The Coffee Shop Pt. 04

"Whatever you decide," he said to me, in that same even calm voice. "Know this. First, that no matter what you decide, I will still love you. Second, I love you enough to let you go, if your answer is 'no'. Third, whatever you decide, be sure it is what is best for you."

With that Andy bent down and pressed his lips against mine in an unmistakably passionate kiss. "Damn it!!!" I thought to myself. "He's not playing fair! He's sure as hell giving me something to miss!" The kiss was all too brief. Andy stood up and looked at me, his face painted with a sad and longing expression, intermingled with the love and caring he so clearly felt for me. I looked back at him, dumbfounded. It was easy to guess at what he wanted me to say, but I could not bring myself to say it, or anything else for that matter. Andy sighed softly, turned around and walked out of my apartment. He closed the door softly behind him. He left me alone, with a heavy heart, and an even heavier question on my mind.

Chapter 2. When Push Comes To Shove.

Slowly I got up, and walked over to the door. I locked it and then returned to my seat on the sofa. I sat there looking at the rings lying in their box, occasionally shifting my eyes to glance again at the lab report that lay beside the jewelry box. Slowly I reached out with my hand to close the box. I was surprised at how badly my hand was shaking. That box scared me! My mind might not have admitted it, but my body knew that for a fact. I had to take a couple of deep breaths, and close my eyes before I could calm myself enough for my hand to stop trembling. I opened my eyes, and looked at the rings once more as they lay in on that black velvet, inside the box. I reached out again, and this time I was successful in closing the lid of the box. Not being able to see the wedding bands any more seemed to help. I stood up and headed to the kitchen. I might not know what my answer to Andy's question was, but I knew what I was going to do right now. I was going to make myself a cup of tea. Rather a fresh cup of tea. I picked up the cup and saucer from the coffee table and quickly drank down the remaining lukewarm tea in the cup. I then picked up the empty glass that Andy had used and headed off the kitchen.

Once I arrived in the kitchen I started collecting the various items I would need for a cup of tea. It was this normal everyday routine event that helped to restore a little bit of balance to my troubled mind. I concentrated only on what I was doing, every step of the way. The mundane task of getting a cup and saucer from the cupboard. (I suppose I could have used the cup I had just brought into the kitchen, but I wasn't exactly thinking clearly at this point. I was on automatic pilot, so to speak.) Obtaining a spoon from the silverware drawer. Filling the kettle with water and plugging the kettle in. Waiting for the water to boil. Pouring the water into the cup. Getting a tea bag and placing it in the hot water, in the cup, and finally setting the timer for three and one half minutes. I stared at the water getting darker as the tea steeped. The timer went off, and I spooned the tea bag out of the cup. I placed the tea bag in the garbage. Finally I added one teaspoon of sugar to the contents of the cup, and stirred it.

I took my hot cup of tea and sat down at the kitchen table. As I waited for the tea to cool enough for me to take a sip of it, I was amazed at how much calmer and more peaceful I felt. The simple act of making a cup of tea, had been a much more soothing event that I thought it would have been.

Rather than attempt to deal with the question that Andy had asked me, I let my mind drift and my attention wander. I sipped the tea. It was wonderfully warm as it slid down my throat. I found it relaxing, and comforting. As I wallowed in that wonderful state of peace and calm, I decided to sleep on the question, and face it tomorrow. With any luck the morning would bring a new perspective to me, and I'd be more able to deal with such a complex question. After changing out of my suit shirt and tie, I spent the evening soaking in a hot bath, reading a book. I kept away from the living room where a small black box sat on a coffee table, waiting for me. I managed to fall asleep without too much difficulty.

When the alarm went off the next morning, I awoke feeling a bit tired. I had woken up several time during the night. I had fallen back to sleep, but the night had not been as restful as it normally was. Small wonder, considering what I would have to think about today. I went through my morning ritual, of taking a bath, shaving, and getting dressed. I prepared my usual breakfast, and sat down to eat it after I retrieved the morning paper from the hallway outside my apartment.

