All Comments on 'The Amber Pendant'

Absolutely one of the most erotic stories that I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Thank you for sharring your unique talent with all of us who read your story.

Layla

As an avid reader of MCStories.com and an admirer of SmallnCute's writing in general, her foray into MC was pretty much guaranteed a top rating from me. And boy oh boy she earned it. Loved the little bit of ambiguity at the end that is so very much part of Small's style.

As a "fan" of miranda's, I enjoyed this story immensely. She asked me to read it,and I kept putting it off. Now I wonder why in the world I did that. It makes me want her to hypnotise me.

Hypnotised by the premise, by the quality of writing, and of course... by the sex. VERY hot

Where is part 2?!!!!

"our friend ship, though still strong did drift"

perhaps an anchor would help?

"I found myself reading books in a book shop, but upon graduation had never given it any thought until his tragic death."

What an odd place to read books. But, as you think about it now, after his tragic death, you could next try a library.

"and well her legs were clad in leather boots, and a skirt, and a light cream V neck top."

those certainly are well clad legs. I am picturing them now in the V neck top.

"I looked down at her, . . . each time my eyes wondered, they would return."

those pesky eyes, I wonder what were they thinking about? But no matter where their thoughts took them, it is good they came back. We would hate to have them lost in thought.

"to express their love, their affection there desires"

I'm sorry, where exactly were the desires?

and so on, and so forth, etc., et al.

btw: was Adrian aware Miranda was exploring her bi sexuality while they were married?

Good story, but very badly told.

You should not use commas at all until you learn HOW to use them.

...but I felt you need an editor. Rightbank's examples were rather pointed, to point of sarcastic rather than constructive in tone, but he/she does pick up on the key ones. For me, it's the little things that repeat I'd suggest you watch out for: e.g. using 'of' instead of 'have' (I could of - when should be I could have) and 'to' instead of 'too' (it was to much - when should be was too much). These were quite distracting. A good editor would help you remove both types of error: i.e. Rightbank's observations and mine. Having written all that, I found it a wonderfully erotic mind control piece. Liked the ending too, as others have commented.