All Comments on 'The Car Won't Crank'

Great story, can't wait for the next installment!

I hope they become a couple. Love for them to be man & wife.

more......................................

Very nice...the car part worked awesomely.

This story was an exceptional read. I would appreciate your adding more to their story. Looking forward to it. I rated this as 5 stars. I have only given that score to one other story. Please give us more.

I loved this story, especially the way it took me back to the backseat. Excellent writing

I have to admit I nearly skipped this partway through. But it turned into a nice story.

As a car guy I appreciate the car/sex angle of this story. I've written a few car background sex stories over the years but never found an audience. Maybe the sresponse to this great piece has given me a push to try it again. Again, Thanks for a nice, sweet and yet very hot story which could as well have been a neighbor as the boy's mom. Hot is hot!

Thanks for your time and effort you put into this story, I really enjoyed it and it was entertaining like a story should be. Thanks Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The sustained teasing before the pleasing was very well done. Maybe one or two false starts to both auto & taboo liason would have been a bit more tantalizing. Still the web spun by the author was touching.. Should I say "Bravo" or "Vroom, Vroom"?

Thanks for sharing.

You, sir, KNOW how to write a good story!

A little editing would make this a perfect story. The word "loose" for the headliner should have been used instead of 'lose" and a few other little problems that, once fixed, would make this a 5+ rating.

As an editor, I can't stop trying to help improve good stories.

Fantastic writing ability and imagination. Truly an original story. BTW, Mom definitely know her way around a car, and a tool.

PS; I loved the Chevelle. It it a 396? (kidding).

BTW, criticizing one very small spelling error is really anal!

A beautiful storyline and an oh so sweet story.

I love the thought of them making love after they both showered and went to her bedroom and made love all night.

Thanks for the excellent read...

I loved the story and the way you built up to the sex. The sex was very hot but not over the top. It's nice that the Mom didn't have 44 DD's and the son a 10" cock. I know it's anal, but I also noticed the "lose" vs "loose" mistake. Didn't stop this from being a 5 star story, though. Keep it up.

A good title might have been "Salt on Fries" but I prefer how you chose to weave that part of the plot and let that sneak up on me when Mom decided to sense her guilt. Weaving an interconnected sub-plot is not commonly done and shows you have wonderful skills. Thanks for taking the effort to think this through and making a story that kept me wondering how it would unfold and pleased with your choices. Excellent work!

Fucking awesome

all i can say is a well deserved 5 stars

very believable and amazingly sexy!

i love the hint of his dad winking at him in the car, and really hope this comes into play later maybe through the car, or in a mirror or some other subtle way.

like i said before, a WELL deserved 5 stars

Loved the way all the pieces flowed together. The interaction with the memories of the father and the car were priceless. You put a lot of thought into this story, can't see how it can be improved. A story written to perfection. Look forward to reading all your stories. - Vriesea

Good but too many similes and metaphors. "Like being fucked by a water ...fall." WTF does that even mean? "The old car cranks with a rumble that sounds just like laughter." You lost me on that one. "Sitting like a shadow in black and charcoal". Come on this is a sex story not a poem.

Really, really well written. Whenever I find myself actually getting interested in a story rather than skimming for the key "sex words" I know it's a good story.

You build this one very nicely.

Literally the only thing I can say I wish the story had was a few more voyeuristic moments, like seeing what color panties she was wearing. But that's a personal preference :)

Great, great story. Very well done. Congrats.

That's exactly what I got from reading your story, the most enjoyable sensations at every turn, every move between the two of them .I do hope you continue into the shower and beyond.

Of the characters in this story, David is akin to somewhat dorky; ahhh, but his dear, sweet and loveable Mother I could wrap my arms around her, close as possible and never, ever let her go. She exudes radiance, class, temperment, endearment to her deceased husband and her son; she's the enbodiment of honesty and honor, she's tender and traditional, compassionate, but commanding of excellence and accomplishment--she's any male's idea of the perfect female and most certainly their mother. She's also witty and her dialogue is varied and she can converse on many levels; she seems knowledgeable of many things and aspect of daily life!!!

