The Big Blonde...Pinkie Invasion

So Max was more than a little surprised when his head popped through his wife's tight cervix. He found himself gazing at the strangest sight since...since...well since mutated Bambi.

"What the fuck?!" Max went for the umpteenth time. He squeezed his body through the womb hole and tumbled (well slid actually, Max was pretty slick at this point) into an impossibility.

"Pink! I'm in a pink room! Impossible!" Impossible because Max expected a large sack full of little pink men, not a room large enough to stand in, much less move around, and by "room", note the quotation marks.

The place was pink; pulsating fleshy pink; dripping-cunt-wet glowing pink; soft, squishy, squelching pink.

Cum dripped off the ceiling and seeped from the walls. Cunt smell spun his head and steeled his cock. Thick, warm, syrupy Bambi juice pooled on the floor, past his ankles. Max's senses overloaded; it was beyond impossible, it was beyond the boundaries of existence itself.

The room was domed; pulsing, red, ropey veins, thick as cables, crisscrossed the walls. Set in ceiling was a giant, blobby globe, light pink, glowing like neon-flavored bubblegum. Directly below it, a raised, circular platform, like a bed made of flesh, pimpled from the juice-flooded floor.

Max was so taken with the aesthetics of his wife's remodeled uterus, he didn't notice the aliens until he heard the giggles. "Heeheeheehee!"

"?! 'Sounds like Bambi!' All right you no good inhuman alien invaders! Show yourselves! Come on! Get out here! You're going to pay for turning baby cakes into...(Max looked around) into a giant Fuck TARDIS!"

Max readied his fists, preparing to unleash his Bronx-honed Italian Catholic wrath upon the Bambi-violating E.T's. "Heeheeheehee!" Giggles erupted around him. Parts of the wall began to move. Lumps and swellings that Max had taken to be lumps and swellings revealed themselves as the titular aliens. Max was immediately jealous. "Fuck! Honey bun was right."

The aliens were short but their cocks were big; big and thick; big and thick as in Ron-Jeremy-takes-one-look-and-becomes-a-monk big. They looked like the Michelin man meets the Cabbage Patch Kids without the former's lumps. "Short, pink, hairless, fat men. Fat men who giggle and smile a lot."

Max's ego wasn't helped when the "Pinks" (who didn't seem shocked at his intrusion [but then, they were aliens with perpetual good humored looks on their faces; no telling what passed for shocked expressions]) pointed at his pride and started giggling.

Max was unused to giggles; at least when it came to his endowment. No one had giggled at the thang since childhood (back in the day the tickle tackle was tiny [ridicule for the doctor players] then the teens hit and kaboom!). Envy from the men and hungry looks from the women, but giggles? Not at Max Casetta! Max's olive-colored skin assumed a pinkish tone of its own.

"Grrr! No one giggles at Max Casetta! Especially fat, pink aliens 'who, I must admit, are bigger schwartzed than me but my cock is still the one that matters'. Prepare for death alien violators!"

Max stomped (splashed) towards the alien, fists raised, penis pointed. Before he could unleash his righteous fury however, one of the aliens raised an object; a hair dryer...well, it looked like a hair dryer. "Oh! Yeah! I forgot, fuck!" Max cursed before his mind was obliterated by a pink flash.

When Max came to, he saw his position was paralytically compromised, complete with raised fist, pointed penis, and a fierce threatening look on his face (or so he guessed by his gritted teeth). "Grrr!" grrr'ed Max (which was all he could do as his clenched teeth made vengeful threat-making all but impossible).

"Ankle-deep in honey cake's honey, and immobilized. What a revolting development! Helpless! Trapped! Uh...what are those guys doing?"

The aliens were in a huddle, giggle/whispering; fat, pink bodies quivering with mirth. Occasionally an alien would glance at Max with a mischievous smirk, at least that's how Max interpreted it. Technically alien expressions or body movements have different meanings from human perception but for all intents, from Max's perspective, these creatures were planning something naughty.

One alien giggled at two others. The two aliens each went to opposite sides of the chamber. Max noticed he missed a few details during his initial view. The aliens stopped before some curious indentations puckered into the wall. "They look like bungholes," he thought.

While the aliens gleefully giggled at him, the bunghole aliens dipped their arms into the puckers. The room immediately reacted. Walls rippled and spurted syrup. The cum pool around Max's ankles flooded to waist length. The pussy smell increased to near gas chamber fumigation, driving Max wild with frustrated libido. He almost swore he could hear, "Giggle! Ripple! Splat!" echo through the chamber. "At least I know why honey pie cums so much."

The two aliens each pulled a basketball-sized globe from the bungholes; smaller cousins to the great globe above.

