most men will forgive a daughter and never forgive a wife.

I would forgive my daughter pretty much anything, granted that I knew my cheating wife didn't give birth to another man's child. Wow, check it out. An idea for another tale.

Soon. Very soon.

daughters only more so, TK U MLJ LV NV

For a story. Adultery and murder are both given priority in the morality code by being elevated to the ten commandments. In modern law, murder stays up there, but adultery doesn't. Many don't agree, including your characters. I'd like to see you expand this into a real story.

Likeable, but way too short.

Finish the damn story, don't be a lazy assed bitch!

I enjoyed reading your story.

Thank you.

It's good to see you back, I've been looking for a new story for some time.

This one has the essence of a short story, it's short. I loved the fact that we don't get to hear the subject's life history. It's not necessary. Everything we need is here. Likewise with our hero's own marriage, that's another story. The basic premise, that we can forgive our children for almost anything, is one that I like to see explored.

Great job. Welcome back.

Excellent work. I missed your stories. Keep them coming.

There should be a law that forces guys like you to submit a story every week, just like ss06, sometimes stories don't need a lot of detail to be brilliant.

Well done, keep these coming I along with many others look for your name to find consistantly terrific stories on this site.

Thank You

May be your finest work. Exceedingly well done short story. The first twist is handled impeccably. Thanks for a great read.

A minimalist monochrome sketch with a mere hint of red.

Perfect for a Sunday breakfast. Took me by surprise with its twists.

Great to have you back on the board.

I didn't get this part. Whose marriage? I'm at my wit's end and sure I've missed something..

Ignoring this confusion I'm not sure lover boy really deserves what happens to him. We don't know enough about his knowing that Helen is married. Good writing and as experimental as always. 4*

I want to thank you for treating a societal cancer like Mike in the same manner the disease is, cut out and discarded like the waste it is. Wish more authors would take this tact, perhaps instead of rewarding this truly ugly behavior real and dire consequences would eventually end such predative character flaws.

Witless, really, really? He wrote the note as if it came from her husband. Wow.

So...you have NEVER flirted with a married woman. Because currently, that is all he is guilty of. He FLIRTED with a married woman.

Now...if you have ever done that...you know...FLIRTING...and we use your metric, you should be dead for your 'predatory' drive.

And also using your metrics, it is purely up the however bat shit crazy the husband/father/cousin/jilted boyfriend to determine when you 'cross the line'.

Feel good about your past?

Mike deserved SOMETHING. Death?

No.

The subject matter is prevention. Pro-active dealing with potential disaster. I happen to side with FD45 that is does not rise to the point of death violence. But I disagree with FD45's characterization that it is flirting, after all he has her bra in his pocket and that rises above mere flirting. Is any violence (physical) required? The situation may warrant it in the long run but not at the point at which we have been exposed to the story. Certainly verbal violence such as a dire threat of physical violence is warranted and administered by George. This story is about the degree of justifiable intervention. We do not know the details of the father's dealings with his ex-wife(deceased?) and therefore the level of violence for which he is currently willing to deal out. In any case any form of violence would still be illegal no matter how justified. I gave this *****.

was written (on scene) by the father who disguised his hand-writing to look like Helen's husbands? And it passed muster, she was completely unaware. An incredibly skilful piece of graphology! I get it now thanks Lookin4it.

Nipping it in the bud is a great way to do things. For those who say that all the guy was doing was "flirting with a married woman", he was KNOWINGLY flirting with a married woman, unless she took off her rings and that wasn't mentioned. No, he knew. It was even stated that he had a history of flirting with and fucking married women. Yes, he would have to be, ahem, "taken care of", so to speak, for trying to mess with a Don's daughter. I grew up a good part of my life in New Jersey. Rule #1: Do not fuck with the Don's daughter.

5 HUGE Stars.

Different, and worth the read.

By the way, those wondering about the handwriting on the letter? Who said it was handwritten? Nobody. Britease just said it was written. Could have been typed.

Father saw daughter pass bra to Lothario who put it in his pocket, whips out his portable typewriter,...

You're the one that picked the apt name...you're an idiot. Post as Anon, it suits you.

I must disagree thinkingman, predators like this are, as I stated, a cancer to society. They have little or no regard to others and should be removed. Scaring them doesn't work in the long run. It's the thrill of danger. When danger catches them there really needs to be payment...payment in full. I'm a believer in capital punishment, perhaps you are not. I don't believe that it us a deterrent, simply a way of removing disease.

Congratulations. And many thanks.

If sombody is on SOL I recommend them a gem story from Flavian "Biggest and Best". It is better than DG Hear's story "Cheating Spouse" on this genre.

where Mike gets popped. Author ain't that crude. Could justa been a whipping and to put him in the fear of his life but Brit is hinting at some seriously ugly done deeds regards the ma of his daughter, who now is obviously genetically inclined to be a tramp (ma's side) and a fucking psychopath (pa's side) I mean do the poor hubby a favor guv if you care about him so much and usher him out of your scum family.