Finally, though, I could put it off no longer. I walked out to the living room, wearing my faded blue jeans, athletic socks, and a Maple Leafs hockey team T-shirt. (What can I say? I dress down on the weekend, especially when I'm not expecting company. Is it necessary for me to mention that I was wearing underwear as well?) I sat down on the sofa and looked that that little black box. It was time for some hard thinking, about Andy, about me and about us. I looked at the clock on the living room wall. It read 10 AM. I tried to imagine what life with Andy would be like. I knew that it would not be exactly the same as it has been these past four months. There would be changes, and I was not sure exactly what they would entail. I knew that I did not want to give up hypnotizing men other than Andy. It was an activity of mine which I had come to enjoy and I wanted to keep in practice. I helped at lot of guys using hypnosis (and especially super hypnosis). Besides it was a lot of fun, even if it did border on sexual play sometimes. Early in our relationship Andy had said that he did not expect me to give up this hobby of mine. I wondered though, if that was going to change now that Andy wanted me to wear his ring.

There were too many unknowns for me to even guess at what our future relationship was going to be like. So, I looked at the other side of the coin. I imagined what my life would be like without Andy in it. I knew that if my answer was 'no' Andy and I would part company. He was a man of his word, as I had discovered over the past four months. The outlook was bleak and depressing. Life without Andy in it was going to be as empty and lonely as it had been before, only now I would be much more aware of just how lonely and empty my life had been. Not a pleasant picture at all. I sighed silently to myself as I tried to make up my mind. I looked at the small black box and opened it. The two wedding band still lay where Andy had placed them the night before. (Was it only the night before? It felt like it had been a lifetime ago.) I looked at the wedding bands as they lay there. Slowly I reached out and picked one of them up, pinching it between my thumb and forefinger.

The metal was cool and hard to the touch. The golden band glinted as I looked at it. I took the band and slipped it on the ring finger of my left hand. It slid on easily, even over my knuckle, since the ring was easily a couple of sizes too big for me. (Well, how could Andy have known? He'd never asked what my ring size was. After all, if he had asked me what my ring size was, it would have spoiled the surprise.) I spent some time looking at the ring as it lay there encircling my finger. This wasn't helping any. I took off the ring and looked at it again. I blinked in surprise as I thought I saw some engraving on the inside of the ring. I turned on one of the living room lamps, and held the ring up close to it, examining the ring carefully. It was daylight and the curtains were open so the lamps really did not need to be on, but every little bit of extra light helped.

"Grow old along with me!" I read silently to myself. It was a line from a poem by Robert Browning. My throat tightened with emotion as I recalled the lines of that poem

"Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

the last of life for which the first was made."

"Dear Lord, how could I have ever doubted how Andy felt about me?" I asked the silent room. "I should have said, 'yes' then and there. I should have just gone with my feelings and said 'yes'." But back in my mind remained that nagging little doubt, the doubt that kept reminding me that I had never had any serious long term relationship in my life. I'd had a few short failed relationships, but nothing like what Andy was asking of me. I had to be careful. I had to be sure, in my own mind, that this was 'the one'. I was starting to fall back into that confused state I'd been wallowing in last night. It took some effort, but I managed to clam down and think clearly about how I felt about Andy, and what I saw happening with us. Was it worth the risk? Yes, unquestionably. Was I ready to take that risk? I sat there trying to come up with an answer to that question. I wasn't sure. I thought some more about Andy, and the times we'd spent together, the joy and happiness we'd discovered in just spending time with each other. That had to mean something, didn't it? I thought back to our first date, the dinner that Steven and Jack had set up, and I smiled at the memory. I thought about the other times we'd spent together. Then, in a moment of crystal clarity I recalled what I had said to Andy, when he had confessed to me that he was afraid of choosing between his love for me, and his love of his duty.

"Don't you know I'd rather have five minutes of wonderful with you, than a life time of loneliness and emptiness, such as I've known?" That is what I had said to him then, and at the time I'd meant every word.

The words seemed to burn in my mind as I remembered the feelings that had overwhelmed me when I'd spoken those word to Andy. The words were as true now, as they had been then. I wanted whatever time I could have with Andy, however short it might be. I was too concerned with losing what I had, to see what it was that I could be passing up. I got hold of myself and looked at the clock. It read 11:30 AM. I grabbed the phone off the nearby end table and dialed Andy's number. I'd made my decision, difficult as it has been to do that. Now, I had to break the news to Andy. I only hoped he'd be as thrilled and excited about my answer as I was. On the third ring the phone was answered.