The flood receded: the aliens set their balls on opposite sides of the bed. Once again Max was throbbing, straining against the pink paralysis while his prodigious penis percolated pre-cum.

The pinks noticed his prong and giggled again. Max, then, saw something that gave him "Yikes-I-don't-like-the-looks-of-this-!" concern. The pink aliens smirked and, as one, their prominent porkers plumped and pointed....at him.

Max's sexual philosophy was best described as solidly heterosexual (no wonder: with a wife like Bambi, George Takei would turn Bob Guccione), overlaid with an Italian-American flavored homophobia.

His cock was a status symbol that expressed his dominance over all sexes; for men, more metaphoric than physical. Size was the weapon not physical contact.

Seeing those dicks advancing towards his person, sported by giggling "Pink!" aliens, evoked the panic of the fresh inmate, the altar boy, and the army recruit. The moisture on Max's skin was no longer exclusively attributed to Bambicum.

Max grunted, "Grrr'ed," and strained but the only part that felt liberated was his Pride of All Mankind.

The aliens surrounded him. Max felt as if he were in a 60's British adventure movie; surrounded by hostile natives, spears ready to skewer his unfortunate white (olive-skinned) ass. (In an aside, Max wondered why he didn't feel as light as Bambi. After her zap, she felt warm and yummy; Max just felt pissed. "Is it a guy thing?")

Max's ruminations evaporated when one of the aliens did what none with dick must ever do to Max Casetta: reached out and touched, "My cock!"

"This...thing is touching my cock! How dare...grrr! He's stroking it! He's plumping me! My masculinity 'OgodthisactuallyfeelsgoodifVinnieandLoufindout...' is violated!"

Max never let anyone other than Bambi (and, pre-Bambi, other vaginally gifted sentient primates) touch the golden sword. Max had always been short...in all aspects, until he hit his final growth spurt in late adolescence. Two inches went into his height; the rest went into the thang (when he measured it, he knelt down and thanked the Almighty).

The great wood, already rigid from the cum-saturated environment, was stroked to steel by the offending alien. "Oh God!" Max moaned. "If I get any stiffer my dick'll peel like a banana!"

The stiffing of Max Casetta was not confined to his grandiosity. Locked into a fighting stance by the pink ray, Max was helpless should the aliens treat him as Bambi. The aliens didn't seem interested in Max's backend however. Their interest in his dick somehow seemed more disturbing. Max remembered Bambi's story of their interest in her pussy before performing highly creative acts upon it. "Gulp! I think they're surveying the territory."

In spite of himself, Max was impressed with the pud-pulling alien. His own pud seemed puddier thanks to the molester's ministration. Max moaned to see his twelve incher seemingly stretched past its limit. Pre-cum dripped to the floor in thick syrupy beads. "Fuck I'm about to blow!" he thought.

Years of similar penis extensions from Bambi had trained Max's package to a time bomb (and the pleasure he currently experienced, much to his chagrin, brought home the lesson that, as any male knows, the sword has a mind of its own and doesn't care who has the touch).

He didn't like the idea of blasting off in his position (frozen with a fierce expression, "I look ridiculous.") but really, there was nothing left to do except let loose.

"This is one hell of a way to cum inside my wife," he thought. "And this is as deep as I can get."

Just as Max was about to give the alien the greatest seed shower ever ("Aw geez! I'm glad Vinnie and Lou aren't here!"), the pink did something so unexpected, so utterly black swan, it set a new precedent in sexual oddity.

He let go of the tally whacker (not unexpected) and opened his mouth, presumably to suck and swallow; but then the alien backed up, giggling.

The pink took his prestigious plumper (thicker and longer on Max by two inches, "Grrr!" [sorry Max]) and fixed it to Max's schlong, one fire hose hooking to another.

Max wanted to ask, "What the fuck?" but he'd already asked it into redundancy. He settled for gaping (metaphorically; his face was still frozen in his fierce "Prepare to die etc..etc.." expression.) in total shock. "This is not how dicks are supposed to be used...isn't it?"

The pinkie penis touched his, glans to glans, pee hole to pee hole. Human and alien pre-cum mingled for the first time in universal history. Max was too preoccupied with sexual confusion to appreciate his role in First Sexual Contact. The touch of the alien tip sent mild shockwaves through his near-bursting shaft.

The others stood nearby, watching and drooling as if his joined schlong was a sausage ready to eat. Max's nervous eyes returned to the conjoined twins and popped as the alien's mushroom cap (which, as with the others, was very similar to his) inverted.