Of course the note was typed witless as a Don he's access to all club amenities won't take a moment to slip into the backroom and knock out the necessities. Ahem. A five star story demanding a lengthy epilog.

the fucking idiot Looking4it picks a fight with a commenter gets his ass handed to him and responds by appointing himself god of literotica and calling and spouting genocidal soap. WHAT A CUNT!!!

Ouch, cut me like a butter knife.

Genicide huh? Does that mean that asshole predators are a racial or ethnic group? Are you personally a lothorio who prey on marriages and take my beliefs personally?

Actually FD I am quite at peace with my past, thank you very much. How about ?

However, the story infers that he is a serial predator, this is not a caudal meeting at a party or the like, and he has ownership of at least a portion of her undergarments. This is farther than a simple act of flirting or chance meeting. Perhaps you feel the consequences fall to an apparent weakness in the women and for the men it's simply a hunt that should provide fruitless if the marriage is stable. I disagree with you and if that pisses people off then do be it. If calling witless a moron pisses people off too, so be that as well. Doesn't make it less true.

The beauty of a flash story like this is both what is said and what isn't.

The basis for interfering is stated up front:

"...the success rate of that bastard...known to me."

One phrase to establish cause. Mike was under observation, he'd been vetted and he was a serial seducer. This is not a story about what should happen to men who prey on other men's wives. It's a story about stepping in to keep your daughter out of trouble, and what happens when you endanger the DAUGHTER of a dangerous man. Very different situation.

As for the letter - who cares how it was written? It was delivered by someone other than her husband. It could just as easily be written by George. The only thing that DID matter was the elegant trap within the letter:

" Leave and go home, and we'll never talk about this 'incident' and our marriage will continue, otherwise all hell will be let loose."

No matter how it is 'written' it is clear that it is FROM her husband, and if she wants to have her marriage continue, she won't speak of the 'incident' and the real husband is blissfully unaware his wife was tempted.

Again, what happened to the man Mike, who messed with the wrong daughter? It's a flash story, not a play-by-play. The man was dealt with. Framed and in prison? Neutered? Eliminated? Hideously scarred? It doesn't matter. He's out of the picture and won't mess with HIS daughter again, or any other daughters.

Artfully done. Enjoy.

Thanks for the effort.

Didnt see the twist coming. Well done! Five stars for sure.

As has been commented, I never said that 'Mike' was killed, or even injured. You can speculate, or even make your own mind up as to how he might have been dealt with. Ditto the wife. She may be living in a squat in Liverpool or somewhere crying her eyes out because she's lost the love of her life. Then again ......? My aim of this little tale was to pose the question, especially to the BTB enthusiasts, what's the difference between a wife and a daughter, both of whom you love, if you catch them cheating? I would guess you'd all forgive your daughter( ??? ), so is there possibly a case for forgiving your wife? Your decision of course, not mine, and by the way, it did happen to me and the day I found out, our marriage didn't last till supper time. But that was partly because of the circumstances. Another thought for you. As in this situation, if you found out your daughter was cheating on her husband, would you tell him? Possibly not, but if you found out he was cheating on her, then would you tell her assuming you liked the guy? Food for thought maybe! Comments welcome and by the way, it is nice to be back.

1 To change wife after the children above 18 years easy for a newer mate. My fetish is to change cheating wives to new better wives/mates.

2. To change DNA relative or not relative children is difficult, but it is not impossible.

Because Slirpluss showed it well look at: "The Price of The Forgiviness".

All right. The most cases the parent has to help his kids and he does not the funtion to be bad news massenger for the son of the law. Here in the story he did well. He told his daughter his opinion and to prevent a cheating occasion.......his role was this and not a bad news messenger. The most BTB stories the husbands do not accuse their father in law with conspiracy or not to tell the cheating. Nobody waits from this service from the parents in law against the PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting story. Well done.

I'm confused by your superior intellect and there are words and phrases in your comments I'm too fucking stupid to understand...

- it us a deterrent - Genicide - lothorio - How about? - caudal - then do be it etc etc.

But I'm not pissed off at you attacking me. I love it. I'm looking forward to our battles which will be endless and nasty, I'll be like a fucking pitbull that doesn't know when to stop but you won't be able to do fuck all about it. Do you get where I'm coming from you human fucking turd?

Nice twist to this story. well done.

Very well done. A good message.

....than a son-in-law and protégé. 5 *'s.

TapMan poses an interesting dilemma. What does a 'made man' do when a son-in-law does the same thing to your daughter that you did with your wife...for the same reason? Do you go 'all Daddy' and treat him as you did your wife (hypocritical solution) OR - do you acknowledge that your 'little baby' deserved exactly what she got (heartlessly consistent!)???

Wonderful (and complete) story, Britease! Efficient!

Did you get your 6 yo to help you write that retort witless?

For sharing.

How do you treat your daughter?

How would you want YOUR daughter treated if she was stupid enough to cheat? Want her disfigured? Stuck in a basement? Publically humiliated? Beaten? Her reputation ruined forever so she will never again find a 'decent' man...you know...the kind who doesn't CHEAT but is willing to go all gangster on her if she steps out of line?