The theme of the story, from far above seems to be fine; however, down in the weeds it sucks. Anyone with mechanical experience, machinery and even automobiles knowledge will not, would not get turned-on because a female brushed her little finger along his elbow--airn't gonna happen! He smells her deodorant, he smells her perfume, he smells her womanly scents, all on the floor on a garage, on a much used creeper, his mother on an old piece of (probably oil soaked) carpet, beneath an older car, where he has just had the oil filter off--nothing about an oil drip pan--both running their hands and arms up, in and around an old oily automobile motor--ain't gonna happen! Even still he's had dozens and dozens of feels, uges, smells, carresses, touches, views, nudges, boob and nipple swipes and brushes--ain't gonna happen!

The worse part is David is under the 3,000 pound vehicle, in sex dreamland, lusting for the nearby female body, with his head up his ass, and unconsciously attempting to commit suicide along with killing or maiming his mother. Man, you gotta pay attention and keep your mind and eye on the ball, the job at hand. Their foreplay

"bed" and surroundings make the story not even close to reality.

My point is not to be harsh, negative nor discouraging, but only to point out, with the facts of the story and some life-reality, that even fictional and mostly incestual stories need to have some believeablity. I've read many of this writer's stories (see, I keep coming back), but this one, in particular the "foreplay" and David's awakening inspiration to his mother's beauty and temptations underneath an automobile, lacks reality and believeability.

Love the part she looks around and say"I can't believe I'm doing this " very hot post a part 2 !

I've read this story at least a half-dozen time, now, most of them after reading the comments that have been posted about it. It never ceases to amaze me, how some people can read a story and yet fail utterly to understand it.

Take "bigdaddyg123", for example. He loves the way Mom is portrayed, in the tale, but doesn't like much beyond that. He gripes that it's totally "out of place" for David to become aroused by his mother's closeness, while they work together beneath the Caprice. He also makes a sarcastic comment about the two of them being near to committing suicide, by fooling around beneath a 3,000 pound automobile.

Wrong. If he'd read the ENTIRE story, instead of just "skim-reading" whilst looking for the 'sexy' parts, he'd have noticed the fact that Mom read David the riot-act for being under the car without using jack-stands. (For the folks who don't do their own mechanic-work on their cars, 'jack-stands' are small, 4-legged, rigid devices that are placed the frame-members of the car, just to the rear of the front wheels, once the car has been raised by a regular jack. In the center of each stand is a cylinder that can be raised and then locked firmly in place, wedging against the frame-member. When these stands are used, you can take the jack completely out from under the car, and it will remain stable and lifted - and is in no danger of collapsing on the mechanic working beneath it.)

In the course of the story, Mom calls him out from under the car, and has him look at the engine from the top-side, while she explains some things for him. Before they get under the car again, they spend half an hour rummaging in the garage for the pair of jack-stands, which they then put firmly into position before going under the car again to remove the starter.

The story also happens to make multiple mentions of the fact that David HAD been one to fantasize about his mother, right up to the time when he met a girl named "Julie", whom he was then involved (sexually!) with, for awhile, before they broke up.

Now, he's without female companionship, save that of his mother. Their closeness under the car, and the glimpses he has of her, work on his female-deprived libido and imagination, causing those "once upon a time" fantasies of his mother to come to the surface. With them flitting through his mind as a sort of 'distraction', it is easy for him to become aroused by brief touches, by scents, and by the sight of her as she lays so close to him. As I said, I've re-read this tale several times, with such critical comments as those of 'bigdaddyg123' foremost in mind, and have yet to find a single flaw with the author's sense of the erotic in this situation. Perhaps it's just that 'bigdaddyg123' prefers his women clean and sweet-smelling, totally void of such 'soils

as sweat and automotive grease. If so, he should at least have the courtesy to preface his complaints with an 'In my opinion..."