Max got a lesson in alien anatomy as its point turned into a dent, drawing in his own cap, until the fold of flesh separating his glans from the body met the alien's. The effect was to make it one long penis connecting the two; thick and throbbing with veins and arteries, changing configuration and color as it went from man to other.

The bonding took only a few seconds. Max's overloaded mind extended the seconds to minutes. The illusion didn't ignore the fact that he was primed, cocked, and ready. The touch pulled the trigger.

Max's cee and bee's worked overtime. "Omigod! My dick looks like a fire hose!" All that was missing from his throbbing rod was the gurgling sound. "It's a revolutionary carnal novelty!" he tried to exclaim through his gritted teeth.

For countless millennia, from the time Adam and Eve celebrated their expulsion from Eden (not all that great; dull as a Cleveland suburb on Sunday...in January) with an all night fuck fest (actually all night, the following day, and the next three weeks [these two had just discovered sex so they can be forgiven for overindulging]) or, if you're an evolutionist, Blog and Blok celebrated their emergence as DNA strands by doing it doggie style in the primordial splooge, male cocks have pumped the pussies, asses, and throats of females, males, and things between, full of tasty liquid protein, more often than not for sheer carnal pleasure.

Now, for the first time, ever, anywhere, Max had the honor of becoming the first human to pork a penis. The alien burst into giggles as it received Max's manly essence. "Oh! God!" Max exclaimed (actually it was "Urg! Ugg!").

He'd never had a cum session last this long. The gallons of goo didn't surprise Max. His fertilizer was a top sperm producer but he had a birth control pill-popping wife to take the flood, not a mutant alien dick.

"Geez! Where's the jizz going to go?" Max muttered. His answer came (pun intended) when the giggling alien's ensemble, already thick and tuberous, bloated thicker and tuberouser.

Once again, Max's attempt at gapping was thwarted by his frozen state. Pre-Max pump, the alien's girth was a (almost) relative match. Post-pump, Max's tool became obsolete to the larger model.

Max "Grrr'ed" to see his precious endowment humbled by its twice-sized captor. "First my honeybun, now my swackenheimer. Is this the alien's plan? To unman me by turning my wife into a house and then steal my virtue? Grrr! Another revolting development. Damn their superior technology that holds me in this helpless state. Oh God! Something's happening with its schlong! What horrible, evil, alien plan is about to unfold?"

The Pinkie's frank and beans, sausage thick and plum round, beat like an air pump. "Heeheeheehee!" it giggled. Its round belly also air sacked balloon style. Max's monkey reacted to the pneumatics. "Urg! Uck! I'gettig ard! (Oh fuck! I'm getting hard!")

He braced for another blast of his juice. Instead, shockingly, he became the recipient as the Pinkie's belly flexed. Its balls spasmed like a douche bag; a bulge formed and travelled down its cock into Max's.

"Aaaarrrgh! It feels like somebody shoved a baseball up my dick!" Max moaned (actually he said, "Uuuuurrrgh! Ihh eels hike ah ah ee uh...." You get the picture).

The reverse ejaculation brought forth a remarkable transformation in Max's max. Pinkie spunk exploded inside his golf ball-sized stones. Max's frozen condition prevented him from viewing the result. His balls bloated from plums to peaches.

The change did not confine itself to his fruit basket. "Holy fuck! (Olee ugh!)" Max profaned as his schlong, formerly an impressive four inch thicky, girthed to twice the circumference and lengthened another half foot.

Max briefly flashed to those old Ballpark Franks commercials: "They plump when you cook 'em!" (Poink! Poink! Poink!)

If not for the excruciating pain, Max would be thankful for the increased endowment. Apparently the Pinkies didn't take into account the strain on his thin skin. "Moan! My dick is going to explode! What the fuck are they doing?!" (translated from immobile speak.)

Or maybe they did. "Heeheeheehee!" the dick-endowing alien giggled to his companions. A chorus of giggles erupted around Max.

Max's attention, to that point, mostly focused on the cock transforming alien. He'd noted the others' drooling but dismissed it. Penis extension was distracting.

Now the Pinkies were beaming, slobbering, and giggling amongst themselves with extreme jollity. "What are they up to?" he wondered.

The giggles' tone was sly, conspiratorial (from Max's human perspective). The attached Pinkie giggled mirthfully and two others came close. One knelt over his throbber and opened its salivated mouth. Out came a dripping pink tongue, more mauve than bubblegum. He noticed the Pinkie had no teeth.

Max couldn't describe the subsequent action as a blowjob. Still, when the Pinkie wrapped its tongue around his sausage, the response was the same; and when the second Pinkie knelt between his legs and started to slather his balls, Max knew his second blow was seconds away.

