All Comments on 'The Commander Ch. 09'

This was a fantastic series. I read them all in one sitting, and was hanging on each word and page.

Thank you for giving us all a glimpse into the lives of Don, Jet and Fiona.

I wish you all the success in your writing. I'll be looking for other things from you.

Mike

Great story from beginning to end. There were quite a few twists and turns that I didn't see coming. Really enjoyed it.

I absolutely loved your story! I hope you continue as I feel you have an incredible talent.

couldn't stop once I started reading it. the best story I have read yet!!!!!!!

I loved the fact that the story was more than the erotic parts, or even don/jets's special abilities. His path for redemption and personal self growth was especially moving. Very well written.

My husband signed up and loves your stories and all other venues in literotica! Way to go guys!!

Thanks for the story!

Wyoby67wifedeceiver

So many unnecessary detail. The epilogue did add a sense of warmth at the end. /one thumb up

I enjoyed this fantasy. It was literate and well plotted. Some great and imaginative ideas.

But it was let down by clichéd sex scenes from second rate porno movies. OK I could do better already but seriously if you could get the 'erotic impression' score up to the 'technical merit' score, you'd definitely be in line for a gold medal.

I read it all. The best part is the careful thought that went into working out the powers, plot, and revealing the lessons learned and illustrated. It was a lot more than just sex with a bit of mind control.

I think it was a mistake to have Fiona's crime be the homicide of a young boy, and described in such painful detail, especially as she did it out of self indulgent distraction, worse that it was a hit and run. It was a less "heroic" response than intended to ensure she got away with it. It detracted from her.

The new Jet managed the emotions of the sister, and was willing to manage Fiona too in some things, and fixed the relationship between sisters. It does seems obvious that he manage the two of them into a three way marriage, secured by suitable contract for the sister. It fits the rest of their way of thinking as displayed in the story.

I think that it is over the top, jumping the shark, to add to this the idea of being President. Just politics is good enough.

Overall, it is very well done, and shows growth from working on it. I stayed with it with great interest.

Having realized he was doing something to get his way, that Fiona actually went back to an earlier thought she'd had - "who are you and where's Jet?"

After all, she loves this guy and whether he's Jet - a guy who viciously abused her and blackmailed her into accepting it - or a guy who stopped that from happening and made her life something worth living... I really think she'd feel better about the latter - besides that would mean, after all, that there was NEVER a chance of Jet coming back.

Enjoyed the story though.

First I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the plot. It was well thought out and well written, however, I agree with some other comments who criticise the sex scenes, which become boring and repetitive. While actually having sex is almost always great, descriptions of it are less engrossing.

In my view, erotiscism is more complicated than just the physical

I agree about the president idea at the end wasn’t good, but as a first story I applaud you

I LOVED this series! I could not put it down until I finished it. I enjoyed that the characters weren’t perfect. Don as Jett, and Fiona were both flawed. They were not 100% good or 100% bad. I felt that made them much more relatable. There were only two suggestion I have. I felt like when Don died and he was remembering his wife and child he should have been much more emotional. Nothing compares to the loss of a child. Also maybe more inner conflict and comparison of his first wife to Fiona. He was essentially Don and his first wife loved him, flaws and all. I also think he should have come clean with Fiona about not being Jett. That would have made their relationship 100% real. And she would know the bastard who abused her was dead. She could finally know without a shadow of a doubt he would never be a bastard again and no one would ever know about the accident. All in all, an awesome, raunchy, HEA!!!

Well done for your first story. I liked the characters and the flow of the story. I couldn't put it down and had to finish it. I know this was written some years ago, but quality never goes out of style. Good character build up and I was interested in the story as much as the sexual parts. Thanks for your time and imagination.