Finally, there is one other complainer, who has decided on his own to (while hiding his balls by choosing to post anonymously) bitch about the use of similes and metaphors in the story. Actually, I was quite surprised that so ignorant a cretin actually knows what those literary devices ARE. Apparently, he felt that the author took too much time describing how Mom felt that being shagged by David was like being fucked by a waterfall - a comment regarding the sweat dripping off of his face and upper body as he sought to pleasure her in the hot, stuffy confines of the Caprice's back seat. In this effort, he apparently reminded her greatly of being on the receiving end of similar pleasuring from David's late father, also in the heat of a summer's afternoon, in the stuffy confines of the back seat of a car. Speaking purely personally, I found the word-picture quite delightful - and far more creative than the author merely recounting how sweat was dripping from David's upper body as he pounded into his mother.

Likewise, the image of the vintage, mint-condition, Chevelle - as a shadow in black and charcoal - another excellent word-picture, more so with "shadow" being one of the words suggested by the pleasant-yet-haunting memories of David's father that surfaced repeatedly during the story More so, as it ties in with that 'winking' face in the rear-view mirror - an obvious 'nod' that David's father is somehow aware of, and pleased by, his son's attempt to provide himself as a new man for his widow.

Anyone else that missed that imagery in words was at least decent enough not to comment on things beyond their juvenile comprehension-level.

I suppose that the Anonymous complainer wanted less time spent on metaphors and similes, and more time spent on working "Pound me, baby! Nail Momma to the mattress!" dialogue.

Bigdaddy, not everyone has your antiseptic view of sex. I too enjoy the smells of a sweaty woman. In fact a woman, surrounded in and marked by the evidence of her toil, be it soil, flour, grease, paint, or sawdust, is even more irresistable to me.

nice change of pace with the setting and style. a mom that's sweaty and dirty from working and sex in the back seat to boot. thanks.

Nice work.

I want to know what happens

Really good story construction. The "mechanics" of writing are well developed with very good use of story "tools". I feel you can safely ignore bigdaddy123 who has yet to demonstrate his writing skills, apart from comments that make one wonder if he actually read the whole story.

Spelling is your problem. As a volunteer editor I would be most willing to look over a story and EXPLAIN why specific corrections are needed if you want that sort of help.. An example is "youre" which should be "you're" as a contraction of "you are" as opposed to "your" as a possessive. "your house" means the house where you live, "you're sweet" means that you are sweet. I think getting an editor to give you a revised copy of your story with structured notes would be more helpful than random, incomplete comments from those who are, perhaps, worse than yourself.

Anyway - keep up the writing, your stories are good.

A 1961 Jag XKE of a tale - classic form, endearing idiosyncrasies and beautifully flowing lines. The grammar and spelling were the Lucas electrics of the story, though - some editing would have been helpful, but overall, it was so well done that these were minor distractions in the end.

I absolutely loved the feeling you created. The story line progressed in a very natural fashion and flowed out to the conclusion in an organic and believable way. Usually, an incest story of this length requires a significant amount of willing suspension of belief and more than a little deus ex machina to bring the couple together, but this was doggone near perfect. The dialogue was very believable and although the narrative was slightly spare of detail, it conjured time, place and atmosphere in a way that absolutely grabbed me and wouldn't let go.

Part of me wants to know more about this mother and son, but it's sometimes a good thing to be left wistfully wishing for more. Five very large stars and straight to my favorites list.

Thank you for a superb story.

CPB

just very good story about a mother and young son fined each uther just hope it,s a good one pls give use more of the same .Yours leann xxxxx

good well balanced story

I've read many stories and most mother and son stories are the same. He always looks at her and wishes that she would have sex with him. This goes on for two or more pages then it finally happens. First comes the guilt; next comes the incest part (we shouldn't be doing this) and last comes the sex. He always has a nine inch prick and his mother always has a 38DD.

Went the sex finally comes, he usually comes in her mouth and she swallows all of his cum. He is able to come multiple times within minutes which is bull.

In these stories whether it is one page or more, there is no story, just sex which is why most of us read it. But it gets tiresome.

This story was worth reading. The sons problem with fixing his car was believable and the surprise when we find out that the mother really knows about cars is great. I liked the part about air, fuel and electric that I didn't know before, among other things.