"Hello?" Said a commanding male voice, which was not Andy's.

"Yes, uh, hello." I answered. "Maybe I please speak with Andrew Anderson?" I asked.

"Might I ask who is calling?" Inquired the voice.

"This is Paul Walton." I answered.

"Hello, Paul. This is Chuck Chatterly," the voice replied. "I'm sorry but Andy's not in right now."

"Oh I see," I said, somewhat surprised. Chuck's voice seemed somewhat more distant and cooler than normal, almost as if he didn't really want to talk to me. "Would you be kind enough to give him a message for me?"

"Okay. Please hang on while I get a pencil and paper," Chuck answered. A few moments later he was back on the line. "Go ahead. I'm ready."

"Could you please ask Andrew to drop by my place at about 2 PM this afternoon? I have something I want to talk to him about."

"Fine, I'll give him the message."

There was a loud click and the line went dead. I held the handset away from my head in surprise. Chuck has been rather abrupt, almost rude with me. It was not at all like him. I hoped I hadn't caught him at a bad time. I hung up the phone and decided to watch a few movies to kill the time until Andy arrived.

At 12:30 PM my doorbell rang. I turned my head in surprise at the sound. The doorbell rang a second time. I pressed the stop button on the VCR and stood up. It couldn't be Andy. I went to the door curious as to whom it could be. Imagine my surprise when I looked through the peephole in the door and saw Charles (Chuck) Chatterly standing on the other side of the door. He was the last person in the world I expected to see. I opened the door.

"Hello Chuck," I said to him once the door was open. "This is a surprise. Why are you here?"

"Could I come inside so we can talk about that?" He responded, avoiding my question.

"Sure," I answered, and gestured him inside. Once he was inside, I closed and locked the door. Then I turned around to get a good look at him.

Chuck, who was just shy of six feet all, still towered over me. (Actually, Chuck was only an inch and half or so taller than I was, so he didn't exactly 'tower' over me. It just seemed that way, for some reason.) His clean good looks were pleasing to look at, but they were in no way outstanding. He was wearing a black leather jacket hanging open. Beneath the jacket I could clearly see the plain light blue knit shirt that he was wearing. The shirt had a three button placket, but I could not tell if it had short or long sleeves, since Chuck had not removed his jacket. The shirt was tucked into a pair of light blue jeans. Chuck was not wearing a belt in his jeans. The jeans looked to be close fitting but not tight. (Well, you can't have everything.) It took only a moment or two for me to take all this in.

Chuck bypassed the front hall closet and headed directly for the living room, slipping off his black leather jacket en route. As I followed Chuck into the living room, I was pleased to note that from the back at least, his jeans were close fitting in a very nice way. They were not tight or snug, exactly, but they did follow the curve of his butt, without any sagging or bagging. I really don't like pants that sag or bag around a man's butt. It strikes me as sloppy, somehow. I quickly glanced down and made note that Chuck was wearing a pair of nondescript sneakers. They were more gray than white, which suggested that they had seen plenty of use.

Chuck sat down on the left end of the sofa and made himself comfortable. He placed his jacket off to his right, and looked up at me, as I continued walking into the living room. I sat down in the swivel rocker chair next to Chuck, and made myself comfortable as I looked at him. Chuck's shirt had turned out to be a short sleeve knit shirt after all. It fit him well, too. Like his jeans it was close fitting but not tight. The shirt hung off of Chuck's shoulders and bagged only slightly at the waist where it was tucked into his jeans.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about, Chuck?" I asked him after a short pause.

"What did you do to Andy?" Chuck asked me in a no nonsense tone of voice.

"Excuse me?" I asked dumbly. I was taken aback at the bluntness of Chuck's question.

"It's a simple enough question," Chuck replied. "So why not just answer it."

"I haven't done anything to Andy," I answered truthfully. "Well, nothing I'm likely to tell you about, anyway," I thought silently to myself.

"Sure you did," Chuck answered, with a touch of annoyance in his voice. "You hypnotized him. I know that you did. Don't try to deny it"

"Who told you that?" I asked still puzzled. "And if I did, what business is it of yours?" I shot back, not bothering to hid the tone of annoyance in my voice as well.

