All Comments on 'The Big Brother Hole Ch. 01'

I thought this was an excellent first chapter! I for one really enjoy the slow progression of the story. Yes it is a little on the dark side but that is balanced by the development of Harry and Emma's relationship. Can't wait to read the next chapter :-)

Thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter, the slow build up worked well. Looking forward to seeing what happens to our trapped couple next

A superbly crafted and well written tale. Very well done and quite a superb piece of writing.

The lack of sex did not impact negatively at all.

Looking forward to reading chapter 2.

but then I got into the chapter, and all I could think about was why don't they build a ladder from branches held together by strips of bark that will get up them up that sheer, soft cliff.

I totally realise that you are writing a story that means they can't do that, because otherwise there wouldn't be a story!

So just ignore me and lets move on to the other chapters in this story!!

strange. I'm still reading..........

"Peak" is the word to use when you are talking about being at the top of something, like a hill.

A surreptitious glance is a "peek", which is the word you should be using. You've mixed these up in other stories as well.

Terrifying because it’s plausible, and that makes the uncomfortably sexy parts better for some reason.

One minor quibble. Your is possessive, meaning that something belongs to you or the person you are speaking to. For example, “What is your name?” Or, “Are these your car keys?” You’re is a combination of the words, you and are. Twice in a row you used your when it should have been you’re.