The Awakening

But I don't know. I mean I know why I think I'm here and I know what I think I want. But beyond that, I know nothing. What am I supposed to do now? Grandma would say I'm supposed to stand up and walk out of the house and just keep on walking.

But he's standing there in front of me, holding a can of beer out to me and smiling. Not a hint of doubt in his mind. Have I given him the impression that I know more about this than I do—that I'm fully sold on this? What should I do now?

But I don't really have to do anything. I take the beer. My hand is shaking so bad I'm afraid the beer will slosh out of the can.

"Don't be scared," he says. "I'm going to treat you right. I've waited all summer for this."

"I don't know. I'm not sure . . . ," I squeak.

"I walked into this room naked and erect and you're still here, aren't you?"

"Yes," I croak.

"So that means you know, that you're sure."

He takes a deep draw from his beer can, and, mimicking him because I can't think of anything else to do, I do the same with mine.

Then he takes the can from me and sets both of them down on the coffee table. And in one fluid motion he sits down close beside me; puts an arm around my shoulders; and, cupping the back of my head, brings my mouth to his and pushes his tongue between my lips. His taste is beery, that isn't a bad taste. His other hand is palming my belly, which feels like jelly under his touch. But it doesn't stay there long. It goes directly to my basket, grabbing my dick through the material of the gym shorts. I, of course, am still hard. Which tells him all he wants to know—about what I want and what he can do with me.

Although all of my senses are pinging off those two locations—his tongue inside my mouth and his hand gripping my dick, my mind is racing. What am I supposed to do? Where do my arms go? Am I supposed to reach for his crotch too?

In the event, I'm immobile. And Mr. Crabtree doesn't seem to care. He's doing what he wants to do, and I'm not resisting. So, for him it's all good.

I have to say that, as guilty as I now feel, so far it's all good for me too. This despite the voice of Grandma in the background telling me just to pull away, stand up, and get the hell out of there. I can even hear her voice screaming, "Get the hell out of there!"

He grips my hair and tugs my head back. I feel the pain of it, but it's exhilarating. And it's offset by the sensation of his lips now at the hollow of my neck. And then on my throat. On my right nipple. His teeth tug at the nipple. The rumble of a whimper comes up from my belly and I groan. I hear him laugh deep in this throat, and then he's working the other nipple.

His hand is under the waistband of my shorts, gripping my dick, flesh to flesh. How in the hell . . . when did he . . .? I moan deeply.

"Please, please," I whimper.

"Yes, I'm going to be very good to you," he murmurs. "I'm going to fuck you good. Young stud. Love fucking young studs. I can do you good."

Has he misunderstood me? What in the fuck did my plea mean anyway? He said fuck. I said fuck. Oh shit. He's going to fuck me. He's going to fuck me! Oh shit, oh shit! I pant hard and moan deeply. He's slow-stroking my cock. Just the way I liked to do it. Just the way that aroused me the most, the fastest, when I did it myself. But someone else is doing it. A man. Not a boy, a man. Magnificent body. Could fuck anyone. Wants to fuck me. It means a lot that the guy doing me has a good body.

"We'll take our time," he says. "I'll do you right."

His dick's going to be inside me. Can I take it? How much pain? It's huge. Did you see it? It's a monster. You who? I'm hyperventilating. He's going to stick all of that inside me. Oh god, what am I doing?

I only now realize that I have a hand wrapped around his cock. He's breathing hard now too. He's moaning now too. I take my hand away, but only by commanding it to do so in my mind. And my hand has a mind of its own. Rather than withdrawing, it has laced his balls between its fingers and is gently tugging on them.

"Oh shit, yes," he moans. "You're good at this. We're gonna have fun. I'll fuck you good, baby."

Good at this? I've never done anything like this before.

His hand leaves my cock and I feel that arm coming around under my waist, as he moves lower on my body. My torso is twisted toward the arm of the sofa, and I lose contact with his balls and, not knowing what else to do with my arms, I raise them over my head and dig my fingers into the underside of the sofa arm that my head is now resting on. I arch my back and gasp as he takes a nipple in his teeth again. He lifts and tugs at my torso, pulling me into a reclining position along the line of the sofa. He's crouched over me on his hands and knees. I like what I see in the curving and bulging of his muscles. I'm glad the guying doing me first has a great body—a man's body.