Is that the type of son in law you want?

Granted, we would ALL like to only associate with perfect people (so they can forgive OUR imperfections for one thing...). Unfortunately, there is not a man or woman born who was perfect (theology aside). So...what do we want for our daughters? What does a wife's father want for HIS daughter? And if you were stupid enough to cheat...what part of the basement do YOU want to be stuck in? How much do you feel YOU deserve to be ruined?

Thought provoking questions. I think the story needed to be a bit more fleshed out to bring these questions to the forefront...or I'm slow today.

. . . in answer to your final question, but that's not the whole of the story. I particularly enjoy this type of short story with so much in the unknown. I call them vignettes. They are easy to read, quick to absorb for the most part, but a well written vignette can float around the reader's brain and show a different facet, ask a different question. This one somehow reminds me of a painting by Monet. It reads more than a bridge over a stream.

Is this like a British thing ? "Daddy's response make sense IF this is a one time thing ... but as we read in the story helen appears to be a serious flirt and seems to WANT to cheat...

so is PRETENDING that nothing happened.... and keeping the husband in the dark a solution?

hasnt the husband been n th dark all these years?

Writer keeps up the suspense and ends with a sweet twist. Story is a superior entry to this category.

(but didn't like all the nasty comments.) A father helping a daughter not make the same mistake his wife did. Great read, Thank you, And I really liked the short format. A 5***** from me, Thank you, Jim

Good read.

very far from the tree, TK U MLJ LV NV

Short but to the point.

Was sure that she was his wife!

Nice twist to the story.

Good story, as usual, almost always with a twist...

would have loved to hear that the bastard that tried to bust a marriage was castrated, and fed to the fishes, otherwise he'll bust someone else's marriage.

You do the flash thing so well! Latein, early out and a lovely twist in the tale.

5*

yes

Great

A preemptive strike, to save the daughter from trouble. That's what fathers are for.

I agree, a father will always be more lenient & protective of a daughter than a wife; blood to blood. 5 *****

and get to fill in the picture ourselves.

not with details and minutia, but with gaps and questions. Each reader will create their own image. only a well written story sets the stage for this to happen.

Every wife is someone's daughter.

and the compare--contrast about wife and life. TK U MLJ LV NV

But it does beg the question: what prompted daddy to follow his daughter? How did he find out? And if daddy knew, how is it her husband didn't?

Work it out else for now it is nothing more than an idea.

... though at this moment I can’t remember the title or author, though I think it’s something like “A Father’s Love” and maybe by jezzaz - but not sure).

Again, brilliant. Fit everything into so few words.

Thanks - 5-stars

Point made well and quickly. Like the mystery you left.

5*!

Hooked

Very well done. You're the master of the short and sweet, and this is one of your best. No more needs to be said; nothing needs to be 'fleshed out.' Narrator is a man of few words and decisive action, and the story suited him perfectly. "What would you do for a daughter," indeed.

GA.

Guess everyone got the word on this.situation. No questions.

It was okay but I think it could have been great with just a little more info. If you weren't going to answer the question about the wife, you shouldn't have brought it up.

5***** даже Гугл не смог это испортить!

When I married my wife, an only child, 50 years ago I never felt like a son-in-law. I was the son they never had. Would Pop-O do this for his daughter and me? Damn, right he would and may the Lord have mercy on the poor bastard who hurt his beloved daughter’s marriage to his “son”.

I liked that very much. Very creative. Good job!

you had me going and then the nice twist, great read

I've tried with several of your stories, but they all just stop. I read a story to be told a tale, not have to make up the 'what happened next' myself :/

Mike got his, permanently, so to speak.

If he is so powerful and smart and "schooled" the husband how is it the husband was in the dark?

Britease is a master of the misdirection and twist. After second read, this is added to favorites.

Loved it, certainly fooled me

Lovely work.

Good story. Did daughter learn her lesson?

Too many "huh whats?" for me.

5star. Nice work there....pity more fathers can't be there to correct course when a daughter is about to be shipwrecked.

I get that Britease was trying to mislead us into thinking that the woman whose behaviour the MC was observing was his wife and it was meant to be a clever twist that she turned out to be his daughter. The problem here is that Britease tripped himself up and messed it up with one sentence: "Leave now, go home and we'll never talk about this again and our marriage will continue". OUR marriage? Bad form, old chap!

It wasn't a mistake on Britease's part. The father tricked Helen into thinking that her husband had caught her and wrote that note. The proof is that when she comes to speak to her father later in the story she says, "Glen's found out and will throw me out." The father wrote in the note to go home, pretend it never happened, and never mention it so that Glen's behaving normally as though he doesn't know would make sense to her. He probably figured that Helen wouldn't obey the note if she knew her father had written it and not her husband.

It was a good story with a nice twist at the end. George sounds handy! We should all have one hanging around to help out.

Great perspective and creative plot

I do like this story!

Whole different set of circumstances when it's your flesh and blood. Forgiveness is easier and maybe the silly bitch will listen.

Nicely done.