Then came the sons thoughts. Being this close to his mother, smelling her, touching her, wanting to fuck her but thinking that it would never happen was great.

We, myself included, have had those thoughts when we were in our teens but it never happened. And having it happen in the back seat - WOW!

I remember my first fuck in the back seat of my 50 Mercury. It was good, not great. I pulled out a condom. All boys kept one handy (just in case). Ha Ha. Just to let her know It would be safe. There were no pills when I was young.

The author's writing of the sex act was great. The mother saying that she would not be the only one naked and made her son take off his clothes was a good touch.

I especially liked the parts that could have been left out (remember this is a sex story) but were left in. It made it more enjoyable. And the last part where she went into the house to take a shower to clean herself off -- and invited her son to come also come in. Now we know that there is more to come.

Once again, like most of the readers, and I don't do it often. A FIVE!!!!

well written...one of the best till date ...unlike yhe wham bham stuf...nicely portrayed and gentle

I liked this one a lot. Mom and son getting closer and closer under the car. A '79 Caprice has a huge back seat. Mmmmmmm! Sex in the car. Guy or girl I don't mind. So much fun.

You are turning into my favorite writer on here. Another besautiful, warm, passionate tale that made me smile. I love the way you gently moved the plot along until the obvious happened and the age old cliche of the back seat was a good little touch. Well done again!

cute

The VERY best story that I've ever read here on this site. WOW! The mixture of real life, sex, emtional building, and what could truly happen... :) I'm sixty and have worked on about anything that has a piston and even rotary engines. Grew up dating and making out in cars and pickups that fit a 6'3' guy and his date. You are a master word-smith. A true treasure of a find. Now to go read all of the rest of your stuff. Thanks for a great read.

Another of your stories I've read before and like usual would like for you to expand on.The comments by others I agree with you do a masterful job crafting your stories.

Interesting setting, great buildup. Fabulous story!

probably the 3rd time I've read this story and I doubt it will be the last....you can just feel the love when you read it. IT's hot, romantic, sexy and sad all at the same time. Keep up the good work. This is not the only story of yours that we've read more than once.

GRAMMAR POLICE MODE ON

The grammar was atrocious... that of a 12-year-old.

You have posted so many stories. Try harder!

GRAMMAR POLICE MODE OFF

I admit, for the most part, I liked it...

Noticing the deodorant, noticing the sweat, noticing the headliner... brought back memories...

Allyson K.

l usually do, a very good story

Very well done, a beautiful and erotic tale.

Never thought I would be learning how to repair a car from Literotica. Good job sir!

Very good, I really enjoyed this, in its own ways, and how it is different from others of the type.

Usage: You need an editor.

You should use "loose" at least 3 times where you put "lose."

"Yea" sounds like "yay," and is an old-fashioned "yes" vote, or a cheer in modern times.

"Yeah" is the word you needed at least twice in place of "yea."

"Yeah" is modern slang for "yes."

Good story, but, sorry, forgot one thing: On a '79 Caprice, disconnect the black ground cable from the battery first, not the hot, red cable. Any car nut would know this, and if the car had a positive ground system (which the Caprice did not), any one talking about this would also mention that most cars in America are not this way.

This is a safety issue, almost Zero cars in America are set up to remove the red cable first.

I am pretty sure the starter is easier to deal with as well, but, I bow to your story.

I know this was a critical post, but other than getting pulled out of the story by these bits, I really enjoyed the work!

Anon-again

Beautiful, love story. Perfectly describes a mutually consensual love relationship between mother and son. The son is mature enough to realize his mother's emotional state, both in needs and wants. His self-awareness, id, and ego are strong enough to stand to be compared to his deceased father and addressed by his name. The mother realizes her son is a mature male. Understandably, she subconsciously compares her son to her deceased husband. However, she know the difference between the two. Finally, each accepts the love of the other without guilt, shame, and/or self-loathing. They both recognize that sex is how humans truly express the deepest love and affection for each other. It is the most physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fulfilling experience life has to offer.

one of the best i have seen. brought tears to my eyes