Max briefly pondered the revolutionary sexual act. "What do you call getting fellated by two at the same time while glued to another dick? Tri-fluffing?"

Worry followed ponder as he realized his tight skin would not survive another blast. "Oh God, if I cum I'll pop!"

Max didn't pop. Yes, he blew an overwhelming orgasm that consumed his body, but he stayed intact. The two aliens remained on station, slickening his shaft with prostitutional skill. The head Pinkie took his wad and reciprocated.

Max experienced a second wave of agony as an even bigger bulge returned to his balls. When the white flash cleared from his eyes, Max found himself sporting the kind of equipment to make Ron Jeremy consider a sex change. "Holy (various saints and carnal invectives)!"

His penis was lengthened to three feet; and was as thick around as a dinner plate. "Oh!....Oh!...I'm magnificent! I'm hung! More than hung, executed!"

His balls were fleshy grapefruits brushing against his upper legs. Max wished the aliens would unparalyze him so he could run his hands across his humungous horn. "If me and honey bunny get out of this we'll be porn stars! Hell, we'd be our own production company!"

Instead, two more came to do the job for him. Two more tongues joined the slathering. Max detonated again and received the reciprocal. The smoke cleared: three feet round, six feet long, with cantaloupe balls and a shock frozen brain. Pulsing veins and arteries, thick as wire cables raced up and down his length. His sensitivity was hair trigger.

"I...can't....fuck....like....this! I'm too big! What the hell's going on? Are they turning me into male Bambi?"

More aliens joined the polishing. The next blast was one for the record. His woodcock passed lumber into full blown tree trunk: five feet four inches thick, thicker by far than Max was tall, its reach extended to twelve feet.

Max was clueless as to his exact measurements. All he saw was an expanse of flesh inches from his face. His feet dangled impotently as he rested on top a cushion of sperm producing beach balls.

"Those foul alien creatures fucked me into a human dick! Their alien slobber must have done it. Grrr! If I wasn't helplessly immobilized I'd fuck 'em so hard they'd never want another." On the plus side, "At least I'm a match for Bambi."

Exponential increase in size meant corresponding increase in cock sensitivity. Max's thoughts of human dickdom were squeezed between frequent cummings.

"I'm in a fucking marathon! Only honey bunny made me cum this much. Aliens! Male pink aliens 'who've endowed me unimaginably well' match my wife in sexual ability." Max allowed himself a measure of admiration. "Babycakes is truly remarkable."

Max's position concealed the Pinkies' activity from his eyes. Hands, mouths, and tongues stroked his humongousness. Unseen but heard, his opposite giggled orders, "Heeheeheehee!"

The ministrations upon his mammothsity ceased. A pink flash, and Max's hands finally fell to his sides. It took several seconds for Max's face to un-fierce itself. "What?! Whoa?! Hey! Grrr!" (sorry Max)

He tried getting back to fighting position, but between the testicle cushion, the outsized schlong, and the convulsive orgasms, unleashing his righteous fury proved terribly difficult.

"Just wait! Ungh!" he threatened, legs slapping futilely against his balls. "Soon as I..urgh!" He grunted, he squirmed, he came. "Soon as I figure 'fuck, that feels good!' a way out of this 'Damn, what the fuck are they doing?!' you will feel the wrath of the Max!"

"Heeheeheehee!" the Pinkie giggled.

The Pinkie dong detached from Max and shrank to its porn star proportions. Cum splashed upon all parties as the hoses separated. Max gushed jizz with all the fury of a Daniel -Day-Lewis-owned California oil well.

"Urk! Arg! Ack! I'm leaking away! Hey stop that!"

A Pinkie had come behind him and grabbed his beanbags. Its touch on his sensitives did not help Max's cum management. Sounds of increased splatters reached his ears. "What?! Grrr! Unhand me you ball-diddling alien freak!"

The Pinkie not only handed him some more but, accompanied by tittering and "Heeheeheehees" the others joined in; lining on both sides of his girth, they placed hands upon his person and lifted Max above their heads.

"Ahrrr! Stop that! Cease! Desist! You're supposed to be small, puny, alien midgets! How?....Uh, how?....Oh!"

Max remembered how they handled babycakes. My body's light but my mind is pissed. Babycakes said she felt good when they zapped her. I feel...well I must admit their hands do feel very, very good, but I must assert my righteous masculine anger. Unhand me once again alien invaders or I shall kick and squirm and thump your heads with my fists! .....Grunt!.... Strain!.... I mean it!.... Urg!....Arg!... I'm not joking!.... Cum!.... Splat!.... I didn't mean that!.... Slurp!.... Slurp! Hey! Stop licking my balls!... And why are you taking me to that weird bed?