His mouth moves down my sternum to my belly button, where his tongue does a darting in and out tease. Both of his arms come away and his hands are at my waistband, pulling the shorts and jock strap down and off my legs. He lifts my right leg up and moves it to the other side of his torso, trapping it against and rising up the back of the sofa.

He scrapes the fingernails of both hands down my chest and belly while taking my dick inside his mouth, and I arch my back and give a gasp and a little cry at the twin shocks and pleasure of these sensations. He sucks the bulb of the cock hard and I groan loudly. He is humming and I can feel the vibrations all through my body. His lips slide down the sides of the dick, once, twice, three times. My arms arc down to grabbing the back of his head.

I don't know if I'm trying to hold him to my crotch or force him away. The sensation of his sucking is overwhelming. I had no idea it would be like this. I had no idea how much pleasure could be gotten from it. If this is fucking, fucking is heaven.

But this isn't really fucking. Not yet.

He's tugging on my balls with one hand. His other hand glides up my body to my chin. A thumb is at my lips, and I suck it in, slurping it. Not knowing in the least what I should be doing, but knowing from the sounds he's making that he's happy with how it's going.

But he's going to fuck me. He's going to stick that big thing up inside me—and pump. He'll rip my guts out.

"Please, please," I whimper again.

He takes that as a request to pump his mouth harder on my cock. Down. Gasp. Up, groan. Repeat. His slick fingers are at my rear entrance. I start involuntarily to buck as they enter me. I feel crammed, full, and I've seen those fingers. And I've seen that much bigger cock. He's going to stick that inside me. Oh shit. Oh, fuccck! What's that the fingers are rubbing? I've read about the prostate. I've read what you can do with it. I never knew. Oh, fuccccck!

"I'm going to come!" There's no way he understood me. His thumb is stifling any ability I might have had to form words properly.

I'm writhing, bucking, trying to let him know he's taking me beyond any control I might have.

And then I come.

He rises off me, laughing, cum dribbling down his chin. He rises over my body and goes into a deep kiss. I have my own cum in my mouth. It should be disgusting. It isn't, though. I suddenly feel very weary, glad that it's over but satisfied too—in a way I've never felt satisfied before. My cum tastes salty. Not much more I get from it than that.

But it's not over.

"God, I like them young. Young stud like you will be up for it in a couple of minutes again," he mutters, and then he laughs.

And then he is crouching over me again, but our bodies reversed. His hands are rolling my butt up and his head is disappearing between the orbs. I feel his tongue run down into my crease and find the rim of my entrance.

I pant and moan. His cock pokes at my cheeks and my eyes. Then he finds my lips and I have little choice but to open to it and start doing whatever I can imagine is done in sucking a cock. He's not objecting.

I'm lost for several minutes with my attention focused both on what he's doing at my ass entrance and my attempts to accommodate and suck on his cock. How long has this gone on? How much longer? How much arousing pleasure can I get? Can I give?

He turns me on my belly along the couch, with him sitting beside my waist. I don't know where they've come from, but there is a string of attached condom packets on the coffee table and a bottle of what I assume is lubricant. I'm still trying to regularize my breathing, but I just can't bring it under control.

I watch him in fascination as he opens a packet, extracts a condom, and rolls it on his cock. "Yes, going to do you real good. Fuck you to heaven. Beautiful young body," Mr. Crabtree is muttering as he slathers lubricant on his sheathed cock.

This isn't helping to regularize my breathing.

He's going to fuck me. With that huge cock. "Jump up and run!" I hear the voice of my Grandma. "It's not too late!"

But if I do that, it might be too late for what I think I want in life. There's got to be pleasure in it. Maybe not the first time. But eventually. There are guys who want it. Who beg for it. Again and again.

"Please, please," I whimper.

"Want it, don't you? Can't wait for it. Sweet body. Bet it's a sweet, tight hole. We're going to have fun. Ream you a wider channel than any of your buddies have."

He crouches over me on the sofa and turns me on my back under him. I can't help it; I run my hands over his bulging biceps and under his pits to his pecs. And down his torso to his cock. Our cocks close together. I hold them together in a thick bundle and stroke, as he comes in for another kiss.

Pulling away from the kiss, he laughs a low laugh and yes, "Yes, you are so ready for it."

