All Comments on 'The Binding Potion'

Listing/describing the "Cast of Characters" before the story, rather than letting the story itself describe them, was a bad move, and made for a poor narrative, as the narrative seemed to assume the reader had read and memorized, or constantly referred back to, that list. I read as far as two or three characters showing up before I gave up on trying to read it.

As far as the up-front exposition goes, show don't tell.

Scenes tend to start and end abruptly, and it's distracting to use letters, especially vowels, to delineate scene breaks. In my mind I heard a voice saying "ooooooOOOOooooo" between each scene. The scene titles also fall under the "show don't tell" guideline.

The ending was flatter than Kansas. The last thought of the story is a piece of worthless exposition. It doesn't end, actually- the words just stop.

You may have good qualities as a writer, but they are disguised by poor plotting and poor structuring. Try thinking of every scene as a mini-story, and try eliminating any need for anything other than the text itself. Those may break you out and let some better aspects of your writing show through.

Awful, just awful.

I enjoyed it, haters.

The format, almost a play but not, got in the way of the story. The lack of identifying the speakers in the long dialogues made it clunky.

Basically, the story was harmed by the odd method of presentation, in my opinion.

It seemed a bit odd at times, but you brought it together nicely. Was there a potion, or was it simply vanilla extract? Was there a spell, or simply a long standing attraction to a woman he failed to consciously recognize. A bit of mystery is good for the soul.

Maybe a story in there somewhere, but I just couldn't find it. I simply went back and forth too much trying to figure out who was talking. You lost me.

A lot of negativity from people who can't appreciate a good story. I liked it.

but every time I read this I cry. I can't help it. I'm a middle aged man. I've played football and I've been in the Army and I drink beer and watch sports all weekend. And I cried reading this story. Damn well done.

Absolutely loved the story, ending was a bit weird but from the mement I started all I could think is nice, nice, nice

Many previous commenters didn't think much of this story - they should have reminded themselves it's a romance story with a dash of magic and very well done.

Thank god I’m not the only one who thought of somebody yelling “ ooooOOOOoooo” when I saw the seperations