All Comments on 'The Commander Ch. 05'

This is a great story line so far, but I can't wait for the "must be coming" twist in the back of your mind. Keep it up.

Oh, yeah, this was one helluva awesome chapter! First a bit romantic, then mysterious discoveries, then super hot twin scenario, ending with a bit more romance. Damn, you sure are mixing it good!

You know, when he started inquiring as to what former Jet did for living, it totally gave me that "uh-oh" vibe, with all "how come he gets the money without doing anything, nobody calling on him, etc", and especially when he found the server. In that moment I figured: hey, this guy is actually a mobster, or at least someone in close ties with the mobsters who are into blackmail and extortion business on some judges or politicians. You know, you still have room to wiggle around if you want to - oh, I dunno - suddenly drop the mafia bomb! (grins) It would be a major plot thickening!

The bottom line is that I like the mystery, and I'd like to see even more of it! You tagged this chapter as action adventure, so I sure would like to see more of such, and with higher action and higher stakes - though not too much, or too excessive, if you know what I mean. But the thing is, that's how these things usually go. You've made some awesome fertile soil for a major action-packed mystery scenario!

Now, emotional-wise, you have totally nailed it. The little things between Jet and Fiona are adorable (well, there goes my manhood). And the sex scenes? Hot! The twins pulling that trick on him? Super hot! I like that he didn't use his power to figure out which one was which, and now that it's done and done, he will never truly know, which is also hot to think about! I like to see some balance like that - a man such as him, so confident and powerful to have a thing or two to unbalance him, so he gets dominated? - it spices things up a bit just right! Feel free to go forth with a bit more of those. Oh, and btw, I'd like to see all those BDSM sex toys used real soon and with abandon - and consensual of course! Let your imagination soar with those.

And one last thing: I really wonder how will you handle the moment when Don's old body gives out. I know you've hinted at it through him not being able to sense Jet's old memories as well as he could, but maybe something in the lines of him realizing that his jump had always made consciousnesses actually switch bodies, and that Jet "sleeps" in his old one, and that he will pass away... or not! A cliffhanger might be cool as well, as long as you resolve it properly.

Aaaaand that's it from me. Way to go on this one!

Now this chapter I really enjoyed. 5* ty for this chapter and renewing my interest in the story/ bill

You've got cancer! But this fucker doesn't! Such an awesome story idea. Please don't let that clock sucking abuser resurface. Love the story keep it up!!!!!!

This chapter may be one of the best. Great combo of sex and story.