"Well, Andy told me that you hypnotized him," Chuck answered. "A while ago I noticed how much better he seemed to be coping with things and when I asked him what his secret was, he told me about you. He explained how you helped him to relax and deal with the pressures of his job. He was most enthusiastic about it."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that Chuck, but it doesn't explain why you are here," I said to him.

"Andy's been spending a lot of time with you, lately, " Chuck said, his voice remaining frosty. "It's not like him. I want to know exactly what goes on in these so called sessions of yours. I've checked up on you, and you are not a licensed therapist. Andy's my best friend, and I keep an eye out for him."

"Ah, I think I see," I said as understanding finally started to dawn on me. "You are a bit worried about Andy, and that he might be getting into trouble."

"I suppose you could put it that way," Chuck agreed some what reluctantly. "So what does go on during your sessions?" Chuck asked again.

"Exactly what Andy has told you," I answered as I avoided Chuck's question. "I don't discuss the details of my sessions with anyone. It's up to the subject to decide if he wants to talk about the sessions, and to whom."

"Sorry, but I don't buy that line of bullshit," Chuck responded, and his face started to take on a slightly mean look. "Andy might trust you, but I don't. I want to know EXACLTY what goes on in these so called 'sessions' of yours."

I swallowed my natural impulse to snap out some smart ass remark. I paused for a few moments before replying to Chuck' statement. I realized that for some reason he was not willing to take 'no' for an answer. I tried to think of something to tell him, since I could not tell him the truth. I would never betray Andy's trust in me, and besides it was none of Chuck's business. "To be blunt, Chuck," I said timidly, not wanting to escalate the situation. "It's none of your business. What happens during Andy's sessions with me, is a private matter."

"I'm making it my business, Mister," Chuck responded, his voice starting to heat up. The emphasis on the word 'making' was clearly evident. "I'm not leaving here until I find out what the story is with you and Andy."

"Oh boy, would you ever be surprised!" I thought to myself. But I couldn't tell him the truth. Andy would never forgive me. I looked at Chuck and a surprising thought popped into my mind. Maybe I could tell him the truth, if I could make him forget it afterwards. I'd already proved to myself that I could do that with some guys. With any luck Chuck was not immune to my powers like Andy was. A quick and harmless test would be enough. I looked at Chuck, directly into his eyes as he waited for my response. "Stand up and bow to me, then sit back down. You will not remember doing this." I pushed the commands into Chuck's mind as quickly as I could, and waited to see what would happen.

Chuck looked at me and his face took on a blank and empty expression for a moment. His face remained expressionless and zombie like as he smoothly stood up and turned slightly to face me. He bowed to me in a fluid and even motion. He stood back up, and looked at me blankly for a moment before he sat back down on the sofa. Chuck blinked his eyes a few times as the spell wore off and he returned to normal. His face quickly reverted back to that slightly mean expression that he's been wearing on it for the past few minutes. It was a sure sign that Chuck was back to normal and didn't have any idea or memory of what had just happened. As for me, I'd experienced a sudden surge of sexual excitement while all this was going on. (Like you expected me NOT to react? Hey, I'm not a monk, after all.) So, I knew now that I had a safety net if I needed it. I could use my super hypnosis powers on him, if it became necessary. However, I still didn't have an answer for Chuck, and he looked like he was getting impatient with me.

"I'm not leaving until I have an answer, you know," Chuck reminded me needlessly.

"No I suppose not," I sighed. "I am surprised, though, that you expect me to betray Andy's trust and tell you about our sessions. How can you even think of putting me in such a position? Why is it so important for you to know about this?"

Chuck looked at me right in the eye for a few moments before he spoke. "Andy could wind up in a lot of trouble, if it were discovered that while he was hypnotized he talked about his job."

"You need not worry about that," I said with sincere relief in my voice. "I am well aware of 'The Oath Of Secrecy' that binds an RCMP constable. I know that because of that oath Andy cannot talk about his work, to anyone other than another police officer. I do not know how much you know about hypnosis, Chuck, but I cannot force Andy to do anything in hypnosis that he would not otherwise do. I can't make him talk about his job. I consider Andy my friend, and I would never even think of asking him about his work, hypnotized or not."