All Comments on 'The Comet Changed Everything Ch. 01'

I can't wait to read more.

I loved this. Please write more :D

you spend 3/4 of this chapter on life setup, and then only 1 paragraph on the earthquakes and bio changes. moreover you tell us everything in third person, rather than show us how people feel in conversations and actions.

a good start, but needs work.

Yoiu could have used a little more story to go from comet to huge changes in the atmosphere.

Okay, I'll agree with the criticism that you condensed into one paragraph the entire change of the planet; that would be a novel/screenplay in and of itself.

But then, that's the point. You have the makings here of a novel, or series of novels. And that's a statement presuming that you can't convert it into a set of screenplays.

Get the email address for Spielberg; you're on the verge of creating a blockbuster trilogy of movies.

Carry on, Sir!!!!

-- KVK

A very good first effort, aside of course from the abrupt change in story line. My thought is spliting the two parts into two individual stories.

Brevity can be good as long as you don't run over understanding. The transition from expansive background into fuzzy chaos with a lack of clarity left me wondering if I had missed something.

A great very imaginative start non-the-less. Don't write a chapters end until you are into the next one - then back up to conclude and lead into the next. Endings are tough but not necessary in chapter 1-4 just 5.

All in all a very good 1st story. Accept the learning curve as best you can attitudinally - step back - cant your head for different viewpoint - and plow on.

With your second story write all chapters to avoid the contortions which can be necessary to correct what occured inadvertantly in chp. 2 now affecting chapter 4's desired path.

It's easy to sit here observing, so be diligent and keep to your standards even as the alligators circle for a piece. There are site resources, editors and other writers to talk to that can help keep the boat on an even keel. Make mistakes in the growing and knowing that this won't be your best work but it can be a stepping stone to where you may want to go.

With Best Regards

I liked if. You do have some transition problems. Youparagrahs are a tad too long for my taste but an excellent first chapter!

Keep going!

Best regards

C

I also must say that this is an excellent beginning. I agree that the transition should have been expanded. Probably into several chapters. The difficulties in adapting to this new world would have laid a good foundation for how they do their part in rebuilding civilization.

The criticism about using the past tense is unfounded. This is how the best stories are written. You are on the right track. Keep it up.