by queenofthedamned19
It's a very good piece of work, i would have liked the last bit to be a bit longer but nonetheless i hope u post a part 2 or more works like this.
It started promising but all that exaggerating while describing the characters, the aggressiveness bordering on rape really put me off....I hope that ur next/future stories r more realistic and less aggressive.
So keep on writing but find some balance or move it to another category. -.-'
Please tell me there will be a part two. Loved this s tory it was very well detailed. Makes for a hot time for the one reading the story. very good
I had no real critiques. Hot story. In future stories, foreshadowing and character development can be very exciting. There were a lot of indicators you were thinking of the conflicts between teacher and student attraction when you wrote this, but neither the teacher note the student had any real struggle in pushing past those. I didn't see it as bad writing, just that more came before this. And that more would make this hotter. I say this only as an example.
For the comment below, I don't understand how being american has anything to do with bad grammer. You can go anywhere and I promise you there's bad grammer.
"I could care less" should have been "I couldn't have cared less"
'"Yes baby take all that cum!" he growled "YOU'RE MINE!" I moaned at that. His possessiveness made my heart clench.' I wish more stories did this. This is what i look for. Love the story hoping for part two!!
queenofthedamned in her biography says that she is attached, then her biography says she is looking for men, just like a woman, she cant make up her mind.