He turns me on my belly again underneath his crouching body. An arm snakes under my waist, pulling me up on my knees. A wet feeling at my entrance and then inside, the fingers digging, pushing lube inside. Feeling totally full. And those are just the fingers. He's going to fuck me with that cock. Ream my channel wide.

I cry out and writhe under him. "Oh shit! Oh fuck!"

"That's just the bulb," he says in my ear, his chest pressing on my shoulder blades, an arm still under my waist.

"Oh god, take it slow, please!" I warble. "I've never before . . ."

"What? You've never been fucked in the ass before?"

"No, none of it. None of what we've done."

"Oh, sweet jesus. Want me to stop?"

"No, please. I want it. I know it will hurt. Just . . . just go slow."

"Oh, fuckin' A. The first time? For real? Oh, sweet fuck. I love to get them fresh, but I rarely . . . oh, fuckin' sweet jesus. OK, we'll go slow. I'll treat you right baby. I'll be good to you. When I've done you, you'll want it again and again."

"Just give me time."

"I'm already half in, baby. My talking was to distract you."

I hold my breath and stiffen. I can feel him deep inside now. He didn't lie. It's in me. God, it's at least half in me. I've got a huge dick inside me. He's doing it. I'm taking it. I've taken a huge cock! I can do this!

"Breathe, baby, breathe. And relax. Yes, like that. Widen your stance. We'll tighten up again later. Yes, like that. See, you can take it. It's good for you, baby. Daddy's good for you."

"It hurts like hell," I whimper.

"Do you want me to . . .?"

"Just make the hurt go away. Tell me it won't always be like this. Tell me it will be good."

"After this, you'll want it inside you all the time, baby. And I'm all in now. We'll rest for a minute and then we'll really be doing it and the pain will go away and all there will be is the pleasure."

"And the knowledge that I took it. That I have it all inside me," I whimpered.

"Yes, that too, sweet baby. Yes, that too, now, here we go."

I grit my teeth and try to suppress the scream as he starts to slow pump inside me.

"What a fuckin' sweet ass."

He is right. At length the pain drifts at least half way into pleasure. He keeps promising me it will get better and better. And he keeps pumping. Faster and faster. Pain, but I don't care. I'm lost to it, slamming my butt back to meet his thrusts, cum building up inside me—and . . . shooting off . . . again.

He keeps pumping. When he's ejaculated, he takes his arm out from under my waist and I collapse on the cushions. He lowers his body at a full stretch on my back and moves his hands around my body, stroking me.

"See, Fuckin' young stud. You're getting hard again. I'm gonna need more time, though. What a sweet fuck."

He turns my face to his and we kiss.

"That was one Grade A fuck, Allen, my boy. You were worth the summer investment. The beers gotta be too warm to drink now. I'll go get fresh ones. Then we'll fuck again. You'll like it even more the next time. And you'll love it the time after that."

Fuck again? I whimper wearily, not being sure whether that idea scares me or exhilarates me. Maybe both. And maybe that's part of the thrill of it.

* * * *

Both Grandma and Grandpa are in a home now. I visit them almost daily. I have the house all to myself and I'm doing well enough financially to stick with the junior college. My grades are good enough that I'll be able to transfer at the end of the semester this summer. I think I'll go to the university that I can commute to from here.

I like the freedom of having a house to bring guys back to. The table my feet go under is my own now. The men I bring back here usually are older men in their early or mid-thirties. I meet them in bars. I always let them make the first move. I don't want anybody who doesn't want me so much that they'll make the moves. I like the older men. They have experience and they're still young enough to have a vigorous stroke. I like to have it deep and strong. And I like to have it big. I'm still enthralled with the idea of having something that big inside me—wanting to be there, needing to be there. And they are grateful a younger guy like me will give them a fuck. Some are so grateful that they are generous. That's helped me stay afloat. They've got to have good bodies, though. Of course I've had few with as good a body as Mr. Crabtree had.

I haven't been back to Mr. Crabtree's since last October. I don't regret him one bit and I would have kept on. But it turns out that he likes guys that are fresh. By the time mowing season was over last year, I could tell that he was itchy to move on. He's engaged a guy right out of high school to do his lawn this summer—and, no doubt, to be done by him before the summer is over.

My big project now is that I'd like to find my mother and see what she's doing—and just decide for myself how bad that is.