All Comments on 'The Crazy Things We Do For Family'

one star

good long story with a great plot. eagerly waiting for your next!

it just got more boring & mixed up as it went along 2*

I gave it 3*'s as it was too long and too awkward to read. Some of phrases you used over and over again were just too weird (ie "her oral passage", "her oral canal", "her maw", "her vertical lips", etc). No one has ever talked like that in real life. Ever!

You really are a talented author and I hope to see more submissions from you in the future. Just a suggestion but please consider using the editor service on the Literotica site. Having someone read your work before submitting it might help you eliminate some of the issues your readers have commented on.

I don't care what others say I loved this story & I would love for u to write about all that happens on stage :) I like how long it was because I hate having to keep switching chapters like the other story's I've read. I rated this a 5 & hope you write more to this story :)

Might have some mistakes. Might have some repetitive lines. Might be long. But it sure did have new twist to it. Great plot and I liked the format. How many stories have the naysayers put up on the site. My hats off to you and anyone who goes thru the effort and puts themselves out there open to the CRITICS!

True 'dat.

In addition, you need to get rid of the thesaurus. Remember the rule between a good story and a great story is K.I.S.S. This story would have benefitted from a good editor, as he/she could have helped you to tighten up the story. On many occasions you also used the wrong words. For example: "his" was used instead of "he's", and you used "hoes" (a garden tool used to control weeds and break up dirt) rather than "hose" (in this case, something used to direct the flow of fluids). Reread the story as it appears on here and you will see other problems.

Basically, this was a potentially great story spoiled by the writing. This was a unique premise for a story, and I hope you have some other unique stories waiting to be shared. Just make sure you get a good editor. Maybe you could start with a 'short' follow-up to this story, as you did leave it with an open ending. Remember K.I.S.S.

Strange way to bounce back and forth between the story and it seems like this has been done a couple of times but you did pretty well in the writing and keeping my interest. Much better than most, please keep it up, I look forward to reading other stories in the future.

too many twists and turns to arrive at the main storyline.

It was entertaining and amusing for the most part but the constant negative back theme detracted from the over all enjoyment.

and, no one cares what theme his boxers are. The repeated reference to which cartoon character he was wearing did not conjure the image of a mature young man.

for the rest of his life. Gave you a 5

Tell me the truth, you wrote this story while working the customer service phone lines somewhere in India, didn't you? Be honest...

You should learn to edit yourself, because many of the editors on here are as much an amateur as yourself. Many will even try to rewrite your story. What you need to do is learn to be objective when you're done and cut things you wrote, as hard as that is to do. By learning to edit yourself, you'll learn how to write and polish your skills twice as fast. And if you do use an editor from Lit, get to know them first and don't be afraid to say, 'We don't see eye to eye,' but don't be afraid to take advice either.

Why would anyone want to ruin their life with their faces online doing porn??? millions watch them and it WILL get back to family and friends and bosses what you have done. SO dumb ass total rejection, no job. MOST porn actresses are very dead in three years, buried six feet under THAT IS REALITY. yes there are high money making stars, but they are RARE. young girls drawn into porn films are down and out and lost it. after realizing what they have done with all knowing their deeds ALL is lost and they almost always are DEAD within three years. THAT IS A FACT!!!

'His' 'he's' definitely spoiled it for me. I mean, kids using crayons wouldn't mix the two. The story, such as it was, had a promising premis, but you over complicated it, went off piste, and subsequently ruined it. ....if it were not already at the end I would have ducked out right there when you wrote about the 'bouncer/bodyguard' that had a 'black mental thing tucked into his belt.' Really? A mental thing? Pay for an editor.

Sorry for accidentally deleting all my old comments. I will rewrite this story for all those who enjoyed it.

I love the depth of the story line. Even with the grammatical errors that I found throughout the story, it really was a good read. Though, I would like to know what came after that last show. Did they stay together? Did Dylan convince his mother to become a couple? I'd really look forward to another pert of the story.....

But either way, really good read!

My only issue with this piece is your use of the words, subsequently, consequently, and a few others that slowed down the flow of your prose. I feel shorter synonyms would work better. The jumping around in the timeline was a bit confusing as well. Otherwise, a great job! I gave you 5*s.

You definitely have a knack. Keep writing. :)

The timeline thing.. I gotta say, you did a excellent job of using it! You even explained it to slow minds like me at certain points..lol..The way you Kept my attention with your writing, I couldn't make out from one minute to the next what was or might happen. Very well thought out and I believe there would be a future story on maybe how uncle made it thru the surgery, Barely but made it and the sex between Karen an Dylan was what kept Karen from having a nervous breakdown up to the day of the uncle's surgery at the same time Karen truly falling in deep love with Dylan and her having to eat the words of never having a long lasting relationship outside of her being jus mother and son. It would definitely be a buildup story about how she's feeling towards Dylan about being her life long partner and her not realizing it while the two keep getting closer..Great job 5🌟

Since it's the first story you finished, it's not surprising that it doesn't follow all the later lessons you put into your "how to improve your writing" piece later. Pretty uneven on the sentence level and in serious need of a second set of eyes for spelling, grammar and typos. But taken for what it is, not a bad first out of the gate. Good plot twists, and I kind of liked the self-aware narrative voice walking us through them. I'm not much for incest stories, but the loving detail you lavish on the sex scenes goes a long way toward redeeming this story. You're honing your craft. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Okay, first, I have to say...only **4** Stars for this story; I know that knocks the rating on it down a bit, but it IS deserved, and here is why.

Obviously (maybe jumping to a conclusion here) Enlish appears to be your second language, or you are VERY uncomfortable with writing. There are excessive grammatical errors throughout the pages, which distract from the reading, and could have been caught by an editor with a modicum of patience.

A lot of words were incorrectly used, yet, in the context of the story, the meaning came through; also, I speak Spanish, which helps me understand what you were trying to say-I am completely sympathetic to this difficulty in writing this, your FIRST story...

Thank You for a telling tale! The beginning was Oh So Strange, with the deception and off-beat reactions Karen had to her son; this was quickly ironed out and cleared up.

Just a good editing and reposting, other readers will so enjoy reading your work, also!

Lol. You know, English technically is my first language. I mean, I've been speaking it my entire life, and it's the language I've - for the most part - been educated with. The problem with this submission was how I underestimated the skill of writing. In fact, I really wasn't thinking about it at all . All I wanted to do at the time was write a story. Execution wasn't of high priority. Only after my readers told me I had the potential to be a good author did I start learning about all the principles of writing and how to edit and all that.

The plan was to redo this story and make it a better read, but then I decided to leave it the way it is for my how to improve your writing article, just to show people my progress and that if you want to, you can improve. I'm having second thoughts about that now. I'm thinking I probably should put up a cleaner and maybe even extended version of this.

Great story, but it needs a continuation. A little confusing with the timeline jumps, but we'll written. Lots of unanswered questions, like what happens after? Does her brother's surgery go well? As they were walking into the warehouse, 'we all know who this is'. My suspicion is that was Margo, the principal at the school. That is another question to be answered. Do Karen and her son end their 'new' relationship after the show? These, and many more questions can be answered with a PART 2! 5⭐

A crazy, yet sexy and erotic story with multiple plot twists that you were able to pull together with seemingly no difficulty. Well written and well done!