The Blameless Bystander Ch. 12

At last, Nathan left and James stepped into the office with practiced nonchalance.

"Nathan left for a meeting with the Superintendent," Abby said.

"I came to see you," he replied, and she gave back a knowing, little smirk. She put on the expression each time he approached her and she knew that the game was about to begin. It was his turn to speak, and he knew it. The words caught in his throat.

"It's been a long time since we've been together, James," she said in that soft, sweet voice that he found so alluring.

"Yes—yes it has," James answered.

"Would you like to make it around seven?" she asked in the routine litany of question and answer that they had developed.

"No," said James in a surprise reply.

"Too early? Do you want to make it eight?"

The fear of self-loathing overtook his instinct to pursue self-interest. He made the shocking decision in an instant. He blurted it out before he could reconsider it.

"No, Abby. I came to tell you that I can't go to bed with you anymore. I can't do it to Bubba. We're friends now."

"Get off it, James," Abby answered. "Bubba will never know. He never has and he's no worse for it. You can still be friends with him." "No. I just can't do it.

"You mean 'won't'. Did Bubba put you up to this?" she asked, the anger rising in her cheeks.

"No, he said to go ahead if I wanted to."

"So you see, it's okay," she lilted joyfully.

"It might be alright with Bubba, but not with me," James replied.

"Vicki told me that she split up with you. I don't know how you think you're going to get laid. You're not the most popular person in town, you know. You need me."

"I'll figure it out later," James said.

"What about me?" Abby cried. "I have needs. What am I to do?"

"Maybe Vicki has some ideas," James answered. "Or save it up for Bubba."

"No one dumps me," she spat out angrily. "You'll regret this."

James turned and slowly walked away.

*********

Once, when the priests were on retreat, Father Brendan and James sat together contemplating spiritual questions.

"What, do ye t'ink, is the nature o' sin, Jamie?" the mentor asked.

"It's an offense to God," he answered by rote. "It's turning away from God."

"Aye, aye; dat's of'n said of it," the old priest agreed. "Might ye t'ink dat any good ever comes o' sin?"

James thought for a moment and shook his head. "No," he avowed. "It's a product of our imperfection—of Original Sin."

"When ye commit a sin, what, den do ye do?" Father Brendan continued the riddle.

"Confess it—seek forgiveness." James responded quickly.

"And do ye not t'ink about God's fergiveness; search yer soul to wonder if ye'll ever find it? Do ye not struggle t' tarn yerself back to Him?"

"Well, yes—of course!" James agreed.

"A babe is born blameless—without sin or knowin' God," the elder priest explained. He squinted through his lenses and leaned forward to his charge. "It's sin, boy, dat brings ye t' Him. T'ank God fer yer sins; dey help ye tarn yer soul inside out, searchin' fer Him—and fer who ye are. One day ye'll stand at heaven's gates with fergiven sins; yer soul will be just as clean as if ye never committed a one—an' ye'll know God better."

*********

TO BE CONTINUED...

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